Relationship loyalty, where do you draw the line?
By Leeanne beck
@Ellebee (6)
March 16, 2019 2:14am CST
Ive been with the same guy for 5 years, we have a beautiful little 2 year old girl, he also treats my now 8 year old son as his own child and loves him just as much as he would if he was his own.
In our relationship, when ever we walk by a beautiful female, I personally don't mind if he finds her attractive because it's human nature, although I would mind if he sought her out, became friends and started chatting all the time over social Media and what not, so I guess I care about the actions he decides to make upon that beauty. Anyway, lately I've noticed him talking online to a lot more females then usual, even adding more females on social media every so often... I can't help but be a bit snoopy because well, I am a female it is the way we are built! But he deletes his chats :/ I don't really know how to react or go about it, I usually ask him who this person is or that person, I've even asked him why he had to delete it, my head is going crazy right now I feel like I'm just not good enough for him anymore, I feel my self confidence lessen.
I'm just not sure what I should think of it, does anyone have any advice on the matter?
Oh! Also he gets slightly cranky when he notices I am talking to a guy over the internet, but I don't delete my chats because I could care less if he reads them Ugh love is one messed up feeling
Well I guess saying "one" doesn't cut it because the feeling of love has multiple feelings.. and the one I feel right now isn't the beauty of love it is a flaw.
7 people like this
8 responses
@pumpkinjam (8769)
• United Kingdom
16 Mar 19
In a relationship, you need to have trust, of course. You must have had a reason not to trust him in the first place otherwise (presumably) you wouldn't have been snooping in his messages. If he's chatting with old friends and/or the chat is harmless then he'd have no need to delete the messages.
If, say, it's coming up to your birthday and he's planning a surprise, then I could see that as a good reason to hide messages from you. Other than that, it does seem that you have every reason to be concerned. It seems like you have tried to address the matter. It is often a sign that someone is cheating when they get over-sensitive about what their partner is doing.
1 person likes this
@Ellebee (6)
•
17 Mar 19
I know he delete them because notifications pop up on the computer saying this person sent you a message but once I decide to look either there is one message or there is no message.
My birthday is far from close lol
So you think he might be because he gets over sensitive when I talk to guy friends online?
@mohit459 (12565)
• Haldwani, India
18 Mar 19
Understanding each other is the primary and most important thing in a relationship... I think so.
@janethwayne (5191)
• Philippines
16 Mar 19
Before I act the same way like you do but later on I just leave it if he add or talk to many.Because the more you stop or yell the more they will do so no point.Now,I just ask him how's that girl you are talking with are they fine.And we have no arguments already.
@isweartokira (3460)
• United States
20 Mar 19
hmm the fact that he deletes his messages to hide them from you when you don't feel the need to hide from him is a little suspicious. I would sit down with him and talk about it. the wondering is what's gonna eat you up inside. i would think he'd understand and let you see the messages so you know he has nothing to hide. sorry :(
@karakay (365)
• Philippines
16 Mar 19
Did you ask him why he's deleting the messages? How did you know he's deleting the messages? If he has nothing to hide, he shouldn't delete a message. Ask him bluntly why he's doing that. Ask him also if he still values your relationship and tell him what you noticed about him lately. Do not get mad or shout at him. Ask in a nice manner so as not to create tension. A good communication can make everything better.
1 person likes this
@amitkokiladitya (171927)
• Agra, India
16 Mar 19
Any relationship which is true should have a transperancy. If it is missing, something is definitely not good
@Aansh13 (11397)
• New Delhi, India
16 Mar 19
@Ellebee , we human beings are tend to be complicated because human emotions are messy, and on top of that love adds to that. Transparency is of utmost but sometimes its difficult to keep it because of the other person's nature. the way you have behaved, your partner might not be comfortable telling you things or opening up.
My only point in every relationship is try to be little more tolerant, that really helps the other one to find their comfort zone with us, once that attained everything works smoothly.
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Good Luck
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Good Luck