Our Son is Divorcing his Wife

@DianneN (247186)
United States
July 20, 2019 8:56am CST
It’s so difficult to write about this, but it may prove cathartic for me. Our younger son has been married 1 year and 9 months. He has known his wife for 7 years. They were very in love, but somehow things went wrong. He found out that she has been cheating 6 months into their marriage, not physically, but through sexting with someone she worked with years ago. She cried and promised to break it off. A couple of weeks ago, he discovered she was doing it again with the same man. Our son asked his wife if she still loved him and she told him that she did. He asked her if she would stop sexting that guy, and she told him that she would not. He told her to pack a bag, get out of his house, and to take her cat with her. They had been to marriage counseling, but it did no good. He filed for divorce and that’s it. Of course he is heartbroken, angry, and upset, but his family, friends, friends of ours, and coworkers are there for him. That’s the main reason you haven’t seen much of me. However, both my husband and I have continued with our life. It’s good for the soul.
77 people like this
76 responses
@JohnRoberts (109846)
• Los Angeles, California
20 Jul 19
This sexting thing is something tech has brought upon the world. It taps into something thinking it's "okay" because you aren't physically there. Sounds like she is an "addict" on this and needs therapy. Sad for your son and family.
16 people like this
@DianneN (247186)
• United States
20 Jul 19
You are correct! It's still a form of cheating, and she happened to be a cheater and a liar as well. She's going to be very surprised at what she is giving up. He won't take her back. Thank you, John.
11 people like this
@DianneN (247186)
• United States
20 Jul 19
@JohnRoberts Thanks, John. That's exactly what we have been telling him.
9 people like this
@JohnRoberts (109846)
• Los Angeles, California
20 Jul 19
@DianneN Time will heal your son and the "right one" will come along. He can concentrate on himself and work.
9 people like this
@just4him (317089)
• Green Bay, Wisconsin
20 Jul 19
I'm so sorry! I can imagine his anger and rightly so. My prayers are with you, and now I know why you've been on my heart for a while now. You and your family are never far from my thoughts and prayers. Okay, I'm crying. Feel my hug for you. I can't imagine how difficult it was to write this horrible news. I'm so sorry!
10 people like this
@DianneN (247186)
• United States
20 Jul 19
Thank you, Valerie. He's here right now. He came to talk with us and will be here again tomorrow. He just played with Doodles and is busy throwing anything having to do with her in the trash. It's tough, but we will all get through this together. I feel your hug and appreciate it.
9 people like this
@just4him (317089)
• Green Bay, Wisconsin
20 Jul 19
@DianneN Hug him for me. You don't need to tell him I'm praying for him as he doesn't know me, but I am and always will pray for you and your family. You're part of me, even though I have never met you. Your concerns are my concerns. I hurt when you hurt and my heart is breaking. If they had a tear emoji, I'd put that here too.
7 people like this
@Elizaby (6902)
• Pensacola, Florida
20 Jul 19
@jDianneN Same here and so glad you were up and not here in Florida which would have may things wose for both of you. I thank God that if this was to be that HE timed it for you to be thee to put and keep your son in your arms as he walks through this. Hugs of comfort from me too
4 people like this
@flapiz (23148)
• United Kingdom
20 Jul 19
That sounds really sad. But I do admire your son’s decision to not take such disrespect in the marriage. He knows he’s worth more. Hopefully he will recover stronger with all the support he’s getting.
4 people like this
@flapiz (23148)
• United Kingdom
20 Jul 19
@DianneN It’s a plethora of problems. It’s not just cheating, it’s lying and disrespect. And since she can’t stop doing it, I believe she’s pathologically obsessed with it. Your son will get through this I strongly believe. Specially because in this situation he is a victim. He’s done his best to make the marriage work but it needs to people to put in an effort. I think he gave her enough chance to reform.
1 person likes this
@DianneN (247186)
• United States
20 Jul 19
@flapiz You are absolutely right. He did give her second chances and took her to marriage counseling. He is done with her, and she will soon realize the error of her ways. It will be too late for her. Many, many thanks.
2 people like this
@DianneN (247186)
• United States
20 Jul 19
Thank you so much. Once a cheater, always a cheater, so we support our son 100%. He's very emotional now, but he WILL get through this.
3 people like this
@DWDavis (25805)
• United States
20 Jul 19
I am shocked and saddened to learn of this. I remember how happy you were when they got married and started their life together. I will pray for your son, his ex - she may need it most, and your family.
5 people like this
@DianneN (247186)
• United States
20 Jul 19
Thanks for your prayers. We are still all rather shocked and numb right now. For some, happiness can be fleeting, but he's a strong young man with a good head on his shoulders. We know he will get through this mess after his grieving period.
4 people like this
• United States
20 Jul 19
I'm so sorry to hear about this Dianne. It's not easy seeing your sons marriage dissolve but it's probably better now than years down the road with children involved. All we want for our children is for them to be happy. I was wondering what you've been up to .
9 people like this
• United States
20 Jul 19
@DianneN He will get through it especially with the love and support of family. I know I've mentioned my daughter went through a divorce recently but she's strong and it was the best decision for her. I'm sure your son has many happy years ahead and hopefully he'll find someone who appreciates him.
5 people like this
@DianneN (247186)
• United States
20 Jul 19
@Marilynda1225 I didn't know your daughter went through a divorce and I'm truly sorry. It's good that she made the best decision for her. We feel our son did the right thing, too.
3 people like this
@DianneN (247186)
• United States
20 Jul 19
Thank you, Marilyn and you are absolutely right. I've been dealing with this for the last two weeks or so. Most of our time has been seeing our son, talking to him, hugging him, texting with him, talking to him on the phone, talking with relatives - 2 hours just the other day with one sis-in-law and 4 hours with my brother, and of course hours with our friends. He WILL get through this.
4 people like this
@andriaperry (116936)
• Anniston, Alabama
20 Jul 19
I knew something was wrong, you just disappeared. Good for him to give her a chance, she blew it and he walked away. Although his heart is broken his mind was not.
5 people like this
@DianneN (247186)
• United States
20 Jul 19
Yes to all of the above. Thank you!
3 people like this
• United States
20 Jul 19
Wow, that really took me by surprise. Sorry that this is happening for you and your family. When our children find love we are happy for them and wish them a lifetime of joy together. Sometimes that world crumbles and we are dumbfounded. We are there to support them and help them to go on. It is all we can do. Sending you a big hug lady.
3 people like this
@DianneN (247186)
• United States
20 Jul 19
Awww, thank you! I appreciate your kind words. It took us by surprise, too. We last saw her at my birthday dinner one month ago today. They seemed happy and just fine, but one never knows what goes on behind closed doors. All we want is for him to be happy and get on with his life. With all the love and support he has, he will have to get through his own personal grieving process.
3 people like this
• United States
21 Jul 19
@DianneN your son will be fine. You raised him right lady. He will find love again and hopefully it will be true and last a lifetime.
1 person likes this
@DianneN (247186)
• United States
21 Jul 19
@ElusiveButterfly Thank you! I must agree.
1 person likes this
@1hopefulman (45120)
• Canada
20 Jul 19
I'm so sorry to hear that and I cry with you! May God give all concerned strength and courage!
3 people like this
@1hopefulman (45120)
• Canada
20 Jul 19
@DianneN Yes, He will give you the strength and you and your son have no choice but to move on.
2 people like this
@DianneN (247186)
• United States
20 Jul 19
Thanks so much, Felix. He will get us all through this sooner or later.
2 people like this
@much2say (55669)
• Los Angeles, California
20 Jul 19
Oh my gosh - I am so sorry to hear this - totally did not see this coming. There is much loving support from his family and friends and you will all help him get through this rough time. I can only imagine all the emotions and heart ache your son is going through - but he is a good guy and will be able to move forward from this. Lots of love and hugs going out to you all . . . .
3 people like this
@much2say (55669)
• Los Angeles, California
21 Jul 19
@DianneN Reading all the comments just now, you also have a lot of love and support here . . . it helps to talk and get things off your shoulder. I'm glad you have open communication with your son and that his family has his back. Still hard to believe this woman did what she did. Thankfully this was found out sooner than later and as others have said that no children are involved. You all are in my thoughts as he continues to move forward from this .
1 person likes this
@DianneN (247186)
• United States
20 Jul 19
Thank you. He just came over to talk. We will all get through this sooner or later.
3 people like this
@DianneN (247186)
• United States
22 Jul 19
@much2say Thanks so much for saying all that. It's important to get these things off one's chest. We spent the afternoon with our son and went out to lunch. His attitude is so much better and we all shared lots of laughs - a very good sign.
• United States
20 Jul 19
Oh wow! Despite what she did, your son was kind enough to give her another chance. Now, it will be her lost! It will take some time for your son, but I'm glad everyone is there for him. Virtual hugs for you and your family He will get through this hard time, all of you.
4 people like this
• United States
22 Jul 19
@DianneN I hope all will be a smooth process and not too many complications!
1 person likes this
@DianneN (247186)
• United States
21 Jul 19
Thanks for your kind words, Michelle. It will take time for him, but I know he will get through this and put it behind him. Waiting to see what she wants from the settlement now.
2 people like this
@DianneN (247186)
• United States
22 Jul 19
@infatuatedbby Thanks, Michele. That's what we are hoping for. We shall know soon enough.
1 person likes this
@wolfgirl569 (106425)
• Marion, Ohio
20 Jul 19
Its always sad when a marriage breaks up.
4 people like this
@DianneN (247186)
• United States
20 Jul 19
We just want him to be happy.
3 people like this
@wolfgirl569 (106425)
• Marion, Ohio
20 Jul 19
@DianneN In time he hopefully will be again. It is always hard at first.
2 people like this
@DianneN (247186)
• United States
20 Jul 19
@wolfgirl569 Time is all he needs. He knows that, but it's still so difficult for him. We shall see how good his lawyer is after all is said and done.
3 people like this
@NJChicaa (119651)
• United States
20 Jul 19
I'm so sorry to hear this
4 people like this
@DianneN (247186)
• United States
20 Jul 19
So are we, and thank you. I'm sure you know just what he's going through.
2 people like this
@Sojourn (13837)
• India
20 Jul 19
Feeling sorry for the man. He looks like a good person. The wife was taking advantage of his goodness.
3 people like this
@DianneN (247186)
• United States
20 Jul 19
Thank you. He was too good to her, and she did take advantage of his goodness. Karma will get her.
3 people like this
@DocAndersen (54402)
• United States
20 Jul 19
well the bad news is it has happened. He will survive. I know, having been divorced many years ago, my life is so much better now. My wife, my best friend, and I were ready for a solid relationship!
4 people like this
@DianneN (247186)
• United States
20 Jul 19
I appreciate your kind words. We are hoping he finds the same happiness as you. Right now, it's very tough for him.
3 people like this
@DianneN (247186)
• United States
24 Jul 19
@DocAndersen Thank you
1 person likes this
@DocAndersen (54402)
• United States
20 Jul 19
@DianneN i remember, it is a dark and difficult time period. luckily he is blessed with a caring mom. The best thing my mom did was be there for me (my dad as well)
2 people like this
@snowy22315 (180870)
• United States
20 Jul 19
Oh your poor son, he seems like a real sweetheart too. He didn't deserve it I am sure. You are right, something went very wrong there. I mean who would trade a real marriage for "sexting" anyway? She sounds like she has a screw loose.
2 people like this
@snowy22315 (180870)
• United States
20 Jul 19
@DianneN Yes, I am sure she will live to regret her actions.
1 person likes this
@DianneN (247186)
• United States
20 Jul 19
You are right on all counts. Thank you! She will learn very soon what she has lost.
1 person likes this
@dodo19 (47317)
• Beaconsfield, Quebec
20 Jul 19
I'm so sorry to hear about this. It must be really hard.
2 people like this
@dodo19 (47317)
• Beaconsfield, Quebec
20 Jul 19
@DianneN I can imagine. At least he has support.
2 people like this
@DianneN (247186)
• United States
20 Jul 19
It is hard for all of us.
2 people like this
@FourWalls (68121)
• United States
20 Jul 19
You know that if they meet somewhere they aren’t just gonna shake hands and have coffee. (In the Bible Jesus said if there was lust there was adultery...because the “idea” is present, and the action begins with an idea.) Your son has made a smart decision in my opinion.
2 people like this
@DianneN (247186)
• United States
20 Jul 19
I agree totally, and we are happy he found out early in their marriage and before children. Thank you!
2 people like this
• United States
20 Jul 19
that is terrible, the internet, and phones have gotten a lot of people in trouble, this way. . I have known people that have fallen into this and some spouses will put up with it, but it is leading to disaster. Your son did the right thing, and she will go no where with this person she is sexting and will regret later what she has done.
2 people like this
• United States
21 Jul 19
@DianneN I hope your son finds some one much better for him. What she did was wrong.
1 person likes this
@DianneN (247186)
• United States
23 Jul 19
@CookieMonster46 It was wrong and now she is feeling regrets. Too late. Our son is moving on and feeling much better thanks to the support he's received from so many people. Thanks so much!
1 person likes this
@DianneN (247186)
• United States
21 Jul 19
Technology makes it so easy to be a cheater I guess. She's a fool to have continued with this sexting, and I'm certain the guy wouldn't have anything to do with her in real life. She's going to have a pretty rotten life when she realizes what she did.
1 person likes this
@BloggerDi (3113)
• United States
20 Jul 19
I'm so sorry that your son is going through this and that all of you are hurting. You look just stunning in the pic and your men are so handsome. That was certainly a happier day for all of you.
2 people like this
@DianneN (247186)
• United States
20 Jul 19
Aww, thanks so much, Diana. It was a very happy day, but life goes on. We are dealing with it as best as we can.
1 person likes this
@jakeand (66)
• China
20 Jul 19
I am sorry to hear that.Time is the best medince to cure the pain.I belive your son will meet the right person again,he deserves a better life. Give you a huge hug.
2 people like this
@DianneN (247186)
• United States
20 Jul 19
Thanks so much, Henry! I appreciate your kind words and the huge hug.