Short Story: The deepness of honesty; the shallowness of lieing.

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Old Ted Turnip, was 89 years young now. For all of his long life, he had wondered about honesty. How honest do you have to be, to be honest? At one stage, of his life, Ted had taken on a "second job", umpiring in his local football league. He was paid a small stipend for his doing this, which barely covered his costs. What with his petrol costs, and his laundry costs, in washing his uniforms? The first year, of his doing this, he declared the extra income, on his Tax return, and he was hit with a much bigger tax bill, that year. All of the other umpires told him not to be so stupid. This job, is sort of a hobby income, and not taxable. "Do not declare it, any more", they all advised him. And so, for the next fifteen years of his umpiring, in this small local league, he did not declare this small extra income, on his tax return. Ted was a good umpire. Eventually, a talent scout, saw and heard of his honesty, and of the fairness, of his umpiring. He then moved up, and became an umpire, at the highest level in his country. Still, though, he did not declare this considerable extra income now either. A little dishonesty grew bigger. This time though, he got caught out in a tax audit, into his tax return. They crucified him, and he had to pay penalty taxes, a large fine, and also back taxes, for all of the years of his umpiring, since that first year, twenty-two years ago now. After this, he became a lot more scrupulously honest, in all things. His old dead mother, had been a very honest lady too, but she did have one small dishonest act, that she always did though. Whenever the Post Office missed cancelling the stamp on a letter, that came to her in her letterbox, because they had missed stamping it altogether, or had carelessly placed the stamp on another part of the envelope, and not on the actual stamp, she would carefully soak it off, and reuse it on a letter of her own. She would always laughingly say, when her son, Ted, questioned her on the honesty of this act. "Well, if the Post Office, is so stupidly inept, and careless, someone has to make them pay for their mistakes. There is no harm in my doing this; otherwise, a good stamp is wasted. 'Waste not, want not', is what you should live by, my son, not the complete letter of honesty, which does not apply here." Every day, now, even at his advanced age, Ted would go for a walk, with his dog, "Liehere". He had called his dog this, because, it would always try to lie down "here", wherever it was. Ted had a small neat cottage garden, in his small two-bedroom unit. The weeds had become too much for him lately, though, and so he had been thinking of what to do. Somebody had told him to cover his small garden bed over with stones, as this would prevent most of the weeds from coming up there. He had no money, and no back, to do the job of laying all of these stones, even if he could have bought a meter's worth. And so, he came up with another idea. Every day, as he walked, he would pick up two small stones, and pocket them. They were either on the footpath, or on the road. They belong to no-one, he had reasoned, and I am actually doing a community job, a good deed, a favour, to my neighbours, by my removing them from the bitumen road, or the concrete footpath, as they surely are a hazard there, for cars, or for pedestrians alike. And so, over the course of the next two years, Ted, had brought home nearly 1400 small stones. His small garden bed was now covered with them, and no more weeds raised their ugly heads now there either. One particular day, some rough looking guy, had asked him what he had just picked up, and placed into his pocket. "Show me, now," he had said, menacingly, "You stole something from my yard, didn't you?" Ted, too, was a rather clever old chap. He had already planned for this. He kept a five-cent coin, in his back pocket, and he pulled it out now, and he said then to the angry-eyed man, "I just picked up this small coin." 'Waste not, want not,' as my old mother used to tell me," he said now, with a wink, of his old eye, showing the tough guy, his coin. "Do you want it, my son? Here take it, make good use of it too." "Na," the man, said, now more relaxed, "You keep it, have a good day." Ted, had now added to his dishonesty, by telling a small lie. Then, suddenly, one day, not long after this, maybe, just a couple of months later, while walking his dog once again, now having just turned 91, Ted, bent over to pick up yet one more small stone, as it was a compulsive habit for him now to do, and a part of his daily routine, even though, he no longer needed any more stones, for his small plot of garden. Poor Ted, picked up the stone, and tried, to stand himself up again, straight. He felt his heart pulling at him. He had had a massive heart attack, and he died right there and there, on the spot. Shortly after, he found himself in God's court. God's henchmen were assessing, and reassessing, his life. Ted had lived a fairly good life. He had been community-minded. He had been a regular churchgoer. He was a volunteer worker, in many charities. For many years, many years, he had been a blood donor too. The thing was, though, he had always had a slight misconception where honesty was concerned. Honesty is honesty. If it does not go deep enough, it makes a lie of your life. God then called in a witness. It was Ted's old mother. She admitted that she had probably been partly responsible for her son's actions here. God then made his judgement, both mother and son, were to go to a reform school, on the outskirts of heaven, and to pick weeds, from gardens paths there, for the next two years. "Honesty can only be honesty, when it is honesty," God said. "Otherwise, it is a lie. No matter how shallow that lie is, it remains a lie too." Ted, did not mind his sentence too much, as he would be spending it with his own beloved mother. They both had the same lesson to learn! Photo Credit: The photo used in this article belongs to the author of this piece. Honesty must remain honesty to stay honesty. Nothing should ever be chipped away from this truth.