I did something odd last night at our music gig

@TheHorse (220356)
Walnut Creek, California
June 29, 2019 6:59pm CST
I believe I've mentioned in previous posts that I've had some issues with the band leader in my rock 'n roll band that played last night at the Clayton Club. He has said inappropriate things to me, never thanked me for bringing beer to practices, and has deductied money from our gig earnings without telling us he was going to do so. After our last two night run at the Clayton Club, I asked him how much we made in tips. His answer: "Not enough to be concerned about." I can only conclude that he kept the money. He's also not that good of a singer. Last night, after a great gig (we had people dancing, buying beer, and paying us compliments all night long), is when I did something that's odd for me: I went to the tip jar and counted the money therein. I announced loudly, so all of my mates could hear it: "Hey, we made an extra $55 in tips!" I have never done anything like that before. I ALWAYS trust band leaders to pay band mates what they've earned, and it has never even occurred to me that someone would "short" the people in their bands. I'm going to do the same thing tonight. Do you have trust issues? Or do you generally assume honesty, as I do (or have done for my first six decades of life)?
26 people like this
23 responses
@moffittjc (121736)
• Gainesville, Florida
30 Jun 19
It was smart of you to check the tip jar. But unless he is an idiot, he's going to know you are checking up on the tips at the end of the night. I would get one of those little portable cameras and indiscriminately set it up to record the tip jar throughout the night. You never know who's hand might be dipping in that thing!
2 people like this
@moffittjc (121736)
• Gainesville, Florida
30 Jun 19
@TheHorse It's funny that you mention how nice the bikers and tattoo freaks are. I have found the same to be true here. They usually end up being the nicest guys around. I never have any fear when I'm around bikers, as I feel like they would have my back if I ever got myself into trouble.
1 person likes this
@TheHorse (220356)
• Walnut Creek, California
30 Jun 19
For the most part, people around here are trustworthy. Even the rough "cowboys" the bikers, and the tattoed 20-somethings at last night's gig were nice people. I was surprised by my bandmate's actions a month ago.
1 person likes this
@LadyDuck (472087)
• Switzerland
30 Jun 19
I am suspicious like a cat, but I usually trust people with whom I work. Continue to count the tips.
1 person likes this
@LadyDuck (472087)
• Switzerland
1 Jul 19
@TheHorse Your "leader" is not honest and correct, you all play together, the tips must be equally shared.
1 person likes this
@TheHorse (220356)
• Walnut Creek, California
1 Jul 19
@LadyDuck I think we meet Wednesday. We'll see what happens.
1 person likes this
@TheHorse (220356)
• Walnut Creek, California
30 Jun 19
Heh. I did. Last night was more lightly attended, but we still made $20 more in tips. That makes a total of $75, I believe. I hope we see the money.
1 person likes this
@BelleStarr (61101)
• United States
30 Jun 19
His conduct has been pretty shady up til now so I wouldn't trust him at all and frankly I am not sure I could work with him under the circumstances.
1 person likes this
@BelleStarr (61101)
• United States
30 Jun 19
@TheHorse Can't you ditch the bad guy and replace him?
1 person likes this
@BelleStarr (61101)
• United States
30 Jun 19
@TheHorse Well then keep your eye on the tip jar, obviously he is a thief and has no qualms about stealing from his bandmates. It is how we act in the small things that defines our character. He gets an F-
1 person likes this
@TheHorse (220356)
• Walnut Creek, California
30 Jun 19
@BelleStarr He's the lead singer and the guy who pounds the pavement (or internet) getting gigs.
1 person likes this
@JudyEv (342257)
• Rockingham, Australia
30 Jun 19
Good for you. A very clever way to stop the leader short-changing you all. Have a great night tonight.
1 person likes this
@TheHorse (220356)
• Walnut Creek, California
30 Jun 19
Thank you. Has your bass player son ever experienced such a thing? I'm sure, at some point in his career, he's played for drinks, tips, dinner and a few dollars.
1 person likes this
@JudyEv (342257)
• Rockingham, Australia
30 Jun 19
@TheHorse He used to busk and did really well sometimes. I don't know about tips and if he gets a share or not. I'll ask him one day.
1 person likes this
@TheHorse (220356)
• Walnut Creek, California
30 Jun 19
@JudyEv I've done my share of busking--mostly in my Santa Barbara days. I actually miss those days.
1 person likes this
@CarolDM (203422)
• Nashville, Tennessee
30 Jun 19
It depends on who it is, with some I will always have trust issues. You do what you have to do. Enjoy the night!
1 person likes this
@CarolDM (203422)
• Nashville, Tennessee
30 Jun 19
@TheHorse I hope you enjoyed your night.
1 person likes this
@TheHorse (220356)
• Walnut Creek, California
30 Jun 19
@CarolDM It was fun. Not as crowded as the night before, but still fun.
1 person likes this
@CarolDM (203422)
• Nashville, Tennessee
30 Jun 19
@TheHorse That is great to hear.
1 person likes this
@DocAndersen (54402)
• United States
30 Jun 19
It shoulds pretty justified to me, over time trust erodes or grows.
1 person likes this
@TheHorse (220356)
• Walnut Creek, California
30 Jun 19
Yep. I think I'll remain trusting in general. But I'll have to keep an eye on this fella.
1 person likes this
@DocAndersen (54402)
• United States
30 Jun 19
@TheHorse I think you do, there is nothing sadder than trusting someone and having them let you down. If you are like me, you will eventually give this person a second chance. My new rule is two chances, after that well I don't know i haven't trusted anyone that blew me up twice again.
@BarBaraPrz (47693)
• St. Catharines, Ontario
30 Jun 19
Make sure you get to the tip jar before he does, now that he knows you will be checking up on him.
1 person likes this
@TheHorse (220356)
• Walnut Creek, California
30 Jun 19
Heh heh. I plan to.
1 person likes this
@BarBaraPrz (47693)
• St. Catharines, Ontario
30 Jun 19
@FourWalls (69096)
• United States
30 Jun 19
It’s terribly sad that you have to endure that type of behavior just to do something you love (make music).
1 person likes this
@TheHorse (220356)
• Walnut Creek, California
30 Jun 19
There are all kinds out there.
1 person likes this
@rakski (126157)
• Philippines
30 Jun 19
well, that is a good idea, at least the band members knows that you are making tips instead of just knowing that it was not enough
1 person likes this
@TheHorse (220356)
• Walnut Creek, California
30 Jun 19
Our lead singer is a slightly odd bird. I appreciate the fact that he has no fear. A Jewish person might call it "chutzpah," which has subtle connotations.
1 person likes this
@Hannihar (130213)
• Israel
30 Jun 19
@TheHorse Good for you. That was good what you did. You needed to do it. He has no right stealing your money. Can't he be fired?
1 person likes this
@TheHorse (220356)
• Walnut Creek, California
30 Jun 19
He's the band leader and lead vocalist. We could be a decent band without him, but he's the organizer, and he's really bold about singing.
@janethwayne (5191)
• Philippines
30 Jun 19
That's very bad of your other leader to act like that.He should be fair to give and share what you all got as entertainers.
1 person likes this
@TheHorse (220356)
• Walnut Creek, California
30 Jun 19
Yes, it's an odd situation. Actually, I've noticed that band "leaders" can be "divas," or whatever the proper term is. They can be too bossy and not lighten up. One band leader kept all of our gig money for several months for some "project" she had in mind. Finally we spoke up and got paid. I'd forgotten about that.
@arunima25 (87854)
• Bangalore, India
30 Jun 19
I appreciate what you did. I would have done the same if I had doubts. Better to clarify and sort out things.
1 person likes this
@TheHorse (220356)
• Walnut Creek, California
30 Jun 19
I kept my eye on things again last night.
1 person likes this
@arunima25 (87854)
• Bangalore, India
5 Jul 19
@Starkinds (32712)
• India
30 Jun 19
Hi good morning
1 person likes this
@TheHorse (220356)
• Walnut Creek, California
30 Jun 19
Good morning to you as well.
@ChengGe (49)
30 Jun 19
there are always some bad guys~
1 person likes this
@TheHorse (220356)
• Walnut Creek, California
30 Jun 19
True. But no human is all good or all evil. At least I hope that's the case.
1 Jul 19
@TheHorse we have a proverb"???????,???????", it means "Habour no ill intention against others, but never relax vigilance against evil-doers"(actually i searched how to say it in English~)
• United States
30 Jun 19
i'd do the same thing.here you have the added problem of doormen/owners lying about the headcount to look out for. i have clear and definite trust issues.i've met too many shifty people in my life.
@vandana7 (100616)
• India
7 Sep 19
So many of the world's problems would be eliminated if people were fair to one another, isn't it? No heart burn. No hatred. No harsh words. No blood pressure. No legal hassles.
@DWDavis (25805)
• United States
1 Jul 19
I tend to follow the Reagan principal when it comes to such things - "Trust but verify." It sounds like you are doing exactly that.
@andriaperry (117157)
• Anniston, Alabama
30 Jun 19
I do trust to much, but when I get that little inkling that something is off, I then will investigate, as you did. I think you did right! he has been ripping all of you off.
@RubyHawk (99405)
• Atlanta, Georgia
30 Jun 19
I do assume honesty but I keep my eyes open.Looks like you had better watch this dishonest fellow.
1 Jul 19
I hate that a lot. We used to have something like this too, and the person would treat us all using this money. Always giving presents and the likes. I find that disgusting.