My cats' passing

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This is something that has been weighing on my chest for quite some time. I've finally decided to get it off. So, 3 years ago, while I was still in high school, my friend and I found a little kitten near the school. We barely noticed it, it was like a small little white furball peeking from the grass. He probably lost his mom, we tried to find her, but there weren't any other cats nearby. We gave it some food and milk. Me, being the cat lady, I picked him up and cuddled with him. He loved cuddles and fell asleep in my arms. And from that moment, we became inseparable. I couldn't leave him there! So of course, I took him with me to school until my classes ended for the day. His meows were so squeaky and cute, I had to pet him the whole time while he was laying in my bag so I wouldn't get in trouble with my teachers. All of my classmates said hi to him on breaks. After school I took him to the vet to get him checked out and I had him vaccinated. Then we went home and I gave him a good ol' bath. He was so tiny, he could literally fit on the palm of my hand. I took him everywhere with me, we would go through the town with him on my shoulder. I gave him the name Lavrentije (Laurenthius). Actually, no! My dad, who ''was never a cat person'' fell in love with him and named him!! I there were times I was actually jealous of how much time they spent together. Lavrentije crawled into everybody's hearts. He was a an outdoor cat... A year ago I moved to another country for college. I had to leave Lavrentije with my dad. One day, Lavrentije got hit my a car and hurt his left back leg. My dad immediately took him to the vet. They did x-rays and the results were not good.... His pelvis was broken and his back paws are completely numb, he doesn't feel them at all. Necrosis was soon to step in... he was also going through insufferable pain while going to the bathroom because he does it uncontrollably, he couldn't control it. My dad was telling me all this through the phone while he was at the vet with Lavrentije... He even put the vet on the phone and he explained that there was nothing they could do. I was crying histerically, I couldn't keep calm, I waas supposed to come home 2 weeks later but the vet told me by the time I come, Lavrentije wouldn't make it... and would be suffering the whole time.... My dad, even though not a cat person, took care of him the whole time. He cleaned him up, he made him food, regurarly checked up on him... And you need to understand, this is a man who has a real idgaf attitude towards most things. I told my dad over the phone that I agree to euthanasia for Lavrentije, while screaming in emotional pain. I told him to make a video of him saying to Lavrentije that I love him from the bottom of my heart, and even though I'm not there to say goodbye to him, I still love him endlessly. My heart was breaking into little pieces when I saw the video.... I didn't have a chance to say goodbye to my best friend in the whole world. I looked at him like my son. I felt like I lost my son. I hope that he knows how much I still love him. In loving memory of Lavrentije, you are always in my thoughts,my little angel