Living abroad and starting over.

@besweet (9859)

Ireland

February 2, 2020 1:22pm CST

I have lived away from my country twice in my life. As a student, I spent one year abroad and now I have moved to another country with my husband for his work. I love my home country but living abroad is a unique experience and I am proud of this new chapter. It was very challenging in the beginning, to move away from friends, family, leave my old job behind and start over. I learned some life lessons too. All the friends that said they would help eventually avoided any real action. It was very dissapointing. On the other hand, strangers and people I had just met were very eager to help and suggest me for job openings when I was actively looking for job. Did you ever find great support from people you have just met? After this experience, I will also try to be more selfless and do the same for others in the future.

16 people like this

15 responses

@marguicha (223773)

• Chile

2 Feb 20

I have had wonderful experiences from some people and none at all from others. Some people start being "helpers" and become at some moment close friends. Others just say they are friends at moments of fun. Real friends are found in hardship and painful moments.

4 people like this

@besweet (9859)

• Ireland

2 Feb 20

It depends on the person also. But this past year I have been pleasantly surprised by the kindness of people. Back home, many old friends promised to provide support and then they dissapeared.

4 people like this

@marguicha (223773)

• Chile

2 Feb 20

@besweet Be happy with thr good people you have met

4 people like this

@besweet (9859)

• Ireland

3 Feb 20

@marguicha I will try to return the help in any way I can. I am so happy to have met them.

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@Mike197602 (15512)

• United Kingdom

2 Feb 20

I have never worked abroad. I do work with many people in my job (UK) that aren't from my country. With the UK leaving the EU (BREXIT) many of my work mates have to make some decisions...fill in the settlement forms or maybe go back to their country. I'm currently trying to help my friends sort out their position post brexit so as they're able to stay.

2 people like this

@besweet (9859)

• Ireland

3 Feb 20

I have many friends working in UK. They live for many years in your country, since our graduation, and they have already been prepared for the Brexit I think. How do you feel now that it's already done? It's very kind to help your friends through this change, everyone must be anxious about the future right now.

2 people like this

@Mike197602 (15512)

• United Kingdom

3 Feb 20

@besweet I personally am feeling very positive now we are out of the EU. Obviously there are tough times ahead with all the trade negotiations to come in the next year or so. I work with a few people from greece and they are secure in their jobs and have filled in the required settlement forms. What they tell me is that there are more opportunities for them here in the uk than there are back home.

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@besweet (9859)

• Ireland

3 Feb 20

@Mike197602 Yes that's true, back home there are not enough opportunities for professional development. I also think that England will go through just fine, but I am worried for the rest of Europe. Let's see what happens.

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Linda Mansfield (Snowdrop)

@sprite1950 (30452)

• Corsham, England

3 Feb 20

I notice you are now in Greece. I visited many years ago and thought it was amazing. I always said I would go back but never did. It's a sad fact that many of our "friends" do not always want to help in times of need.

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Linda Mansfield (Snowdrop)

@sprite1950 (30452)

• Corsham, England

3 Feb 20

@besweet Oh I see, where are you now or would you rather not say?

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@besweet (9859)

• Ireland

3 Feb 20

@sprite1950 Yes I don't mind to say! I am in middle east. My husband got an offer to relocate and we accepted, and I didn't want to stay behind. I know now that many ladies stay at home and the husband visits for holidays only. Because it's more difficult to get good job here as a woman.

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@besweet (9859)

• Ireland

3 Feb 20

I am originally from Greece but now I have moved abroad. It's nice back home but we decided to move on to another country for a while and from here we will see what's next. I don't think we are going back soon, only for vacations. Our work is not appreciated there and we left when we got the chance.

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@Lushlala (4028)

• Gaborone, Botswana

4 Feb 20

Been there, done it and bought the t-shirt. When I moved back to my country, I found there wasn't much support. Seven years later and we're getting on our feet all on our own. But I wouldn't hesitate to help others who need help :)

1 person likes this

@besweet (9859)

• Ireland

4 Feb 20

Everyone wishes the best and offer their help and then when the time comes, they try to avoid any real action. You must be very proud that you managed to go through the changed on your own, I think it's a great achievement.

@besweet (9859)

• Ireland

6 Feb 20

@Lushlala You are very strong dear. How did you decide to return to your home country, was it because of job opportunity or family? It definitely helps when you have the love and support of your man. We are not planning to go back, we decided to make a life abroad. At least for the near future.

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@Lushlala (4028)

• Gaborone, Botswana

5 Feb 20

@besweet Thank you :) I think it takes guts, that's why many people chicken out. I first went to Italy as an au pair, then onto the UK before returning home to Botswana 13 years later. This was a big move and a huge adjustment for my husband, who's from the UK. I feel a great sense of achievement but now just want to get back on my feet and I'll be happier :)

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@DianneN (247186)

• United States

3 Feb 20

It’s wonderful that people whom you did not know have kindly helped you when you needed it. Yes, many kind people have helped me when I needed help. Some have become true blue friends.

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@besweet (9859)

• Ireland

4 Feb 20

I am pleasantly surprised by their kindness, I admire them for being so open and helpful. They were new to the country also but they didn't hesitate to offer their help.

1 person likes this

@besweet (9859)

• Ireland

4 Feb 20

@DianneN They are, but it was very casual for them. I don't know how to describe it, they just offered to help and introduce me to some people for work. Simple and effective.

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@DianneN (247186)

• United States

4 Feb 20

@besweet Some people are extremely caring!

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@NJChicaa (120122)

• United States

2 Feb 20

Yes I have had help from new friends and not much from others that I've known for years. That has happened to me this past year.

2 people like this

@besweet (9859)

• Ireland

3 Feb 20

I am wondering, did you change your relationship with your old friends? I feel a little uncomfortable now because of this, especially when they ask about my work.

1 person likes this

@rsa101 (38166)

• Philippines

4 Feb 20

Good for you that you found new friends in a new place that is strange to you. I guess being in a new country makes us more resilient to adjust to the place and their culture too. If you can adjust then that would make you stronger person.

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@rsa101 (38166)

• Philippines

5 Feb 20

@besweet I think that should be the attitude rather than be there and be culture shocked and afraid to interact with them. Enjoy them and respect them for who they are and I am sure they will reciprocate those to you as well.

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@besweet (9859)

• Ireland

6 Feb 20

@rsa101 It's a different culture for sure, some things are very strange for me. But as you said we need to respect the country we live in and always find the positives and make a better life.

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@besweet (9859)

• Ireland

4 Feb 20

It's a lot of efford the older we get, but we can only go forward by adapting and trying to make a life. I think that since we are here, we should try and be happy.

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@hereandthere (45645)

• Philippines

3 Feb 20

i see from the comments you're from greece and in the middle east for now. it's good that you plan to also help others in need, just as you were helped. where did you study abroad?

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@besweet (9859)

• Ireland

3 Feb 20

I studied in England, it was a great experience also. Student life and working life are very different though. Now the priorities are different. I was considering to go back to UK but I am waiting to see what happens after the Brexit.

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@RebeccasFarm (90474)

• Arvada, Colorado

2 Feb 20

Sometimes but usually there were alternative motives

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@besweet (9859)

• Ireland

3 Feb 20

The only motive that I can think about for not helping with a job recommendation is that they didn't want to use their connections for me.

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@besweet (9859)

• Ireland

4 Feb 20

@RebeccasFarm Only because they are my friends. I wouldn't be dissapointed otherwise.

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@RebeccasFarm (90474)

• Arvada, Colorado

3 Feb 20

@besweet Yes I understand..but it is so bad to not help you

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@jobelbojel (36041)

• Philippines

10 Feb 20

I see on your profile that you are from Greece. Which country did you move in?

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@besweet (9859)

• Ireland

12 Feb 20

Hi Bojel, I have moved to middle east now, and it was very hard to starf working here without connections.

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@besweet (9859)

• Ireland

13 Feb 20

@jobelbojel Since I found this job it's been good. But before, the insecurity and stress was too much. And it's too expensive to live here without work.

@jobelbojel (36041)

• Philippines

12 Feb 20

@besweet at first it is difficult. I bet you can cope up. My brother is working in Abu Dhabi.

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@rakski (126067)

• Philippines

2 Feb 20

hello there! Is it possible to know where are you originally from and where are you now? It is really hard to move from place to place

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@besweet (9859)

• Ireland

3 Feb 20

Hello! It's difficult especially when there is no family or friends in the new country. My country is in my profile, and we moved temporarily to middle east.

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@besweet (9859)

• Ireland

4 Feb 20

@rakski Yes we are together. I wouldn't come alone, maybe I would go to another country it would be easier in Europe for example. Most ladies that come here have someone, at least extended family.

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@rakski (126067)

• Philippines

3 Feb 20

@besweet oh, okay. I thought you are in Greece now. But still you have your husband, right? Others do not have

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@sol_cee (38219)

• Philippines

4 Feb 20

Glad you found a great support system away from your home country.

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@besweet (9859)

• Ireland

4 Feb 20

Thank you! I think of it as kindness, the help was offered without asking and expecting anything in return. I am looking forward ro return the help in any way I can.

@JudyEv (342077)

• Rockingham, Australia

3 Feb 20

I'm glad you found people who were willing to help you. There are a lot of kind people in the world.

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@besweet (9859)

• Ireland

4 Feb 20

I agree, and it motivates me to become a better person also.

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@chrisaloys2341 (73)

• Accra, Ghana

3 Feb 20

A close door always leads to an open room. I am happy for you.

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@besweet (9859)

• Ireland

3 Feb 20

That's true. But it's hard not to become sad and dissapointed. Eveeything worked out well at the end so I will get over it.

@youless (112586)

• Guangzhou, China

3 Feb 20

I understand it is not easy to live in a foreign country. I am glad that you met nice people who are friendly and helpful. There are still more good people than bad ones in the world

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@besweet (9859)

• Ireland

3 Feb 20

I believe that now, it's very true. But we also need to try and meet new people, and make friends, and give back to others. It's very important to appreciate the nice gestures and try to become a better person.

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