Complicated Friendship

Me and my friend. She's on the right.
United States
March 12, 2019 3:58pm CST
I have a great friend that I met just a few months ago and we just seem go click so perfectly. Now, when you live on the road the way we do, we meet great people and build long lasting friendships. We know that eventually we will be heading out in different directions but we enjoy each other's company while we can. We know we will meet up again later in the year. What makes this friendship I have with this lady complicated is her husband. He controls where they go and who she hangs out with. We all camped together for almost 2 months before he started to feel insecure. He knows how close me and his wife are. She is a great person and makes friends easily. Everytime she gets close to people they are camping by, he takes her away saying he needs a sabbatical. He pushes people away because of his way of thinking. He believes himself to be above everyone elses intelligence. She wants to camp with me and my husband again before we leave this area for the summer, but he does not want to camp with us. She is feeling lonely and isolated because of him. I do plan to camp with her again whether or not he likes it because she needs a good friend. But I know that after a couple if days he will come up with another excuse to leave. I'm always going to be her friend and we do stay in constant contact online and on the phone. I just feel do bad for her. Has anyone else ever had a complicated friendship like this? I'm not sure what to do. I want to be there for her but not cause problems between them. I'm not the only friend she's had that he has an issue with (everyone sees through his bs), but I had been there for her everytime she has needed me.
3 people like this
3 responses
• Christiansted, Virgin Islands (U.S.)
12 Mar 19
I never had a friendship like that Her husband sounds like a control freak. I personally hate people that would control someone else's life. She has the right to be friends and hang our with whomever she pleases. Her hubby needs to back off and giver her some room. Keep being a good friend. She will need that support from someone she trusts.
2 people like this
• United States
13 Mar 19
Both my husband and I find it so disturbing that he is that controlling. He won't even allow her to drive the RV. He does all the driving. When we camped close by, anytime she had a doctor's appt. It needed to go to the store it was my husband and I that took her to run her errands. I've seen him talk down to her as if she was a child. It infuriated me. They've been together 10 years, so I am not the kind of person to encourage anyone to leave a relationship unless there is physical abuse. He doesn't abuse her physically, he just controls everything they do. He may appease her every now and then I feel to keep her from leaving. But she has mentioned to me many times that she is thinking about it.
• Christiansted, Virgin Islands (U.S.)
13 Mar 19
@MistyckMoon She should leave him for good. She doesn't deserve that kind of life
1 person likes this
@Hannihar (130218)
• Israel
13 Mar 19
@MistyckMoon Now, I see why it is complicated. That is very hard and I am sorry. He sounds very controlling and jealous because she can reach out to people while he cannot.
1 person likes this
@Hannihar (130218)
• Israel
14 Mar 19
@MistyckMoon I see that but also wonder if he had such a bad experience that he puts up a wall and just wants her in his life and so controls her. I am not saying he is right at all but I wonder what is really going on with him.
1 person likes this
• United States
14 Mar 19
@Hannihar I agree with you! I'm happy to report that they are camping by us again! I still treat him respectfully and embraced him when he decided to allow her to spend time with me. Hopefully when we go our different ways once we leave the heat if the desert, we will do so under better parting terms and because he feels insecure about our friendship. We know as nomads. Southern Arizona is where nomads of all kinds gather every winter. We will meet up again by late fall, early winter God willing.
1 person likes this
• United States
13 Mar 19
Yes! And everyone of her friends have really try to friend him as well. He just pushes people away. He honestly believes that his intelligence and connection to life is way above us mere mortals.
1 person likes this
@debjani1 (7202)
13 Mar 19
Long lasting friendship with me is only my sister. But complicated? No. In our friendship she understands me more than I understand her. Wish your friendship will last longer.
1 person likes this