I need advice
By Eunike
@veunike (331)
Hong Kong
September 24, 2021 2:58am CST
Hi MyLot friends. Doing good today?
It's been a tough time for the past two weeks where I have to deal with my family problem.
Since my parents passed away 2 years ago, everything has changed!
One of the problems is that my youngest sister (22yo) told me that she wants to get married to her boyfriend soon. As her oldest sister, I suggest not get married too early and enjoy her time to explore life and experience many things because I think she is too early to be married.
I know she lives alone, has no parents around and perhaps she feels lonely. And I think she wants to settle down at this young age just for a companion. She doesn't want to hear my advice and still want to get married.
Do you guys have some advice for me? Thank you in advance and I appreciate all your responses.
13 people like this
12 responses
@solidcodes (1766)
• Philippines
24 Sep 21
If her boyfriend is financially stable.
and mentally stable.
And fear GOD
and love her.
Go ahead let them.
If they are not financially stable forget it.
It is heading to a disaster
4 people like this
@cacay1 (83743)
• Cagayan De Oro, Philippines
28 Sep 21
@veunike it seems you're not close to each other. It should be better to meet the guy or your sister to introduce her bf via messenger call to get connected. In such away, you could build friendship with her bf. He might be a shy type.
1 person likes this
@veunike (331)
• Hong Kong
27 Sep 21
I never know about her boyfriend. She juat told me that she had a boyfriend. I never talk to him or meet in person for i know i am far away from them. They live in Indonesia and i live in Hong Kong. But it doesn't mean that she can't do a video call, isn't it? She never discuss and she go her own. They work in the same factory and i know nothing whether her bf is financially stable or not.
3 people like this
@allknowing (139535)
• India
24 Sep 21
What about the boy who she is in love with? Is he a responsible person and if so I think their marriage should work.
3 people like this
@allknowing (139535)
• India
27 Sep 21
@veunike I think you should leave her alone You have done your duty
1 person likes this
@veunike (331)
• Hong Kong
27 Sep 21
@allknowing yes, im done here and i assume that she know what she did for the rest of her life.
1 person likes this
@veunike (331)
• Hong Kong
27 Sep 21
i know nothing about her boyfriend's condition. She knew that i just want her to think again but seem like she don't agree with me so she go her own. Never discuss about her plans too. I'm not saying that i want to be seen as sombody, i just don't understand the way she think. She choose to discuss with other people out of family than with her own siblings. She just came to me to ask a blessing and agree with whatever she think is right but never tell me anything. In matter of fact when she needs money she ask me but about all this stuff she forget me. So what do you call it?
Now, since she want to go on her own, i let her go. Life will teach her.
1 person likes this
@toniganzon (72551)
• Philippines
24 Sep 21
If your sister’s mind is made up I am sorry to say that there’s nothing you can do about it. After all she’s already an adult. I have been in the same situation many years ago but there was nothing I could do but to accept the fact.
2 people like this
@veunike (331)
• Hong Kong
27 Sep 21
yes, true. Accept the fact. The most terrible thing is that she never discuss everything with me including the proposes that her boyfriend did yesterday. She just told me that on Sunday her bf wants to propose her 7 hours before it happen. I feel nothing as somebody after many years i took care of her and support her. She choose to trust somebody out of the family rather than her own family. Silly!
1 person likes this
@toniganzon (72551)
• Philippines
27 Sep 21
@veunike it’s because she knew you’d disagree. People would talk to those who agree with their decision.
1 person likes this
@veunike (331)
• Hong Kong
27 Sep 21
@toniganzon absolutely. But its okay, life will teach her
1 person likes this
@arunima25 (88359)
• Bangalore, India
24 Sep 21
Your sister is an adult and has made up her mind. You can only have a polite conversation with her. You can't change her mind. You can just hope and pray that her boyfriend is the right person for her.
3 people like this
@arunima25 (88359)
• Bangalore, India
24 Sep 21
@MALUSE That is right. We can only put our opinion in a polite way. Rest depends on her. She has the right to decide things for herself.
1 person likes this
@arunima25 (88359)
• Bangalore, India
27 Sep 21
@veunike You have done your part beautifully as a caring sister
. I am sure that she would appreciate it soon.
. I am sure that she would appreciate it soon.
@jefferson126 (3362)
• Shenzhen, China
24 Sep 21
No offense,i suggest you to make a careful survey concerning your sister's marriage,everything is relative,not absolute.maybe she meet proper man to marry,maybe not.but the next step should be based on careful survey.if the man is a good man,you should wish them happiness.if the man is bad,then you can be against their marriage.It depends.by the way,you may give your advice based on respect to your sister's mind.good luck.
3 people like this
@jefferson126 (3362)
• Shenzhen, China
27 Sep 21
@veunike ,i completely understand you,i also had a younger brother,now he grew up and no longer easy to take my advice.I felt a bit sad,but i had no idea,he was adult now,can determine his own life.I can give my advice,but can not impose it to him.anyway wish your sister a good luck.hope she meet a proper man.
@veunike (331)
• Hong Kong
27 Sep 21
i do my best to give her advice. A lot of advices but seems like she still want to marry with him. You know, love is blind sometimes so let her go and one day she will understand. I know mysister better than anyone else. But since she close to her bf and no parents around, she made,up hee mind and she's no longer see me as her sibling after what ive been sacrifice to raise her.
Everybody has to choose for their own life. So nothing i can do to change her mind.
1 person likes this
@m_audrey6788 (58472)
• Germany
24 Sep 21
I think if they are both working and earning good. I think you should let them handle their life but if they are not. Then, there might be a problem in the future but life is like that sometimes even if you are married with good and stable financial ability there will still be problems and they must solve it on their own. They will only learn when they are there in the situation 
1 person likes this
@veunike (331)
• Hong Kong
27 Sep 21
yes, you are right. I understand this alot coz ive been through this. What i mean is please be more careful. Marriage is a covenant with God. So don't play a fool. She should ask God first before she take this,step. Im not saying i do not agree with whom she want to live the reat of hee life. But we can't predict everything tahts gonna happen. So it is important to always ask God before ww chose to decide something.
Anyway, we have different faith. So its kind of hard to tell her
1 person likes this
@cacay1 (83743)
• Cagayan De Oro, Philippines
28 Sep 21
Just give her your blessings so she and her future husband could live in better life. At least there's someone to take care of her, or come what may.
@veunike (331)
• Hong Kong
27 Sep 21
i dont know about the guy. She never introduce me to him as her sister. She only told me that she had a bf, she want to get married,and ask me to bless her and support her. So what will you do if you were me? Every country or vilage or whatever it is called has a culture.
Anyway i just told her what she need to know and the choice is hers.
@asianlady (2694)
• Ireland
30 Sep 21
I'm on your side and thinks the same that she is too young yet. But, it's hard to stop this kind of attitude because I know your sister thinks that's the easy way out without thinking that getting married is not as easy as 1, 2, 3.
