Broken again!!

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I really wish there was a easier way to say this but am hurt, I'm really and truly hurt and the more I tell myself it's okay,I know it's not. You find your first true love and you give your heart away, because the truth is it's your first, so what could possibly go wrong right?. Until you get your heart broken and you just can't seem to let go of him, you just can't seem to stop wanting and feeling like you need him. some of us never stop loving that person and some of us manage to move on but not fully. In time we risk our heart again and we tell that person "don't hurt me because I've been hurt before " they listen and pretend that they care, they pretend they love You, if they actually love you then the love fades because they leave or give you a reason to leave when u just can't take it no more. Some of us keep trying to love but some of us are just to broken to get our hearts back up. Some of us are tired of risking it all, just to stand alone in the end. People often say, the fairytale must end but with so much trust issues,is it really a fairytale?. Some of us get more broken than others and some of us take our lives because it's to much to handle. I don't want my ex's back, But it's hard to love another after being broken so much, It's hard to trust when everyone lies to You, It's hard to risk your heart, If you're tired of risking it, I've tried to love but I don't give in any trust, I don't feel like I can actually love, I've forgiven my ex's but the hole in my heart is still there.