How Do You Feel About Kids Being Forced To Be Affectionate To Others?
@danishcanadian (28955)
Canada
July 18, 2021 4:00pm CST
I grew up in a generation where parents could get away with saying things like "give Aunt Betty a kiss. She'll be hurt if you don't." or "Don't run when Uncle Ned tries to hug you. He hugs you cause he loves you, and fill feel hurt, otherwise." OK, let's get this straight. From the time I was a little child, I did not like being touched or touching other people as a form of communication. It always made me uncomfortable, but since the touching was "socially acceptable" the grownups didn't care how I felt about it. As long as no one was sexually harassing me, what was the problem?
Now as an adult I REFUSE to be physically affectionate in any way with anyone besides my husband. Obviously hubby and I have a mutually consenting relationship, and that consent did not end with our vows. If one of us is in the mood for anything from a hug to sex, the other still has the right to decline. We are both legally blind, so sneaking in for a hug isn't really an option, but we have ways of knowing the other is there. I'm not saying there is much declining of affection in our marriage, just that we still recognize that my body is mine, and his body is his. Those in happily partnered and consenting marriages will know what I mean. LOL
My point is this. My husband and I are in a mutually consenting relationship, children and their elders are not. Yes the elders keep the children alive, but this should not be at the price of children's bodily autonomy. Kids should not be taught to use their bodies to satisfy other people.
If kids are naturally affectionate and they want to hug and love all over people (with the consent of the people of course), that's great. I just don't believe it should be forced.
What do you think?
7 people like this
6 responses
@TerribleMan (579)
• India
3 Aug 21
We cannot force anybody to have a affectionate relationship with any person. Each person will have to choose for himself.
But it seems society in general has its views. There is such a thing as socially acceptable. But I feel I go with our instincts
@mayka123 (16837)
• India
1 Aug 21
I had never forced my kids to hug elders or go close to them forcefully. I just let them do as they liked. And I would never let elders forcefully hug my kids if the kids were not comfortable. We should let the kids take their own decisions and not force them to do something they don't want to do.
@eileenleyva (27560)
• Philippines
19 Jul 21
Varies in every culture. The Arabs even kiss each other. I do not take it against the elders who try to rear the children in respecting the elders.
But of course hugging is a personal prerogative. Each one may refuse an embrace if one is not inclined to do so. My daughter is a hugger but I detest touch. Am probably bordering autistic when it comes to skin sensitivity.
@kaylachan (74430)
• Daytona Beach, Florida
18 Jul 21
I was never forced to touch anyone. But, I know of kids who are raised in that way, and I agree it's wrong. Children have the right to say 'no' and should be tought this. But, because they aren't, it leads to other problems later in life.
@LeaPea2417 (37473)
• Toccoa, Georgia
18 Jul 21
I agree they shouldn't be forced. I grew up in a very affectionate group of relatives on my Dad's side. Anytime we would get together with any of them, we would hug , kiss cheeks. So, I tend to be more that way today. I don't mind it.
