Am I a piano player or not??

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So, I've played the piano since I was about 6. I'm 46 now. No. I do NOT play like a person with 40 years at it! Yes, I've put in my "ten thousand hours" (and then some), but I don't play nearly as much as I used to. What's worse is that I recently moved and my keyboard (a very nice, very expensive keyboard with 88 weighted keys and more bells and whistles than I will EVER need or use!) is still in storage. There was a time between about 18 and my late 30s where I matter-of-factly lived and observed that I never went a day without playing. It's now been four months. Blech. Yet the though of carrying that boulder up to the third floor to my one room abode overwhelms me. But this was my passion! I went to college to study music, for Pete's sake! Am I being...l...l...lazy??? Yuck. I used to believe that nothing could or should come between an artist and his/her passion. And I'm thwarted by a bad case if the "maybe tomorrow's"?? How ridiculous!