Another stage of life
By snowy
@snowy22315 (181986)
United States
August 24, 2021 2:46pm CST
So, anyway I was talking to my mom about getting on the list for an assisted living sort of place, primarily for my dad as he is not doing extremely well..just unmotivated to do anything for himself. Apparently, although no one bothered to tell me, they are on the waitlist for a facility near them that has memory care. It is quite nice and I really like it as the whole front section is dedicated to the view of Lake Erie. Of course during the winter inside will be the place to be, as those winds coming off the lake will be frigid. The average wait is about 3 years though..and not sure when they went on, but it has probably only been a few months..so who knows whether they will ever get there? When he passes away, since she isn't social being there would probably be the best thing for her.
14 people like this
13 responses
@snowy22315 (181986)
• United States
25 Aug 21
@rebelann It does, but not really the same as having another person around.
1 person likes this
@snowy22315 (181986)
• United States
24 Aug 21
If she stays in the house alone she would probably die of lonlieness. She is used to having someone around all the time. it is not good for people just to have no one to talk to on a regular basis, besides that she has physical issues herself and I am not sure how she could cope with being there..laundry is in the basement, etc. not really a good set up.
2 people like this
@anya12adwi (9817)
• India
25 Aug 21
Assisted living place? That sounds good!! I don't think we have one in India.. Is it different from old age homes?
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@snowy22315 (181986)
• United States
25 Aug 21
Well not really, but some places have different levels of care within the same facility.
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@snowy22315 (181986)
• United States
25 Aug 21
@anya12adwi It is safer than being at home for most of them.
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@anya12adwi (9817)
• India
25 Aug 21
@snowy22315 Is it safe for older people?? Do they manage well??
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@Juliaacv (51461)
• Canada
24 Aug 21
My parents had a discussion with 1 of my aunts in 2009 that if my Dad passed before my Mom (my Dad was terminal at that time) they wanted my Mom to go to a home on the river, very close to where my oldest brother lives. The location sounds similar to what your parents are looking at, overlooking the water, lots of green grass and a big lawn. Regardless of the season, there will be alot to see, especially overlooking Lake Erie.
My mother took it upon herself to take a room there in 2018. I was pleased that she was there, as it told me that she had accepted this stage of her life, whether or not she could communicate that. And the same for both of your parents. I wish them both the very best.
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@snowy22315 (181986)
• United States
24 Aug 21
Thank you, honestly I think she would do fine there if she could make friends there, and she can be quite friendly. She is so good on the computer, that I think she would be the star of the facility..lol. Everyone would probably be asking her to show them how to facetime, use Alexa etc.
My dad, it is just a matter of keeping him safe and comfortable I think.
My dad, it is just a matter of keeping him safe and comfortable I think.1 person likes this
@snowy22315 (181986)
• United States
24 Aug 21
@Juliaacv Yes, well we will see what the coming months bring?
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@Juliaacv (51461)
• Canada
24 Aug 21
@snowy22315 Safety is a huge concern, and you noted that this facility has dedicated care for that.
Them making these 'plans' is also a good way for you to come to those terms. It took me a couple of years to realize that my mother's home was a facility, but after we set up her room it really was her home. We had lots of personal effects, a comfortable chair and ottoman, a nice bookshelf and lots of pictures.
1 person likes this
@JudyEv (341752)
• Rockingham, Australia
25 Aug 21
It can be hard to find somewhere nice for elderly parents. We trying to organise ourselves so such decisions won't fall on our sons but when one of goes and the other gets dementia, who knows what will happen? Hopefully that day is still some way off.
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@snowy22315 (181986)
• United States
25 Aug 21
Yes, after a certain age you never really know though do you? Friend has always asked me to do a will and even though I think my chances of ding in the next several years are slim..better to be prepared I guess. It can always be amended.
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@JudyEv (341752)
• Rockingham, Australia
25 Aug 21
@snowy22315 It can be awful for those left if you don't leave a will. In our country, the state takes over and takes a huge swag of whatever assets you might have. Then you have rellies quibbling over bits and pieces. That's not always the case of course.
@snowy22315 (181986)
• United States
24 Aug 21
Thanks, I think even if they have to wait for a place, hopefully respite care will be available in awhile.
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@snowy22315 (181986)
• United States
24 Aug 21
It probably won't be too soon, but hopefully when it is really needed there will be a space or two available.
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@CarolDM (203422)
• Nashville, Tennessee
24 Aug 21
@snowy22315 I certainly hope so.
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@kaylachan (71556)
• Daytona Beach, Florida
24 Aug 21
I wish her the best of luck in getting in. My mother-in-law spent the last five years of her life in a nursing home, too. She was a very social person.
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@snowy22315 (181986)
• United States
24 Aug 21
My mother isn't but she can be...if she feels comfortable.
@Marilynda1225 (83074)
• United States
25 Aug 21
Hopefully they'll be able to get into the assisted living facility before a 3 year wait. It sounds like it has good ambience with a lake view. Maybe your dad will be more motivated if he's surrounded by more people?
@snowy22315 (181986)
• United States
24 Aug 21
I think so. I just hope they get a chance to utilize it.
@snowy22315 (181986)
• United States
24 Aug 21
He has dementia. He was never that much of a reader. I would describe him as a watcher.
@snowy22315 (181986)
• United States
24 Aug 21
I do too. We went there a couple of years ago for my Great Aunt's 100th birthday and I was impressed with it.
@jefferson126 (3314)
• Shenzhen, China
25 Aug 21
hope they can get there smoothly.good luck.
1 person likes this
@snowy22315 (181986)
• United States
25 Aug 21
Thanks, I hope if they do get to go there my dad is not too out of it to enjoy it
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