When wife puts kids on a red carpet...

You cannot allow your depression to take over your life and eat you alive. What your wife is doing is totally wrong and it shouldn't be allowed to continue. With her allowing this bad behavior she is giving them the green light to go ahead to do whatever they desire to do. She may soon find that the "children" are committing crimes and ending up in jail for doing any number of criminal acts. Is she going to place the blame on you for what the children do wrong? Who is the "bread winner" in the family? I'm assuming that the children are NOT working full time to support the family. I also am assuming that the children don't have chores and other obligations around the house so they have the simple and easy life. Is the 17 yo still in school? As soon as he graduates he should be told he needs to get a job. Your wife, in this case, needs to be told to shut up and butt out. The same goes for each of the girls too when they graduate from school. Once the children finish school you have an opportunity to make a choice. You are living in the United States, and you can decide if you want to stay in a situation that may be near impossible to change. Inform your wife that unless she changes her behavior towards you she is working her way towards a divorce. You will no longer stand being treated like a piece of trash. You are an intelligent human being and deserve to be treated much better than the way you are being treated right now. Instead of when she belittles you don't answer with "You're right", answer her with a reply of "We are going to discuss how this happened and you are going to treat me with proper respect". Also you are going to state that from now on your son is NOT going to run the house, it is not his right or responsibility and he is not old enough or experienced enough to be doing such a thing. You are the bread winner of the family and as the bread winner you have a right to run YOUR household and it is way over due that your feelings are taken into consideration too. If they can't live with giving you the respect that you deserve, then you will be more than happy to allow them to live in their own little empire without you...and you will find your own home where you will be treated with respect and consideration. There is a huge problem with a family that is so wrapped up in themselves that they don't give a damned that they are driving the head of the family into a depression that he shouldn't be experiencing.

The way you said it ,the respect is gone from you're wife but their are you're family show to them you are the head and let them listen to you,sit down and have a heart to heart open conversation don't let anger interfere on that conversation.

I think that no matter what achievements you children have their respect for you as their father should remain intact. You may not be the perfect father that they would want but at least the respect should still be intact. With your wife maybe you should talk it out privately the issues you two are dealing with.

Your sons behavior is normal considering the circumstances under which hes been raised. If you don't stand up for youself this vicious cycle will continue and get worse

This is sad, I am really sorry that you are going through this. Please don't give up and let depression take over your life. You might need to visit a therapist with your wife so that you can talk this out in an environment that she can listen to you.

Thats a common problem. I think you should talk to them alone. Try to understand them. They are from this generation. Try to be their friend only. Tell your wife not to underestimate you in front of the children.

Have a man to man talk with your son and say how much you love his mother and trying to make it work with her. If your son disrespects you, talk it out with your wife and ask her that you are willing to improve in your weak areas and prove the talk..

Being a friend alone or a head alone will never help, there has to be a balance. But I believe, things have been this way now for a longer time so change can not happen suddenly. Before talking to son, talk to your wife, she needs to understand and also needs to convey to son as well, belittling in front of him will not help. We all make mistakes, we all are flawed, some succeed soon, some don't or some later, but that's not the point to judge people. Wishing you more strength!!!