The Three Bears (A Revised Story)

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Once upon a time there were three bears who lived in a quaint, little cabin. One day, Papa bear said, "Let's go into the woods and gather nuts and berries." Mama bear and Baby bear agreed. So they left the house without even locking it up. Along came a girl named Goldilocks. She saw three bowls of ice cream in the kitchen. First she tried Papa bear's bowl, "This bowl of ice cream is too nutty." Then she tried Mama bear's bowl, "This bowl of ice cream is too sweet." Finally, she tried Baby bear's bowl of ice cream. "Mm, love the texture. Bear claws ice cream is delicious." She ate up the entire bowl of ice cream then gave a gentle burp. Next, Goldilocks went into the family room and decided to watch cable TV. First, she tried Papa bear's favorite channel. "Yuck, Monster Trucks driven by ducks. Not for me. Next, she tried Mama bear's favorite channel. "Exercising with Polly Penguin and Alfred Polar Bear. They sure are clumsy. Definitely a loser." Finally, she tried Baby bear's favorite channel. "Wow, Super Squirrel is attacking Doc Fox. How cool is that?" She watched the entire show and then yawned. "I am so tired," she said. Goldilocks went into the bedroom. "Oh sweet, three beds. I'm going to try them all." First, she tried Papa bear's bed. "Sleeping on a bed of nail is definitely not for me. I don't need acupuncture." Next, she tried Mama bear's bed. "Ha, ha, a mattress that makes fart sounds. No thank you." Finally, she tried Baby bear's bed. "I just love this bed. It's so comfortable. Silk pillow cases are the best." Goldilocks fell fast asleep. Her snoring practically shook the house. The Three Bears returned home with tons of nuts and berries. "Baby bear cried, "Someone is in our house. Can't you hear that snoring. It's horrible." The Three Bears noticed that their ice cream were in puddles except for Baby bear's ice cream. It was gone! The Three Bears also discovered that their High Definition TV was on. "Now I know someone is here," said Baby bear. The Three Bears went into the bedroom. "Hey, what are you doing in my bed," shouted Baby Bear. Goldilocks woke up, "I'm sleeping. What does it look like I'm doing. No get lost and leave me alone." The Three Bears were very upset. Baby bear picked up her cell phone and called to speak to the Big Bad Wolf. "Come over quickly. We have dinner all ready for you." The Big Bad Wolf licked his chops and said, "I'll be right over. I was planning to go to Grandma's place, but I can skip that for another time." Goldilocks slept for three hours. When she woke up, she stared right into the eyes of the Big Bad Wolf. "Do you mind," said Goldilocks. "Quit your huffing and puffing. Here, try this inhaler." The Big Bad Wolf tried it. "Thanks, this really helps my asthma. I can't eat you now. You're too kind." The Big Bad Wolf told the Three Bears to find someone else to get Goldilocks to leave. Alas, the Three Bears decided to let Goldilocks stay for awhile. They had dinner together and afterwards played a game of LIar's Dice. They had a jolly good time. In the morning, Goldilocks said goodbye and left the Three Bears with a parting gift. "Here, this is a special lamp that I found along the side of a road. Some elf told me that it was magical. I just laughed and walked away. Anyway, enjoy the lamp. Now what was that elf's name. I think he went by the name Aladdin. Oh well, I trust that I'll see you again." Goldilocks left the Three Bears. As she looked back at the cabin, she noticed that it had changed into a palace. Goldilocks smiled and shook her head, "Oh those Three Bears, they are such great kidders." It would take several hours before Goldilocks reached the home of Benjamin Pig and his brick house. Ah, but that is a tale for another time.