I want My time and My freedom in their house!?
By mom
@NoorNoor (2131)
India
November 1, 2020 6:07am CST
Living with in laws are hard.But this is our culture.If a married girl stays so long in her mom's home people automatically think she has a problem.I don't say my in laws are evil.But that is a different family from my family. Different thoughts,habits.Apart from i feel I don't have any freedom there.They can't understand because they are old People.I don't like the joint family system because daughter in laws are suffering.In joint family daughter in laws cant spend more time with her husband whenever she wanted to.Why do they want to live everybody in a single house? There are so much.I don't say I can't take care of my husband's parents all I want is My TIME and My FREEDOM.I know I can't get those if I live with their HOME.
14 people like this
19 responses
@jdbces (1845)
• Philippines
1 Nov 20
It's not easy to live with in-laws there are pros and cons but having your own place will give you peace of mind and happiness. It's good to see them once in a while and to take care of them when the time comes but as of now I hope you can convince your husband to live separately.
3 people like this
@prinzcy (32305)
• Malaysia
1 Nov 20
That's why it's encourage to have your own house after being married. Be independent and grow your family your way. However, in some culture, the girls must stay with the in laws. We grow up quite different from the family we're marrying into. Later there will be issues, which is why I don't agree with this. Well, who am I to complain?
3 people like this
@db20747 (43440)
• Washington, District Of Columbia
1 Nov 20
This works out in some cases, my cousins have lived with their inlaws very well. But for others it's a big strain. I would not like this situation. Perhaps you can explain that you need to make other arrangents and begin looking for your own place. Your peace of mind is most important
2 people like this
@Butterfingers (66583)
• India
1 Nov 20
This culture is very less popular now because most prefer nuclear families
2 people like this
@GardenGerty (160698)
• United States
1 Nov 20
I know it is hard but it is the custom there. I hope that things get worked out so that you have some time and space of your own.
2 people like this
@marguicha (223107)
• Chile
1 Nov 20
@NoorNoor WE all want that.
Maybe your husband can help you a bit.
Maybe your husband can help you a bit.1 person likes this
@NoorNoor (2131)
• India
1 Nov 20
@marguicha My husband is helping me but he also wants me to live with them for some years to build terraced house.
@kaylachan (69844)
• Daytona Beach, Florida
1 Nov 20
Is there a reason you and your husband don't rent or buy a place of your own? You should be able to find a place close by. In this way, you have your freedom while being able to check in on your in-laws.
2 people like this
@FayeHazel (40243)
• United States
1 Nov 20
This is a difficult topic. Yes, you deserve your time and space... but this might be a case of differing culture. Is there a way you could move out with your husband?
1 person likes this
@FayeHazel (40243)
• United States
2 Nov 20
@NoorNoor I hope it works for you to have your own home, even if it is close by. Perhaps a gentle reminder to husband is in order?
1 person likes this
@shaggin (72141)
• United States
2 Nov 20
I moved out right after I turned 17. I could stand living with my parents one more day. I can’t imagine living in a house with a ton of people unless it was my husband and our kids. I’m sorry you have to deal with such a difficult situation.
1 person likes this
@luisadannointed (6187)
• Philippines
1 Nov 20
I hope your husband will find a house very soon, in our country it is better to live at the house of the girl if the couples has no budget yet for their own home. They chose to live at the girl house because the husband will not spend more time at home because he needs to work, and the wife will be comfortable staying at home because it is her parents' house, and also clash between in-laws is avoidable because the husband will always come home late and leave home early.
1 person likes this
