I need some help / opinions please

Tweet

I am looking for some advice here and I am sorry if this ends up being long. I have 2 sons and their birthdays are 12/28 and 12/29. I am having a joint birthday party for them. My first question is: I have a very close friend and her son's birthday is also 12/29 being between Christmas & New Years makes it very hard to plan a party. Is it wrong of me to plan my son's party before finding out when she is planning her son's? I have ask her and she told me she doesn't know yet. This will be her son's 2nd birthday and my oldest will be 4 and my youngest will be 1. What do you think? My 2nd question is: This also concerns the birthday party. My husband is adopted and we are in contact with all of his parents except his birth father which we do not know. When we have gotten all of his parents together before it is very tense. When I say all of his parents I am meaning his adopted father and step-mother, adopted mother and step-father, and biological mother and her boyfriend. Would it be wrong if my husband and I ask them to please either be civil to each other or to avoid each other at the party? We have already had to speak to them about ill words about each other in front of our kids and I don't want them to have to witness this.