In what countries is parenting the most "strict"?
By The Horse
@TheHorse (218828)
Walnut Creek, California
August 27, 2018 12:53pm CST
In the United States, parenting overall seems quite "Liberal" to me. Children are encouraged to "express themselves," and are sometimes not held accountable for their actions. It can work in families where parents model good values and a good work ethic. But in some families, it can lead to spoiled children.
On the other hand, I've noticed that Eastern European parenting seems quite strict. The preschool teachers we've had who come from Eastern Europe are very directive and have a hard time with our "child-centered" philosophy. My young neighbor friend's mother is from Croatia, and is extremely demanding of her son. If he's home three minutes late from visiting me, he's not allowed to see me the next day.
I understand that there is considerable variation within any given country, and that not all parents within a given country, state, or region of the world discipline or encourage their children in the same way. But do you think there are places where parenting is more or less strict than in others?
20 people like this
27 responses
@topffer (42156)
• France
27 Aug 18
France is the last country in Europe where parents can spank their children. We have been sentenced by Europe for that, but until now not a law could have been voted to suppress corporal punishment, because a majority of families wants to keep this possibility even if they do not use it.
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@snowy22315 (180699)
• United States
28 Aug 18
I think Indonesian parents are not nearly as indulgent as we are in the US. Sometimes children as young as 3 are expected to entertain themselves for hours without as much as a toy..doesn't happen here at least in" normal"l families.
2 people like this
@CaptAlbertWhisker (32697)
• Calgary, Alberta
27 Aug 18
Asia,Middle east and latin America.
Being Mixed Hispanic Asian, I got the worst of both worlds. LOL A typical tiger mom and a typical strict Christian Latino dad.
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@TheHorse (218828)
• Walnut Creek, California
27 Aug 18
Heh. When I work with poorer Latino families here in the US, I often notice a strong emphasis on family, which I like. But some of the dads wind up cheating on their partners. Feh. My middle-class Latino friends are pretty much "Americanized." Some don't even speak Spanish. Some of my Asian students at the College do feel a lot of pressure to "succeed." The Asian students who are still learning English often want the "right answer," even if there is no "right answer." This leads me to think that many Asian educational systems emphasize memorization over critical thinking, but I'm not sure if that's the case.
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@CaptAlbertWhisker (32697)
• Calgary, Alberta
27 Aug 18
@TheHorse My dad did cheat on my mom, I have 2 brothers in Venezuela because of it.
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@TheHorse (218828)
• Walnut Creek, California
27 Aug 18
@CaptAlbertWhisker Sigh. Sorry to hear that. It seems that there are people of all religions who sometimes forget the teachings of their religions when they're away from their church, synagogue, mosque, temple, etc.
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@TheHorse (218828)
• Walnut Creek, California
16 Sep 18
@nanette64 I think you can be "Liberal" and loving and still set BOUNDARIES. I think kids feel safer with clear boundaries.
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@moichan (666)
• Philippines
27 Aug 18
I guess Asia. In specific, our tradition here in the Philippines is to achieve something great with little support from lazy parents. Then afterwards, we have to take care of them until they die. That's how most parents think here. They thought that the kids are forever indebted to them for bringing them to this world no matter how crappy they were treated. Plus, there's a big percentage of the salary that should go to the parents if not 100%. This is quite normal in poor families. So most of us here goes to overseas so we can be great providers. Most of the people here stop working at a certain age and only relies on their kids. They make their age as an excuse and forever be a burden.
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@TheHorse (218828)
• Walnut Creek, California
27 Aug 18
Interesting perspective My best (older) Filipino friend came to the US and was successful as an Engineer with a Masters Degree. He periodically sends money and goods to his (poor farming) family in the Philippines. His parents are long gone.
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@toniganzon (72281)
• Philippines
28 Aug 18
here it's normal to hit a child when the child is being disobedient. Slapping a child's mouth when talking back to parents is quite common too. Is that strict enough?
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@toniganzon (72281)
• Philippines
28 Aug 18
@TheHorse Same here but people hardly make any report at all. Spare a rod, spoil a child. Very common in asian countries. That's why they don't like raising their children in the US, because they can't seem to discipline them there the way they do here.
@LadyDuck (471500)
• Switzerland
28 Aug 18
Swiss are pretty strict with their kids, more the German Swiss than French and Italian Swiss. My parents were strict and some Italian parents still are pretty strict, unfortunately not all. To encourage the kids to express themselves is good if you teach them that freedom stops where you are a nuisance for the others.
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@LadyDuck (471500)
• Switzerland
14 Sep 18
@TheHorse This is what a good parent is expected to know and this is why I always say that when a mom is expecting a kid, the parent should be encouraged to follow classes to know "how to be a good parent". I had no children, so I cannot reply to your question.
@db20747 (43440)
• Washington, District Of Columbia
13 Sep 18
@TheHorse Not by three minutes!!! But if they came home at 3:00, and I mean three o'clock the next day!!! They would hear my wrath!!!! That's what happened to me when I was a teenager!!!! Time just slipped me by!!! Didn't realize it was so late!!!! Was scared outta my mind 2 go home!!!!
1 person likes this
@anya12adwi (9360)
• India
28 Aug 18
it depends upon parents to parents.. it is a very subjective matter..
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@arunima25 (87806)
• Bangalore, India
28 Aug 18
It is quite disciplined and strict in Asian countries. That is how I feel.
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@arunima25 (87806)
• Bangalore, India
14 Sep 18
@TheHorse Asian want their children to be very grounded in their tradition and cultural values. I felt people in Western countries are liberal with that.
@maximax8 (31046)
• United Kingdom
27 Aug 18
I live in England. I think parents in Eastern Europe can be very strict with their children. You can notice that by seeing how the lady from Croatia is so very demanding with her son. We live in modern times where ladies in Saudi Arabia are now allowed to drive. I imagine parents there would be strict with their children.
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@TheHorse (218828)
• Walnut Creek, California
27 Aug 18
I would think so too. Among the upper-middle-class Middle Easterners in San Ramon (a wealthy community where I've had a couple of kid clients), I notice that the Middle Eastern families seem to be living almost a caricature of the American Dream, living in expensive houses, driving Teslas, getting their kids all of the best equipement for skateboarding or scootering, and having them start piano lessons and soccer at 5-years-old.
@just4him (317041)
• Green Bay, Wisconsin
30 Aug 18
@TheHorse There's a huge difference between the old-fashioned spanking I got as a kid and abuse. Parents should be allowed to discipline their kids without having the law breathe down their necks for doing so. We have a generation of entitleds out there who expect to be handed everything because their parents couldn't tell them 'no', and couldn't discipline them for acting out. This is my #1 pet peeve with the government.
@Shiva49 (26681)
• Singapore
28 Aug 18
Times have changed in Asian countries.
I recall my school days over fifty years ago when children were "seen but not heard".
Now, most young parents have only one or two children and that makes them being treasured.
I do see some micromanaging their children still - siva
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