Toxic family
By Rachel
@RachelleDD (823)
Canada
November 12, 2019 7:35pm CST
My husband is a wonderful man, kind, loving, devoted. We have been together for 20 years and our love for each other has only deepened. However, he has a very toxic family. His brother was convicted of child molestation a couple of years ago and served 8 months in jail. His conviction was a snowball effect, and opened old wounds, and brought out a lot of skeletons hidden away behind long closed doors.
We completely cut off all contact with him. His sister is a "me me me" person. No matter what you might be going through in life, be it good or bad she will manage to make it all about her. I however, have a very loving and nurturing family, I find it difficult, even after 20 years wrapping my head around how his family are.
We have been told on numerous occasions that we need to put our feelings aside, that family is family, blood is thicker than water, and we need to be there for one another. My husband still struggles with it, and would rather deal with the "guilt" if there is any, and not have contact with his toxic family. He states his life is more peaceful without them in it. How do you deal with a toxic family members, if you have any??
7 people like this
6 responses
@snowy22315 (180859)
• United States
13 Nov 19
I tolerate my family...they aren't the greatest, but they aren't the worst. Essentially, they are all nice people at heart. If they were extremely toxic..I guess I wouldn't have a problem not seeing them.
2 people like this
@RachelleDD (823)
• Canada
13 Nov 19
My husband made this decision to not spend time with his family. We use to spend time with them, Christmas dinners, bought them gifts, etc...his brother getting convicted was just the icing on the cake so to speak. There were many other instances that ultimately helped him make this decision.
2 people like this
@amitkokiladitya (171927)
• Agra, India
13 Nov 19
My husband also has a toxic family and so I can relate to this very well. My mother in law is the biggest self obsessed human being I have seen. And all she is doing the whole day is creating troubles for both of us.
2 people like this
@RachelleDD (823)
• Canada
13 Nov 19
Your mother in law sounds like my sister in law.
2 people like this
@amitkokiladitya (171927)
• Agra, India
14 Nov 19
@RachelleDD yes...I also felt the same after reading your discussion
@Letranknight2015 (51969)
• Philippines
13 Nov 19
I guess this why my mom left our province decades ago because she didn't want us being around a toxic family.
1 person likes this
@cahaya1983 (11116)
• Malaysia
13 Nov 19
That must have been hard, I can't say I've ever experienced dealing with a toxic family member. We've always been close and have good relationship with one another. But if I ever do, I'd either ignore them or just avoid meeting them at all.
1 person likes this
@RachelleDD (823)
• Canada
13 Nov 19
It was a hard decision, but after his brother served time my husband said he could never look at him the same without thinking about the little child he hurt, his brother says he is innocent, but I don't think he is. His brother is not a nice, good or decent human being, staying away is the best thing for us, and especially for my husband.
3 people like this
@Happy2BeMe (99380)
• Canada
13 Nov 19
My fiance has nothing to do with his family. He choose many years go to walk away from them all and never look back. It was the beat decision he ever made for him. They were very toxic.
2 people like this
