Dating Heartbreak
By Carolyn
@careohful (36)
Florence, South Carolina
March 31, 2019 11:22am CST
Yesterday morning a guy I've been going out on dates with broke it off with me. The reasons he gave were 1) I'm trying to leave and he will not do a long distance relationship and 2) our political views are vastly different. I'm still hurt by it as I was really beginning to like him, but I hope he finds who he's looking for.
But enough about that. Dating in general can be so exhausting. I've lost count on the amount of dates I've been on that leads to absolutely nothing. Having never been in a serious relationship or never having a boyfriend, I start to feel like there's something wrong with me! Before you say it, YES I know 24 is young. However the feeling something is wrong with me doesn't get any easier, especially seeing so many of my own friends getting married and settling down and I can't even get past a first date! I'm not even trying to get married right now, but it'd be nice to have a boyfriend or something serious. I feel like dating nowadays is so much harder. Like I feel like back in the 50s and 60s it couldn't have been this hard, could it? And it seems like a majority of people don't really try to make a relationship work anymore, because they can simply swipe right on a dating app and find someone better. Whereas you hear about so many couples who got together decades ago celebrating 30, 40, 50+ year anniversaries. I hope I can eventually be like my parents who are still happily together after almost 30 years.
But anyway I'd love to hear about your dating stories. Are you all single like me? Or if you found your spouse/SO, how did you meet and how long? Lastly, if you have any advice on dating or love, please feel free to give advice. I'd very much like to hear your stories.
12 people like this
10 responses
@moffittjc (121540)
• Gainesville, Florida
31 Mar 19
There's nothing wrong with you Carolyn. That's just the way dating is these days it seems. I think people put too much faith in dating apps, hoping that technology will find them the perfect mate. It would work if humans were robots, and not emotional creatures. Dating sites and apps haven't been able to master the emotional part of humans yet. And don't compare yourself to all your friends who may be getting married or having kids. There is no one right timeline for these things to happen. Everybody is on their own timeline. Focus on what's best for you, not what all your friends are doing. If you are planning on leaving soon, it may be hard for a guy to want to commit to a serious relationship. It's tough. But then that might just mean he's not the right guy for you. But don't worry, the right one will come along, probably when you're least expecting it.
2 people like this
@florelway (23284)
• Cagayan De Oro, Philippines
1 Apr 19
But one must make an effort to find it?
1 person likes this
@moffittjc (121540)
• Gainesville, Florida
2 Apr 19
@florelway Yes, sometimes you have to make an effort to find love. But sometimes, love finds you when you are least expecting it, or when you are not even trying to find it.
1 person likes this
@florelway (23284)
• Cagayan De Oro, Philippines
3 Apr 19
@moffittjc haha I waited, I try to find, but nothing came.
1 person likes this
@Hannihar (130218)
• Israel
1 Apr 19
@careohful
Don't be so hard on yourself. It sounds like you are not meeting the right men and the right one has not come along for you yet.
1 person likes this
@norcal (4889)
• Franklinton, North Carolina
4 Apr 19
Maybe he did you a favor by being honest about his feelings instead of dragging it out and letting you get even more attached. I have been married for 40 years. When I met my husband, I was with somebody else. My ex and my future husband worked together, so that's how we met.
My husband and I have completely opposite political views. It has caused quite a bit of strife between us. I don't think we will break up over it, but I think maybe if we had talked about this stuff more in the beginning maybe we wouldn't have gotten married. But then, politics were not so divisive back then.
As you said yourself, you are still very young. When the right person comes along, I think you will both do whatever it takes to be together.
@florelway (23284)
• Cagayan De Oro, Philippines
1 Apr 19
Well I've dated men when I was in my prime years, but it's not an assurance for marriage.
1 person likes this
@a_jerobon (2304)
• Eldoret, Kenya
1 Apr 19
There is absolutely nothing wrong with you. Keep waiting and someone who is good enough will come along. I am also single but I am turning 22 next month. I have never been in a serious relationship but I believe I will one day. Right now I just concentrate on myself, my studies and my goals.
@Aansh13 (11362)
• New Delhi, India
1 Apr 19
I met my husband through a dating sites... We had an affair for almost one and a half year after which we decided to get married. I know and can totally understand how dating can be totally exhausting... But don't lose hope... Good things do happen.
In fact my bestie also got married the same way.... She has a similar story as mine... Just her years are longer of courtship...
@isweartokira (3460)
• United States
1 Apr 19
I'm sorry, dating can be tough :(
I went through this same thing, I know what you mean about thinking something's wrong with you. Please know THERE IS NOTHING WRONG WITH YOU, you're doing what you can. It's hard to get that feeling out of your head but it will just stress you out more if you dwell on it, just know that everyone moves at their own pace. hell I didn't start a relationship until just last year (and I'm two years older than you).
I see all the girls in my family settling down/having kids and I feel like I'm wasting time. I'd feel depressed thinking I wasn't good enough for someone because I too couldn't get past the first date. Even though I'm in a relationship at the moment, I'm not super serious about it yet. we're still young and I want to enjoy that while I can...but in the back of my mind there's that voice that's telling me to be serious about the situation.
There's no real advice other than what everyone says. it'll happen when it happens. i always hated hearing it but it's true. I hope you find someone that makes you happy soon, you seem like you deserve it :)
