Abuse is not okay Break the silence.

I hope that those who are victims must step up

I and my son are survivors.

@VoiceofTruth7 When I was married I was in an abusive relationship and did tell me what was going on but they did not understand.

Thank you for posting this. My daughter was a victim of abuse and when asked why she didn't speak up sooner she told me this: "I knew how he presented himself. So perfect, so charming, so not the type of person who would do such horrible things. And I was afraid. He had threatened me, the family, and my animals if I ever spoke up. There were so many times I wanted to say something, that I hoped that the bruises, wounds, and my withdraw from those around me would catch someone's attention and they would ask. But when that did happen I lied to them. I lied to them to protect myself from a harsher beating, I lied to protect those I love." She also said "At times it didn't even seem like it was happening to me. I guess to protect myself I started to disassociate. So it was more like a movie...instead it being what was actually happening to me" What I've learned as a parent of a victim is that it can be very hard to spot an abuser. They are manipulative. The victim will often protect themselves in whatever way they think will work. In some cases, the abuser has broken the victim down to the point they do not believe they have any worth and that no one will love them because they are broken. I know from talking to my daughter that the abuse did not start out physically. It was a slow burn. Comments to break her confidence, excuses to keep her from talking to friends and family were the main. The best advice I can give is this: Look for extreme jealousy, possessiveness, controlling behavior, accusations of cheating, control of what the person is wearing, control of the person's life outside of the relationship, and humiliating or embarrassing the person in front of others.