I'm so depressed

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many of my friends who just want to know about my problems and then used as gossip. And when I vent, I'm always ignored, ignored, and they even talk about their own problems. sometimes they also always blame me, "it's your fault" "so don't get mad" "ask who you are" etc., I think that's what makes us down, especially if we have problems, we need advice and good listeners, but they are dropped. I feel too lazy to talk to anyone because I already know how it will end, and they don't respond. Even now, when I have a problem, I'm always held back, really, I don't have friends I can trust, usually I talk to my diary or write it myself in my cellphone's notes, sometimes in this quora apk, hehe, even though no one has answered, at least I can voice it out.