Confused
By NerdGirlUSA
@starflye78 (260)
Daytona Beach, Florida
February 10, 2019 3:15pm CST
I shouldn't have said anything, I think he is now afraid to talk to me and the voices in his head are agitated. Perhaps it because they know if he is happy with me then he will not talk to them.
I have to fight the urge to seek him out, it will only make it harder on both of us.
Did you ever notice that people don't seem to want what could have been theirs until they throw it away?
She put him in the friendzone, and then when I showed interest she started playing with his emotions, almost as if to taunt us both.
Fact or fiction, love is never easy or simple.
Loving hard means hurting hard
Is it worth it in the end?
You'll never know unless you take the risk.
Jump.
I'm teetering on the edge of desire afraid to jump in myself, so maybe I am supposed to jump first.
Fear of rejection holds me back from this, so I wait for him to make the first move.
4 people like this
3 responses
@starflye78 (260)
• Daytona Beach, Florida
11 Feb 19
The more savage the pain, the greater the love. I choose to live my life without any gray, only black and white, all or nothing. I love with every part of me, and when it is lost I hurt with every part of me. Tis better to have loved and lost as the saying goes. I also think that happiness is made better by knowing pain.
1 person likes this
@starflye78 (260)
• Daytona Beach, Florida
11 Feb 19
@Nevena83 Nothing ventured,nothing gained, as the saying goes. And nothing is lost, things are just a little confusing right now, chaotic.
1 person likes this
@Nevena83 (65277)
• Serbia
11 Feb 19
@starflye78 Oh, I do not know what to say. It's very hard to lose love.
@ScribbledAdNauseum (104628)
• United States
10 Feb 19
Are the "voices" in is head actual people? I am confused because then you started talking about another girl.
All I can say is this. If he is unsure, it is better to leave him be. I won't fight over a man who won't stand up for himself and decide whether his happiness with me is more important or some other women who want to cause trouble.
@starflye78 (260)
• Daytona Beach, Florida
10 Feb 19
It is based on partial truth, and the person I am speaking of is a schizophrenic. But there is also another girl, who hurt him. He and I are just friends, I chose to write about it from the perspective of how it might be to be in a relationship with someone who has a mental disorder and conflicted emotions on love.
@ScribbledAdNauseum (104628)
• United States
11 Feb 19
@starflye78 Oh okay, thank you so much for clarifying for me.
I have family that has mental disorders. I loathe that word because it's such a broad term that doesn't really encompass all the different personalities that a person struggling with depression, anxiety, and other mental illnesses face each day.
I was also married to a man who was diagnosed with bipolar after we separated. His mother (according to him - and I had no reason to not believe him) believes it's my fault that he is bipolar. She thinks this because my family has a history of it and because I was struggling with depression while married to her son.
I feel sorry for her, to be honest. I do hope she's learned more about his illness and doesn't blame me - him - or anyone else for it.
@starflye78 (260)
• Daytona Beach, Florida
11 Feb 19
@ScribbledAdNauseum I am sorry that someone blamed you for his illness. I suppose it is easier to blame someone else than to face the fact that many times it is genetic. Deep down she probably blamed herself, and that is the hardest thing to cope with.
