Forgiveness - when to apply break..
By vanny
@vandana7 (100282)
India
September 26, 2019 5:29am CST
I studied in Christian school, so forgiveness is what was always advocated, not for others but for self so that we don't end up remaining in the whirlpool of hatred and despair.
Indeed, there are situations where we cannot get the other party to repair the harm done.
But there is a case of a 19 year old, who joined ISIS, because she was misled, and then lost 3 children. Impoverished and psychologically disturbed, she longs to return, and live in British prison, claiming I did not kill anybody.
Tough call.
Me thinks many Germans did not kill, or even believe in what Nazis did. But to day, they carry the shame.
Me also thinks she was not averse to harsh treatment to prisoners that ISIS held. Can a 19 year old be so hard-hearted? And if she was, then is there any hope to reform her.
I wish she had not put the world in such dilemma. But she has.
I would not forgive her. But I would use her experiences to describe why ISIS is bad so that others are not misled. So yeah, I would allow her to return.
9 people like this
9 responses
@amitkokiladitya (171927)
• Agra, India
26 Sep 19
I wish I could always monitor this . Sometimes I try yo forgive others but feel why it has to be always me who has to have a bid heart
2 people like this
@vandana7 (100282)
• India
26 Sep 19
It sure is hard...trust me...and they say time is the best healer. Do you read Sai Baba? I try his ways. I try to remove me from an environment that causes me pain or reminds me of it. Then it becomes easier to let go of the hurt. Humor helps too.
2 people like this
@vandana7 (100282)
• India
30 Sep 19
@amitkokiladitya Sai says that... a. Try to be patient, listen through. b. Decide whether it matters. c. Think of situations that could have led to the person developing such thinking - if you can d. If it does not matter ignore or divert the topic. e. If it matters add humor to the situation. f. Last ...if you feel you are going to explode, escape saying you remembered something very urgent. It is not always important to win the battle at that very moment. Winning when we are right is necessary. But the crucial part is ..when. We will get around to it, is the attitude to be held. That is how I understood Sai Baba. While I do not always succeed, I try to follow the principles as far as possible.
2 people like this
@amitkokiladitya (171927)
• Agra, India
30 Sep 19
@vandana7 I will try. But the hardest part is that it is tough to stay away from situations
2 people like this
@LadyDuck (471500)
• Switzerland
26 Sep 19
@vandana7 Italy let several young girls back. Did they have been an example to stop this practice? NO! Because people do what they want and you should know that the experience made by others is worth nothing. Did you listen to your aunties when you were a teenager? I did not, I thought that "for me it was different". It is normal, this is how humans think. Does she want to be put in jail in the UK. Okay put her there and forget about her before she brainwashes others. She is already doing calling attention on her. See how you are moved to pity? Now she is a victim and the others bad guy. Congratulations, she has learnt quickly how to manipulate people.
1 person likes this
@TiarasOceanView (70022)
• United States
2 Nov 19
Well I too was taught to forgive always but we can be sensible also.
In her case, yes I believe a 19 yr old can do and be evil.
Quite capable and has no remorse period only wants the good life back again and so I am not on the side of returning.
1 person likes this
@vandana7 (100282)
• India
2 Nov 19
We all make mistakes. Don't we? At times we are wrong too. If she wants good life back, she should be made an example of I feel and kept in the prison with slightly better life than what she experienced out there, but not "normal" life. And this would be life term since she was indifferent to the pain of her children and those whom ISIS troubled.
1 person likes this
@vandana7 (100282)
• India
2 Nov 19
@TiarasOceanView Not some time...lifetime. No way should she be unleashed on general public. But her experiences (harrowing indeed) need to be shared through media..so that others contemplating to become part of ISIS would think twice.
@TiarasOceanView (70022)
• United States
2 Nov 19
@vandana7 Yes that makes sense to me Vanny if she would do some time for it then I would be agreeable but not to just return and walk in scott free.
1 person likes this
@vandana7 (100282)
• India
2 Nov 19
Yes, she should be allowed to return and be kept in prison, because that is what she wants. While it seems as if we are letting her off hook easily, we have something to gain. We tell the remaining, those getting deluded even as we speak, this is the real world, not that. And there can be harrowing experiences. This one returned. What is the probability of you surviving? Go if you must, knowing the truth...or learn from her experience. I bet 90 percent of the deluded would step back.
@crazyhorseladycx (39509)
• United States
26 Sep 19
'tis a tough call, hon. i'd rather her be'n a prison fer life though versus stayin' o'er there. sadly many'll not believe what she says, be swayed by what those folks'd be offerin'. 'tis not much diff'rent than gangs, they recruit the weak. 'xploit 'em fer what they can.
2 people like this
@LindaOHio (178568)
• United States
26 Sep 19
Christianity teaches us to forgive...but we do not have to forget.
1 person likes this
@vandana7 (100282)
• India
26 Sep 19
I feel, isolation or keeping her lonely there, might get her to feel those people just talk, but in truth they are not forgiving. She may swing back into ISIS ideology, and this time go on killing spree with the anger she develops against the UK for not accepting her back. She will as vengeance have kids, and train them to be terrorists. How then are we doing right?
She wants to return? Good. Let her be in the prison, isolated. Only members of press an psychologists get access to talk to her. Her experiences should prove to be deterrent to others who want to be like her.
1 person likes this
@vandana7 (100282)
• India
28 Sep 19
@LindaOHio Of course. That simply can't be denied. And in isolation.
1 person likes this
@LindaOHio (178568)
• United States
26 Sep 19
@vandana7 She definitely needs to be in prison.
1 person likes this
@vandana7 (100282)
• India
26 Sep 19
Generosity is different from forgiveness. Generosity is about forgiving the person and then welcoming the person back, and making life comfortable for her. Here there is no welcome and "making life comfortable for her" in offer, because it hurts another citizen. Forgiveness, on the other hand, is recognition to regret. If we let her be there, she might herself become so hard hearted that she will also start killing and beheading people. And forgiveness is for self too. It means we find a way out of the problem, otherwise, we will be rotating in the same problem without any possibility of escape just like we would be caught in whirlpool. I am not saying be kind and generous. I am saying if a person feels yes I am wrong, and was wrong, then use him or her as an example for others who may be ready to travel that way to become ISIS brides.
1 person likes this
@just4him (317041)
• Green Bay, Wisconsin
15 Oct 19
Forgiveness is something we give not only to ourselves but for others as well. I'm surprised the Christian school you attended didn't tell you it was for others not only self. Jesus forgave everyone including those who nailed Him to the cross. I would forgive her and hope she is truly repentant of her actions.
1 person likes this
@vandana7 (100282)
• India
26 Sep 19
I agree so much with that set yourself free bit. It does not mean that the person gets a clean chit, and fresh break. It just means that this is not a case on which we have to take a decision, it is god's job. At least, that is the way I go. Of course, there will be no rewards like let her enjoy better life, good food, and all that, including TV. She did not earn it, and she denied it to others. But letting her describe what she saw, what she believed in, how she was steered into it, and why she finds it wrong now is important. Regrets so to say ...we all have them. She was, after all, not somebody who participated in it all. There should be reverse propaganda. If they do it in sly, the world needs to do it in open with someone from inside.
