Hard Time with this Season

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December and January have not been kind months to my family. Nothing crazy tragic has happened, but a lot of 'bad' has happened and I feel like this time of year more than anything triggers the memories. Everytime Christmast songs come on this radio and lights start going up, the feelings of sadness creep in. It started in 2004, I was trying to start a new tradition with my then boyfriend (now husband) to walk around an outdoor mall area in the country and we had jsut parked when I got the call from my dad that my grandfather had a massive stroke and wasn't expected to make it through the night. I dropped everything and drove the 2 hours to see him in the hospital, he hung on for several days and passed on the 23rd. It was the first grandparent I had lost. I still hate going to that mall. Then in 2006 my grandma started to get Jaundiced and feel sick. I remember how bad she looked that year, and on New Years eve she went in to the hospital, she never came home, we lost her on January 15th. And last year was the worst of all. on the 23rd my pup started to act strange. My crazoid who I wrote about on here ALL the time, and at 1pm on Christmas day we helped him cross the rainbow bridge. Not a day has gone by since that I haven't weped over the huge empty place in my heart that he left behind. It's a horrible memory. (and was teh first christmas in our new house) And don't get me wrong I LOVE Christmas. And I keep trying to make new traditions to take away from the bad ones but then something else happens. And this year, more than ever I am thankful for my 3 year old because she is excited for Christmas so it's making me go through the motions and get through this season. And this one will be the hardest yet.