I Want to Curl Up into a Ball and Die

@DianneN (247186)
United States
November 6, 2019 3:05pm CST
My son and I spent three hours at the veterinarian clinic today. Doodles, our beautiful, smart, and loving cat hasn’t been acting right for the last two months. He hasn’t been eating his food or treats, doesn’t want to go outside as much, favors his left paw, limps, loses his balance, and sleeps most of the day away. Last month we had his cardiologist do another ultrasound on his heart and a complete blood work up. He received wonderful reports. Today his vet gave Doodles a thorough examination including x-rays and an abdominal ultrasound. Our precious baby has fluid outside his abdomen called Ascites. His prognosis is dire. He has cancer, which the lab reports will let us know its exact whereabouts. Due to his heart condition, he can not be treated. The vet doesn’t advocate euthanasia, but suggests it for Doodles before he gets more uncomfortable which will be very, very soon. My husband just built a wooden coffin. My son will set up an appointment to have Doodles euthanized as soon as possible. Forgive me if I can’t be a good myLotter now. I can’t see through my tears.
66 people like this
68 responses
@amadeo (111938)
• United States
6 Nov 19
I am so sorry to hear this.This is tough.We went similar to our last dog and we put him down and cry like a baby.I do not want to this ever again.He is buried with his brother Meeno.Best of the luck.Do the best t hing for him.
10 people like this
@amadeo (111938)
• United States
6 Nov 19
@DianneN I know the feeling there
5 people like this
@cacay1 (83505)
• Cagayan De Oro, Philippines
8 Nov 19
4 people like this
@DianneN (247186)
• United States
6 Nov 19
Thank you so much. He will be buried next to his sister. Our pets are members of the family. and it hurts soooooo much.
7 people like this
@Nevena83 (65277)
• Serbia
6 Nov 19
I am so sorry to hear this. Surely this news is difficult for all of you.
8 people like this
@DianneN (247186)
• United States
11 Nov 19
@Nevena83 I feel miserable, depressed, and just awful.. One more day with the love of my life and that’s it.
2 people like this
@DianneN (247186)
• United States
6 Nov 19
We are all simply devastated. Thank you, Nevena.
5 people like this
@Nevena83 (65277)
• Serbia
10 Nov 19
@DianneN How do you feel today?
1 person likes this
@LadyDuck (471482)
• Switzerland
7 Nov 19
NO! Same as the poor Willy. I am so sorry Dianne, another lovely kitty is going to cross the rainbow bridge.
6 people like this
@LadyDuck (471482)
• Switzerland
8 Nov 19
@DianneN Poor Doodles, I am so sorry if he is in pain. I know that Willy was in pain the last few days, but he came to visit to say farewell. I still cry when I remember that day.
4 people like this
@DianneN (247186)
• United States
7 Nov 19
. I’m in tears again. Our son was here crying, and Doodles knew it. We can’t cry in front of him. Thank you so much for your kind words. Today he showed his first signs of pain by hiding under a desk in a spare bedroom and later under a chair in the family room. The mobile vet will do the deed on Tuesday at 3:00PM. She spoke to our vet and had to squeeze us in. Doodles can’t wait much longer.
5 people like this
• United States
8 Nov 19
@DianneN I am so sorry. I am still praying for you and your family, especially for Doodles to ease his pain.
3 people like this
@wolfgirl569 (106425)
• Marion, Ohio
6 Nov 19
Soooo Sorry I just knew what was happening when I read your title. It is never easy to do. But seeing him suffer would be worse. Hug him for the little time left.
7 people like this
@wolfgirl569 (106425)
• Marion, Ohio
6 Nov 19
@DianneN For you and the family For Doodles
2 people like this
@DianneN (247186)
• United States
6 Nov 19
Thank you. That’s all I’m doing.
3 people like this
@DianneN (247186)
• United States
6 Nov 19
@wolfgirl569 Thanks sooooo much. We all need those hugs.
2 people like this
@JohnRoberts (109846)
• Los Angeles, California
6 Nov 19
Oh no. We all love Doodles here. It just won't be the same without that scamp's adventures.
8 people like this
@DianneN (247186)
• United States
6 Nov 19
Thanks John. I can’t imagine life without him in it.
4 people like this
@LindaOHio (178869)
• United States
6 Nov 19
My heart breaks for you, Dianne. I am so, so sorry...but you don't want him to suffer needlessly. You have the support of all of us. Let me know if you want to talk about it.
7 people like this
@DianneN (247186)
• United States
6 Nov 19
Oh, thank you so much, Linda. You are so kind. I will let you know, but right now I am such a basket case.
1 person likes this
@LindaOHio (178869)
• United States
7 Nov 19
@DianneN I totally understand. We've been through it 4 times; and it never gets easier.
1 person likes this
@snowy22315 (180894)
• United States
6 Nov 19
no words..it is going to hurt for a long time. I went through that just nine months ago.
4 people like this
@DianneN (247186)
• United States
6 Nov 19
I know and thank you.
3 people like this
@marguicha (223129)
• Chile
7 Nov 19
Dearest, I understand perfectly well. If the vet says it should be done sooner than hater, trust the vet. I could not let go of Misty, my beautiful dog, and she spent her last week in pain. Sometimes letting go is the best act of love you can do.
4 people like this
@marguicha (223129)
• Chile
7 Nov 19
@DianneN It took me well over a year to talk about her without tears. But I knew that she was in dog´s heaven
2 people like this
@DianneN (247186)
• United States
7 Nov 19
Thank you so much. You are right. Today Doodles began exhibiting the first signs of pain. The mobile vet will be here Tuesday to do the deed.
2 people like this
@DianneN (247186)
• United States
8 Nov 19
1 person likes this
@1creekgirl (41447)
• United States
6 Nov 19
That is such sad news! I know Doodles is part of your family..you'll be in my prayers.
4 people like this
@DianneN (247186)
• United States
6 Nov 19
Thank you for your kind words and prayers. We certainly all need them desperately.
2 people like this
@sallypup (61172)
• Centralia, Washington
7 Nov 19
Oh what a heart smasher. I'm blown away for you and yours. All I can offer you is hugs and a shoulder to cry on. Sweet Doodles. Sometimes Love is a burden. I wish it weren't so but it is. Bless you as you walk through this.
3 people like this
@sallypup (61172)
• Centralia, Washington
7 Nov 19
@DianneN Poor fur baby. I heard a song on the radio the afternoon I was driving from my Mom's final party. The song comforted me even as I wailed along with it. One of the lines went something like: "Some where up ahead someone waits for you." That line about drove me off the road. Know this: Doodles is love and Doodle's spirit is there with you no matter what.
1 person likes this
@DianneN (247186)
• United States
10 Nov 19
@sallypup I know that song and am crying for your pain and Doodles right now. I truly can’t function except to be by his side day and night.
1 person likes this
@DianneN (247186)
• United States
7 Nov 19
Thank you so much, Lenore. . That was beautifully stated. Today he showed his first signs of pain by hiding under a desk in a spare bedroom and later under a chair in the family room. The mobile vet will do the deed on Tuesday at 3:00. She spoke to our vet and had to squeeze us in. Doodles can’t wait much longer. We are heartbroken over this.
2 people like this
@andriaperry (116936)
• Anniston, Alabama
7 Nov 19
I am so sorry!
5 people like this
@DianneN (247186)
• United States
7 Nov 19
Thank you.
3 people like this
@andriaperry (116936)
• Anniston, Alabama
7 Nov 19
3 people like this
@NJChicaa (119652)
• United States
6 Nov 19
I am so sooooo sorry! I know your heart is breaking. You love him so much. But you will be doing the right and kindest thing to let him be free of suffering and pain. I had to go through the same thing when my beloved SoCo had cancer at 15. Trust me the process is much harder on the humans than it is on the cat. They literally just go to sleep. I am here for you! I've been there and I understand how much it hurts.
4 people like this
@DianneN (247186)
• United States
6 Nov 19
Thank you soooo much. We went through this last year with his sister. It doesn’t get any easier. We love him so much. I don’t want to let him hear me cry, but I’m sobbing my head off. I can’t believe this is happening to him.
4 people like this
@DianneN (247186)
• United States
6 Nov 19
3 people like this
@NJChicaa (119652)
• United States
6 Nov 19
@DianneN I wish you, your family, and Doodles much peace in the coming days. Life sucks sometimes but you truly are doing the kindest thing for Doodles.
4 people like this
@dya80dya (36657)
7 Nov 19
This is very bad news. I am so sorry to know this. How old is Doodles?
3 people like this
@DianneN (247186)
• United States
7 Nov 19
Thank you. He’s only 11 years old.
2 people like this
@DianneN (247186)
• United States
9 Nov 19
@dya80dya Yes, and thanks so much.
1 person likes this
@dya80dya (36657)
8 Nov 19
@DianneN I am so sorry. He is still young.
1 person likes this
@CarolDM (203422)
• Nashville, Tennessee
6 Nov 19
Oh Dianne, I am typing through tears. I am so sorry for our Doodles.
4 people like this
@DianneN (247186)
• United States
6 Nov 19
3 people like this
@CarolDM (203422)
• Nashville, Tennessee
6 Nov 19
@DianneN My heart literally hurts for you. I remember losing Momma Kitty at 24 and how hard it was. Message any time.
4 people like this
@DianneN (247186)
• United States
6 Nov 19
@CarolDM Thank you, Carol. I’m canceling all plans so I can spend every single moment with him. I’m in shock. The vet complimented us on the wonderful job we’ve been doing with his heart. That doesn’t matter now, does it?
4 people like this
@rakski (123463)
• Philippines
6 Nov 19
Oh my, I am so sorry to hear this. This is the saddest news I heard. I know words cannot comfort you right now but you need to be tough. Sending hugs for Doodles and you.
3 people like this
@rakski (123463)
• Philippines
7 Nov 19
1 person likes this
@DianneN (247186)
• United States
6 Nov 19
Thank you for the hugs. We certainly need them right now. I still am in shock over this.
1 person likes this
@cacay1 (83505)
• Cagayan De Oro, Philippines
7 Nov 19
That's sickening, it hurts people here so much. Doodles is well loved by people. It's hard to believe he got cancer My sympathy. I hope he won't be euthanized.
3 people like this
@cacay1 (83505)
• Cagayan De Oro, Philippines
8 Nov 19
@DianneN , it really hurts . He's a family member and he's with you for many years. It's hard to move after your pet is eutanized.
1 person likes this
@DianneN (247186)
• United States
7 Nov 19
Thank you. He showed pain today and his vet told us it would. Rather than let him suffer, we are having him euthanized here in our home and in our arms.. It’s happening on Tuesday.
2 people like this
@birjudanak (14320)
• India
7 Nov 19
It such sad news and I always seen here that you always love your cat and treat like your family member and its a great thing. I know its a difficult time for you and your family but we all are with you always and you are the best mylotter.
3 people like this
@DianneN (247186)
• United States
7 Nov 19
Awww, thank you so much for your kind words. The vet will put him our of his misery on Tuesday. Until then, we are trying to keep him as comfortable as possible. This is so devastating for us.
2 people like this
@paigea (36317)
• Canada
7 Nov 19
I am so sorry. He was such a joy to you.
3 people like this
@DianneN (247186)
• United States
7 Nov 19
Thank you. The mobile vet will put him out of his pain on Tuesday. We are so devastated over this.
2 people like this
@Happy2BeMe (99380)
• Canada
6 Nov 19
Oh Dianne..I am so very sorry. So very sad. I know how much you love Doodles. He is your baby. This is so heartbreaking. My heart breaks for you. We have all grown to love him.
3 people like this
@DianneN (247186)
• United States
6 Nov 19
Thank you. You made me cry with your sweet words.
2 people like this
@Happy2BeMe (99380)
• Canada
6 Nov 19
2 people like this
• United States
7 Nov 19
its hard losing a member of the family whether it is in pet form or human form it is always hard I am sorry you all have too go through this all I can say is to remember the good times and that you will be in my thoughts and prayers during this trying time when you release Doodles from there pain and suffering.
3 people like this
@DianneN (247186)
• United States
7 Nov 19
Thank you so much, Christina. We have less than five days left with him.
1 person likes this