First attempt at a sonnet!

@indexer (4852)
Leicester, England
March 15, 2021 7:28am CST
I thought I'd have a go at writing a Petrarchan sonnet - there's a first time for everything! The theme for this week's session of the "Hinckley Scribblers" writing group is "Wind", so I based this on Zephyrus, the Greek god of the West Wind - hence the classical and other references. To Zephyrus, the West Wind Psyche you bore, not too heavy a load Took her to Cupid, the Ancients did sing. The best way to fly, for her just the thing, Not your fault the pain that thenceforward flowed. Pilgrims afoot on the old frog and toad, Geoffrey heaped praise on you, herald of Spring. Writers a-plenty have blessed what you bring - Young Percy the poet wrote you an ode. For some reason things do not seem the same This western wind now’s an icy, cold blast Why did it all go so horribly wrong? That wretched jet stream is what we must blame. Mild, gentle breezes – a thing of the past? Poor Zephyrus – have you sung your last song? © John Welford
2 people like this
2 responses
@choijungeun (2629)
• Hangzhou, China
15 Mar 21
This is so great,but to be honest,i don't like the west wind.In fact,the history of human being is not the seasons in a year.After a winter of the history passed,it maybe a worse cold winter is waiting for us. I learned it from the Chinese history.the corrupted KMT was overthrown by Chinese people,but a more evil and bloody regime conquered China,that's the red nazi.They're worse than the KMT,They're not just corrupted but also a regime which deprived most of the freedom and human rights from Chinese people.Now they have the nuke bombs and millions of troops,they're the invincible Leviathan and the Fourth Reich in this world.
@indexer (4852)
• Leicester, England
15 Mar 21
An interesting response - not quite what I was expecting!
• Hangzhou, China
15 Mar 21
@indexer As a learner of the poetry,i think there are too many poetry images.I don't know the Greek tales or the Western Ancient Allusion.But i think it will be better to decrease some images and condense it. Meantime,the topic should be shown up brightly,that will make this sonnet be better.But the ending of this sonnet is very awesome,it remains the room to let the readers to think and ruminate.That's why i said"This is so great." Surely,i only know a little about the Sonnet,it's not professional,i just say what i think about it.
1 person likes this
@indexer (4852)
• Leicester, England
15 Mar 21
@choijungeun You can't "condense" a sonnet - it has to be 14 10-syllable lines with a set rhyme scheme. The allusions - to Greek myth and Chaucer's Canterbury Tales - will not be known to everyone, it is true, but the subject of the poem belongs to Greek myth and has been referred to by many poets and other writers all down the ages. This poem will make more sense to someone with a traditional Western education than someone educated elsewhere.
@eileenleyva (27560)
• Philippines
1 Sep 21
Reminds me of Percy Bysshe Shelley's Ode to the West Wind.