The Funeral

By Jabo
@jaboUK (64354)
United Kingdom
February 27, 2019 2:03pm CST
Some of you know that my husband died recently, so I thought I would tell you about the funeral. It went very well indeed, as well as these things can. The church was reasonably full, though he had outlived most of his friends - he was 88. My sister and daughter did readings, and the priest read a lovely appreciation of his life. We had 'Lord of the Dance' and 'Bread of Heaven' as the hymns, and both were sung with gusto. I recited a poem I'd written about him and managed to get through it with only a slight falter towards the end. I even got applause and that's unusual in a church. The sun shone for the actual burial, then we had a gathering for friends and family in a local club. My son and daughter had put together a slide show of lots of happy family photographs and a soundtrack of all their dad's favourite music, and that played continuously. So all in all, it was as good a day as it could be - we celebrated his life, grateful that we'd had him for so long, rather than bemoaning the fact that he was no longer with us. I really am thankful for the 53 years we were married - compared to what some people get, that's riches indeed. Photo is of us as a family a long time ago. (I promise this is my last post on the subject of sickness and death).
73 people like this
60 responses
@DianneN (247186)
• United States
27 Feb 19
What a beautiful family photo. How wonderful that you celebrated his life in such a glorious way. You were lucky to have such a loving husband and family man for so many years. That in itself is worth treasuring along with all the happy memories you have shared. I hope you are doing as well as could be expected, Janet.
12 people like this
@jaboUK (64354)
• United Kingdom
27 Feb 19
Thank so much Dianne - I'm doing remarkably well, considering. As you say, I have lots of wonderful memories and no-one lives for ever. It was his time to go, but it will take some getting used to.
7 people like this
@jaboUK (64354)
• United Kingdom
28 Feb 19
@JWMILLER Yes, I agree. It would be different if the deceased is a child, but for someone who's had a good long life - that indeed can be celebrated.
1 person likes this
@DianneN (247186)
• United States
27 Feb 19
2 people like this
@GardenGerty (160612)
• United States
27 Feb 19
a life well lived and remembered. Hugs
8 people like this
@jaboUK (64354)
• United Kingdom
27 Feb 19
Thanks for the hugs Heather, I need them right now.
2 people like this
@amadeo (111938)
• United States
27 Feb 19
that is wonderful there.Nice service and thank you for the photo.so far I have outlive many of mine.Just one left. Who is going to be him or me.I know just joking.But why be serious.I know my time will be near.
4 people like this
@jaboUK (64354)
• United Kingdom
27 Feb 19
It's a sad fact that the older we get, the more of our friends die. Let's hope you and I still have a few more years.
2 people like this
@amadeo (111938)
• United States
27 Feb 19
@jaboUK yes and love to have a few more years.
1 person likes this
@JWMILLER (3275)
• Westmoreland, Tennessee
28 Feb 19
Both of my parents are gone, but my two sisters are lefw with me
1 person likes this
@just4him (317040)
• Green Bay, Wisconsin
27 Feb 19
Beautiful family picture. I'm glad it was a celebration of his life and not a moaning about it. I know both those songs but haven't heard Lord of the Dance in a long time. I think I'm going to find it and listen to it. I know you miss him and will for a long while to come.
5 people like this
@jaboUK (64354)
• United Kingdom
28 Feb 19
We chose Lord Of The Dance because it's up beat and cheerful, a lovely hymn. I certainly do miss him.
3 people like this
@jaboUK (64354)
• United Kingdom
28 Feb 19
@just4him That's good, it has a great tune.
1 person likes this
@just4him (317040)
• Green Bay, Wisconsin
28 Feb 19
@jaboUK I listened to it yesterday after I left a comment, and enjoyed it once again.
1 person likes this
@arunima25 (87770)
• Bangalore, India
28 Feb 19
You are lucky to have a wonderful husband for long 53 years. The family picture looks beautiful. I was touched by the way you have given a beautiful farewell to your wonderful company for decades. Cherish your wonderful memories. Take good care of yourself.
5 people like this
@jaboUK (64354)
• United Kingdom
28 Feb 19
Yes, I know I was lucky, thank you Arunima. I certainly will cherish my memories.
4 people like this
@arunima25 (87770)
• Bangalore, India
28 Feb 19
2 people like this
@CarolDM (203422)
• Nashville, Tennessee
27 Feb 19
My heart hurts for you. It sounds like a beautiful tribute to your loving husband of 53 years my friend. Such memories in this photo.
4 people like this
@jaboUK (64354)
• United Kingdom
27 Feb 19
Thank you Carol. I appreciate your sweet comments.
2 people like this
@CarolDM (203422)
• Nashville, Tennessee
27 Feb 19
@jaboUK You are most welcome, wish I could do more.
2 people like this
@JWMILLER (3275)
• Westmoreland, Tennessee
28 Feb 19
My God bless you in your loss
1 person likes this
@1hopefulman (45120)
• Canada
28 Feb 19
Thanks for sharing and I really loved the statement that "we celebrated his life, grateful that we'd had him for so long, rather than bemoaning the fact that he was no longer with us." Well said and nice to see the picture!
4 people like this
@jaboUK (64354)
• United Kingdom
28 Feb 19
Thank you Felix. We gave him a good send-off.
2 people like this
@allknowing (135943)
• India
28 Feb 19
Good this sad day turned out to be something that you will cherish for a long time to come
3 people like this
@jaboUK (64354)
• United Kingdom
28 Feb 19
That is so true - another good memory to add to all the rest.
1 person likes this
• Valdosta, Georgia
28 Feb 19
That is a beautiful photo of your family. I'm glad it went as well as possible but so sorry again for your loss. =( Share here as much as you want, losing someone you love is so hard and we are here to lean on if you need it.
3 people like this
@jaboUK (64354)
• United Kingdom
28 Feb 19
Thanks for those kind words Jennifer, I do appreciate them.
1 person likes this
• Preston, England
27 Feb 19
Sorry for your loss - glad the service went well. Well done on your poetry reading, which was very brave of you. Love the family photo
3 people like this
• Preston, England
28 Feb 19
@JWMILLER good choice of poem
@jaboUK (64354)
• United Kingdom
28 Feb 19
@JWMILLER That's a nice thing to have read for your mother.
1 person likes this
@sol_cee (38219)
• Philippines
28 Feb 19
I feel like I knew him from all the things you wrote about him. My heart goes out to you and your family Janet-san. Stay strong..
3 people like this
@jaboUK (64354)
• United Kingdom
28 Feb 19
Thanks my friend. I'm coping quite well, being strong on the outside anyway.
1 person likes this
@Shiva49 (26661)
• Singapore
28 Feb 19
You were always in my mind ever since you wrote about your husband's illness and later his passing. A life well loved and lived is one to rejoice although the parting leaves a void in the lives of those who spent all their times with the departed. In a way, I celebrated the life of my father when he passed away twenty-one years ago despite the overwhelming grief we all felt. He was a role model par excellence and true to his ideals. He was authentic; his "do what you say and say what you do" has rubbled on to me and stood me in good stead as I am in the evening of my own life now. The photo speaks for itself with love and happy family written all over it. I feel for your loss, dear Jabo - siva
3 people like this
@jaboUK (64354)
• United Kingdom
28 Feb 19
Thanks for those lovely comments Siva, you're very kind. Your father sounds like a wonderful man.
2 people like this
@Happy2BeMe (99380)
• Canada
27 Feb 19
What a beautiful picture. It sounds like he had a nice send off and one that he would be very proud of. You did well to read a poem but it was such a nice thing to do. I wish you and your family all the best as you move forward.
4 people like this
@jaboUK (64354)
• United Kingdom
27 Feb 19
Thank you for your good wishes Laurel, and for your sweet remarks.
1 person likes this
@Happy2BeMe (99380)
• Canada
27 Feb 19
@jaboUK You are welcome
1 person likes this
@janethwayne (5191)
• Philippines
28 Feb 19
To have good memories of being together is the most important to treasure.Nice family photo.
3 people like this
@jaboUK (64354)
• United Kingdom
28 Feb 19
Yes, I will always have those memories and carry them with me.
1 person likes this
@JWMILLER (3275)
• Westmoreland, Tennessee
28 Feb 19
Family memories and treasures are the best
1 person likes this
@much2say (55512)
• Los Angeles, California
27 Feb 19
What a wonderful celebration of life for your husband! 53 years of beautiful memories and love - a lifetime of riches indeed. I am sure all were touched by your poem. Many hugs to you and your family !
3 people like this
@jaboUK (64354)
• United Kingdom
27 Feb 19
Thanks for those kind words SmilePie, and for the hugs
2 people like this
• United States
28 Feb 19
Sorry to hear this Jabo RIP
2 people like this
• United States
28 Feb 19
@jaboUK Welcome Jabo. Condolences.
1 person likes this
@jaboUK (64354)
• United Kingdom
28 Feb 19
Thank you very much, I appreciate the visit
1 person likes this
@jaboUK (64354)
• United Kingdom
1 Mar 19
@TiarasOceanView Thank you.
1 person likes this
@sofssu (23662)
1 Mar 19
That is a lovely picture. Its really hard to say goodbye, but we really need to thank the Lord for life and fact that we were privileged to have shared our lives with our loved ones. Take care. I hope you are doing alright.
2 people like this
@sofssu (23662)
3 Mar 19
@jaboUK Keeping you in my prayers.
1 person likes this
@jaboUK (64354)
• United Kingdom
3 Mar 19
@sofssu Thank you
@jaboUK (64354)
• United Kingdom
1 Mar 19
Thanks sofs, I'm doing pretty well considering.
1 person likes this
• United States
28 Feb 19
I love your family photo I hope you find lots of comfort in the days to come knowing you were blessed with such a loving husband.
2 people like this
@jaboUK (64354)
• United Kingdom
28 Feb 19
Thank you Marilyn, I was very lucky to have had him for so long.
1 person likes this
• United States
28 Feb 19
1 person likes this
• Midland, Michigan
27 Feb 19
I have no problem if you needed to release by sharing of your last months together, Janet, if that's what you need. It's nice and much appreciated when people pay their respects at a church or hall especially when their peers are not in abundance. Are any of his siblings or cousins still around? I have to say you don't seem old enough to have been with him that many years.
2 people like this
• Midland, Michigan
28 Feb 19
@jaboUK that's nice when family from both sides are there.
1 person likes this
• Santiago, Chile
28 Feb 19
I am so sorry for you loss. It is never easy to deal with a loved one who's passed away! Stay strong, and may God give you guidance in this process!
2 people like this
@jaboUK (64354)
• United Kingdom
28 Feb 19
Thanks so much for your kind words, they are very helpful.
1 person likes this
• Santiago, Chile
28 Feb 19
@jaboUK Anytime.
1 person likes this