Do your friends ever frustrate you?
By The Horse
@TheHorse (218927)
Walnut Creek, California
March 4, 2019 10:35am CST
On Saturday, I went down to a music friend's house to "jam." He's one of the East Bay's best mandolin players, but he has a difficult personality, and has wound up kind of isolated from the bluegrass community.
He served me homemade tacos, we drank beer, he smoked a lot of pot, and we played music. So far so good. But he also talked incessantly and never listened to a single word I said. A non-stop talker is OK with me, as I can go into "active listening" mode and be silent.
But when I DO talk, I like to be heard. Anything I said would be interrupted, followed by a monologue about a distanty related experience from his own life. I survived by focusing on the music. He really is a good player.
That all happened right before I returned home to learn that the schizophrenic lady down stairs was burning things and writing threatening messages on our neighbors' doors.
I suppose that why I had a beer with breakfast Sunday (the next) morning. Anyway, do you have friends who frustrate you at times?
21 people like this
20 responses
@BelleStarr (61102)
• United States
4 Mar 19
Not so much friends as family, at least with friends you can choose to see them or not, family is not so easy to avoid.
5 people like this
@BelleStarr (61102)
• United States
5 Mar 19
@TheHorse So true, I guess I'm lucky to be talentless lol
@andriaperry (116936)
• Anniston, Alabama
4 Mar 19
Yes. Some of Tony`s family is like this without the pot. Its like they are trying to impress or be one better than you... I don`t know that is how I take those people, in a way like they do not feel like they are good enough and they are trying hard to prove it.
Friends, take all their flaws or walk away.
That lady needs to be reported to the police, she is off meds and dangerous, a vandal and all you have to tell them is you fear for your life, and the children around and they will come get her, take her in for evaluation. So you may get 5-7 days of peace.
3 people like this
@GardenGerty (160696)
• United States
5 Mar 19
@TheHorse So she must hurt herself or others before she gets some observation and help? Laws are strange where you are.
1 person likes this
@andriaperry (116936)
• Anniston, Alabama
5 Mar 19
@TheHorse well, in a way they are right. I know the landlord can`t do anything much, but he can give her a warning because she is disturbing the other tenants, after three complaints he can evict. You can ask him to contract her "emergency contact" number listed on the lease.
Contact the mental health center, tell them how she is off meds, out of control and you fear for your life and the children near by, you have to tell them about her violet outburst, beating on the doors, etc.. They will hook you to the state/county mental health attorney, he will write up a pick up and evaluation order and send it to the sheriff departments mental health officer.
There are laws to protect you and the lady, just gotta look for them.
@WiseGhots (14606)
•
4 Mar 19
@TheHorse poor listening skills is a very good example. 
2 people like this
@scarlet_woman (23463)
• United States
5 Mar 19
yea,most of them
days like that i'd rather stay home and work on the house.
days like that i'd rather stay home and work on the house.1 person likes this
@much2say (55665)
• Los Angeles, California
4 Mar 19
I have had many years of going into "active listening" and had to call it quits. I don't have that kind of time or patience anymore. I do have friends that still frustrate me this way . . . but I keep them around because of other redeeming qualities - but it still does drive me nuts.1 person likes this
@wolfgirl569 (106397)
• Marion, Ohio
4 Mar 19
Not too often thankfully. Have they done anything with the downstairs lady yet.
1 person likes this
@Fleura (30404)
• United Kingdom
4 Mar 19
Yes, I have a friend with two teenage daughters. Both she and the daughters suffer from depression, and when one of the girls is depressed, she lets them stay off school and they mostly just stay in bed texting. I know she (the mum) knows more about the experience of depression than I do, but now there is so much evidence that being out in the fresh air, exercise, and the natural world help to ease depression that I'm sure lying in a darkened room musing about how bad your life is is not the best thing to do! I just wish I could force them to get out and DO something active and fun! But all I can do is listen sympathetically when she tells me how much school the girls are missing.
1 person likes this
@janethwayne (5191)
• Philippines
5 Mar 19
Friends are mixed with good kind and not so what you will have to do is don't take them seriously if they are not good and just mess you around.
1 person likes this
@pumpkinjam (8767)
• United Kingdom
5 Mar 19
I don't have many people I would truly call friends but I do understand the frustration you had with your friend. My 'best friend' is similar - except that she doesn't really do anything interesting like play an instrument or share any hobbies with me! I admit that I can be talkative at times but that friend of mine, like yours, will talk incessantly and it is totally obvious that she does not listen to a word anyone else is saying. She has even been known to ask someone a question and answer it for them (even if she has no idea what the answer is)!
I find other friends frustrating in different ways. I don't spend much time with any friends but I find some can be quite tiring.
@GardenGerty (160696)
• United States
5 Mar 19
Yes, I have someone that I had thought of as a friend. She moved closer here, and I was in her town, she had me visit. I think it all seemed like it was talk about her. I think she is more of an acquaintance. She can stay on Facebook and be happy there bragging about everything she does.
@MarshaMusselman (38865)
• Midland, Michigan
4 Mar 19
I can see why the first guy is isolated from his music community, it's say pals but it doesn't sound like he has any or many of those. Before you get totally frustrated work his behaviour and with spending time with him you may want to try to get him to understand why he doesn't have many friends.
Although I do wonder whether he even cares about that. Does he at least play his mandolin while he's talking, if so then you may just need to listen to the music and not try to interact when he's talking. That may be hard to do with your background but better than getting frustrated.
Is this common with the schizo lady? Maybe she ran out of her meds.
@DocAndersen (54402)
• United States
5 Mar 19
First, I heard your point (listen!).
It can be hard sometimes being around people that are talented but difficult. It takes a good person to stay engaged with a person like that.
@Naturalkinks (48)
• Blue Island, Illinois
7 Mar 19
I'm like you. I can't stand it when Im actively listening to someone and when I go to talk their not listening or they want to start a task when I gave them my undivided division. My friends frustrate the hell out of me at time which is why Im present when I feel like it.
