How do you deal with a family member dying from cancer?

She'll know you love her just from the way you're treating her. I'm not clear as to whether your Mother is being cared for at home, or in a hospice or hospital, but if she's at home, you should get regular visits from a McMillan Nurse, who can advise you from day to day of what her needs are. I lost my grandson to cancer, two days after Christmas, 1996, when he was just 7 years and 3 months old. He was weary, and hot most of the time, over the final month of his life, and my daughter-in-law and son always put an oscillating fan near him, and he just lie on the sofa watching his favourite television programmes. He was taken to bed at night, which I think will be more difficult with your mother, so perhaps a sofa bed, or a downstairs bed which she can be more easily moved to. Other than that, it's good to spend time just sitting with them and letting them tell you their feelings because you can never imagine what it might be like to be in that position, especially mentally. Work with the McMillan Nurse, and tell her all your experiences of each day, and she will guide you through it. I'm so sorry to hear your news. I have a very close friend who, at just under 46 years old, doesn't know yet how long he's going to last with the disease, and whatever age, I think that must be the most daunting thing to ever have to encounter in one's life, knowing you're going to leave this world sometime soon, but not really knowing when. Please accept my sympathies. Times like this are very hard for both the patient and their loved ones. Bless you. x

i think the only thng u can do is to just be by her side and let her feel how much u care. it's really hard to let go somone close to us, but accept the reality and get going. give her all love and care and do watever she likes doing most. listen her out, let her heart out, endure her nags..... i lost my grandmom last december, she suffered from cancer and we discontinued the chemo, for she cudnt withstand it. it was really painful seeing her suffering, suffering day in day out severely. we tried to give her all love and care and let me tell u in the process it was we who were being elevated. she imparted a halo and we were enlightened!!!

I was told the same thing about my Uncle back in 99. The hospital will keep on raising the amount of morphine that they give her so she won't be in pain. I just spent all the time I could with my uncle and kept him company. We played a lot of cards and games. Just be there for your grandma and don't treat her as if she is sick but treat her as you normally would