Am I a sadist??

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Okay, I admit it. When dramatic news hits, I get jacked! Good news, sure, but...yeah...bad, too! Like the weather. Since childhood, I've always hoped and cheered for the blizzard to wallop us. No, I wish no one harm, just - it's somehow exciting! The hurricane at the Florida pan handle, what's the name...Michael?...I got a little jolt when I heard the winds topped 150mph. AGAIN! I know it's somewhat contradictory or at least baffling, that I would get excited at the extreme, but shun any harm or tragedy. It's just so - out of the ordinary and maxed out! Like the Dow drop today. 830 points down! That excites me! Now, I suppose if I had skin in the stock game, my emotions would be more...what...adult? Am I the only one who gets this way? What about how traffic slows to a crawl to witness the carnage of a road accident? Is that the same phenomenon, or am I jaded?