Plans For Today.

Ah well at least you can take the work day a little bit slower it seems I am working today too but I guess probably not in the same sense you are.

@Erinnn41 Everyone was in the mood for chatting today and the work was slow! Enjoy your working day!

@besweet Thank you I will! So far so good for me actually exciting stuff is happening and its just aaaah right now.

@Erinnn41 I'm studying Childcare Course. For ages 0 to 5 years old. So early childhood care. wow Criminal psychology! How cool! I'm so sorry you were unable to do it as well as not being able to get a job in that area. I know you'll find something else for sure! ah! I see I've learned something about you and I'm so sorry. I can truly empathise with you there! I was also going to say something like "Even if it's just to get up to have a shower" but I was hesitant because when someone has never experienced depression before, they don't understand so as I'm still getting to know you, I stopped myself from saying it but turns out you know that feeling very well and I'm so sorry. That type of thing really is hard and it does make it harder when people around you don't understand or try to understand. So I honestly understand where you're coming from with To Do Lists. I have considered having my own YouTube channel. I love to sing. I'm not saying I'm good ( because I have low self esteem and confident issues ) but not all that long ago went to a singing teacher and she says I have the potential to sing, just need to practice and gain confidence. But yeah I don't know. If I was to do a channel, I wouldn't be showing my face for a long time. It's on my mind A LOT. I would really love to do that. Thank you for telling me about Twitch. I haven't really been on there but have been considering to watch a YouTuber I like. I think he is still there I don't know. I mainly watch him on YouTube.

@VivaLaDani13 Ooh I lived first year with a girl who was studying to become a primary school teacher I believe. I used to work in a nursery I enjoyed the work a lot. Well I originally started out doing my work experience there as the owner is a family friend and incidentally I went to her nursery for a bit when I was young too so did my brother. Then I ended up getting asked to work the next year as she was short staffed and of course I said yes because it was so good for my depression and keeping my moods stable. It is hard to be sad all day when you're surrounded by children smiling and happy and running around and you're so busy keeping an eye on them you don't have time for the thoughts to creep in as much. I'd get home so tired after work too by the time i'd eaten and had a little rest relaxing watching TV or whatever I'd be off to sleep ready for the next day. Yes unfortunately people treat it like you're lazy if you cannot do these things and they don't get it. I might as well be in bed with a broken leg on those days because no matter how much I will myself to I just cannot always get myself up to even eat something or take a shower. People can be horribly ignorant but to me it's those who don't wish to learn and understand that make me the most upset and mad. I found out about Twitch because my fiance introduced me to it when he showed me some of his favourite youtubers in the gaming community who are now more streaming on twitch than uploading to Youtube. Well the good thing about the singing is you wouldn't need to show your face. I understand the confidence thing i also have major anxiety. I've managed to overcome some of it over time like with sharing my poetry and I guess it gave me that confidence boost that my work wasn't rubbish and that people on the forum weren't just being nice to me because i was fragile and only 18 and clearly very depressed. When I hit 10k followers it was mind blown I was going through my archives and i saw I hit 10k around just over 3 months of having the blog. Now I am more confident but I still know I'm not entirely heavily skilled I just write about things that I guess people can relate too. The more you put yourself out there even in small ways to start with the more your confidence can grow although the hate trolls can dish out online can make it hard some days I'm lucky I didnt encounter that on my blog on tumblr but I dont know how Youtube is for nasty people in the comments sections. Although of course it's never as easy as it sounds I say these things but boy has it taken a lot of encouragement and small steps to get to the bigger steps I take now and the confidence I have now which can still waver and dip back down again. I find anxiety is one of those things where if you don't continually do something and you go away for awhile when you come back to doing it again for some scenarios the anxiety can return so I just have to keep reminding myself to keep pushing forward especially with the social anxiety the more I isolate which happens during my depressive episodes the harder it can be anxiety wise when I'm otherwise mentally well enough to go out again.

@Erinnn41 I'm so glad you enjoyed yourself while looking after children. And I'm super glad it helped keep any bad / negative thoughts away. I believe even 5 minutes without bad thoughts is nice. I have the same thoughts as you. Those who don't even want to learn is what's annoying to me. And it annoys me so much when people have an opinion set in concrete when they don't even know anything about the matter whether it's from personal experience or research. I don't like that sort of ignorance. Does you or your finance know of a YouTuber called Daz Games / Daz Black? He is my favourite. I'm sorry about your anxiety. I am so proud of you for what you have accomplished and I'm sure during your life time, your confidence will start to boost more and more the more you share your talents. You and I sound so much a like regarding depression and anxiety. So I can sympathise and empathise with everything you're saying. I really wish the very best for you.

Sounds good to me!

@Erinnn41 You are working hard today.

@JohnRoberts Yes I am quite proud of myself actually. I've been working since I last replied to you on my site and it's still not done yet. I have set aside now the other tasks just to get this finished because this will be good in the long run to get done now. Plus I don't want to leave it half done when I've got the motivation to finish it. Well at least finish the shell of the site after that I need to upload my poetry to sell and bam hey presto I am done for a bit.

Thank you! So far I have completed the surveys available to me so far. I have been posting to my social media which is more an ongoing thing i guess. Although I still need to do Instagram which I always put off I dunno why I just dislike having to upload via my phone for it. I have added some more stuff to my queue on my vegan blog. I have two other blogs one I would queue stuff for the other one my poetry so am not going to queue up that. So I am a little bit of the way there but I got sidetracked because I am now publishing my official poetry website/store. Which I figure is a pretty important task and can take precedent over making my desk and PC set up for now. So left is to submit a poem Use Buzzbreak Instagram posting Other stuff is sort of on and off through out the day until I sleep. And I think I might hold off on the desk til tomorrow as I remembered I am in fact using my mum's Laptop which means I don't need to rush to get my PC set up as I can run the programs I need from hers. My laptop last night finally decided that is it, it wasnt going to work anymore its been on its last legs for awhile. But now it just refuses to charge so...need to get it fixed -sigh or just do everything from my PC once it's set up because I can't borrow my mum's Laptop forever.

I'm sorry to hear your uncle is sick. Well that is good you've got work done and out of the way you can take some time out for yourself now then.