Busted!
By The Horse
@TheHorse (220274)
Walnut Creek, California
April 28, 2019 11:00am CST
I heard commotion on my balcony this morning and found this thief eating the bird seed I had set out for my unidentified peeping bird friend. (She DID come back, or maybe it was one of her cousins.)
In my best Squirrel, I tried to say "Get off my lawn!" but because I hadn't had any coffee yet, and was still half-asleep, it came out as a weak "You're welcome."
When I repeated myself with more assertion, the squirrel did a 4 foot jump to the redwood tree next to my balcony, climbed up a couple of feet, and looked at me. I managed to say (in Squirrel) "Just don't eat my plants."
I'll have to check and make sure they're OK.
22 people like this
21 responses
@JohnRoberts (109846)
• Los Angeles, California
28 Apr 19
Those wascally skwirrels.
2 people like this
@wolfgirl569 (108197)
• Marion, Ohio
29 Apr 19
@TheHorse Thats good. Maybe you need to do what JJ has been 
1 person likes this
@TheHorse (220274)
• Walnut Creek, California
29 Apr 19
@wolfgirl569 I've never b*tch-slapped a squirrel.
1 person likes this
@much2say (56088)
• Los Angeles, California
29 Apr 19
@TheHorse I just found out Squirrel is actually a programming language. Too complicated for me 
- squirrels must be super intelligent 
.
- squirrels must be super intelligent .
Squirrel is a high level imperative, object-oriented programming language, designed to be a light-weight scripting language that fits in the size, memory bandwidth, and real-time requirements of applications like video games.
1 person likes this
. You really need Doodles to help you.
@dgobucks226 (35744)
•
30 Apr 19
Those squirrels are determined little buggers! And chipmunks can be a close second...
1 person likes this
@BarBaraPrz (47677)
• St. Catharines, Ontario
28 Apr 19
Do you even have a lawn?
1 person likes this
@BarBaraPrz (47677)
• St. Catharines, Ontario
28 Apr 19
@TheHorse But the squirrel was on your balcony. You should be saying "Get off my balcony!"
1 person likes this
@TheHorse (220274)
• Walnut Creek, California
29 Apr 19
@BarBaraPrz Then I wouldn't be quoting a good movie!
1 person likes this
@jobelbojel (36025)
• Philippines
28 Apr 19
Let us see if it will take your warning.
1 person likes this
@FourWalls (69033)
• United States
29 Apr 19
I’ve noticed that the biggest fans of my bird seed are squirrels, and the biggest fans of my squirrel food are birds. I just put it all out, and the critters live in relative harmony as they enjoy breakfast.
1 person likes this
@xander6464 (44421)
• Wapello, Iowa
29 Apr 19
Lots of people seem to have this squirrel/birdfeeder problem...If your method works, you'll make a fortune.
1 person likes this
@xander6464 (44421)
• Wapello, Iowa
29 Apr 19
@TheHorse I wonder why they don't use electricity...Electrify the pole the same as you would an electric fence, not enough to injure animals or kids but enough to be a deterrent.
@andriaperry (117146)
• Anniston, Alabama
28 Apr 19
They will eat them!
Is that corn in that small pot?
1 person likes this
@jvicentevalera (13671)
• Santiago, Chile
28 Apr 19
They used to be my favourite animal as a pet, but then I realize they're a little wild so no need to risk myself to have any of them. They're cute though!
1 person likes this
@jvicentevalera (13671)
• Santiago, Chile
29 Apr 19
@TheHorse Yeah man, all in life has its costs, right?
@nonersays (3335)
• United States
30 Apr 19
My mother in law puts baby oil on the pole her bird feeder is on to keep the critters out. It works...but must be reapplied fairly often.
I've also seen a squirrel run away with a whole pepper from her garden, and they get in her tomato plants too.
@DaddyEvil (137602)
• United States
4 Jul 19
LMFAO! How sure are you that he could understand anything you were telling him, pony? (From what little we can see of his expression, it looks like he might be getting ready to hold up a finger and wave bye at you! *really laughing out loud!*)
I just hope you weren't using that little guy as a scapegoat after you did some damage to your plants! 
@porwest (92624)
• United States
1 May 19
Where I live there are so many squirrels I have given up chasing them away. Now I feed them. lol. THAT being said, I am a former exterminator, and still have all of my traps. If only my wife would allow me to cook them, we might have meals for years available just in the back yard.
