Brave face

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People never realize how hard it is to simply get out of the bed when you suffer from depression and chronic pain syndrome among other things. The mere thought of your feet touching the floor is more than even to force you into a panic attack. The pain can be so unbearable and pain management doesn’t always work. It’s mentally and physically exhausting to feel that way let along having people around you judging you and berating you constantly. You try to pretend your ok by putting on a brave face and smiling through the pain but honestly it only makes you feel worse for yourself. You try to talk it out with people knowing they can never understand and they tell you stupid things like I wish I could lay around all day. My favorite is do more and you will feel better. Just great I would love to do more but oh yeah that’s right my body moves how and when it wants. The pain in my head is so painful I can’t even open my eyes but let me run around block with my eyes close so I can feel better. I try to pretend I’m still my normal self and try to maintain my home which only causes more pain and mental anguish. Oh my other favorite I see you are moving around better you most be better now. Oh yeah my disease that has NO CURE just magically disappeared that why I almost fell just trying to walk to the bathroom how could I forget. I’m too young to be like this but old enough to know that it is what it is and hopefully one day soon it will all be over