My plans

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I'm trying to write a poem and finish my article which I started months ago. And maybe I'll have to draw something even if that's my waterloo. Lol. And I want to continue painting/drawing again, maybe on a canvass but when I have the materials na. I told a friend too, I want to learn how to crochet. I used to be fine with cross stitchimg, but it's been awhile... Mmm... There are so much to do, but where do I begin.... Lol.. Life is so nakakaloka. I just pray God heals me sooner. I wanna start working. It's just saddens me, my doctor's hasn't given me go signals yet. God knows I'm trying to find ways, unfortunately ayaw ni Lord. I took the interviews, I'm fine. But when i took the exams, I'm not ashamed to inform you, I failed this time.... I never failed my test during my interviews. My niece would tell me, ma, hindi ka pa ready, you have to get well muna. And mom and my doctors told me, sige try mo to take the test/interviews, f you pass, your well na but If you fail, don't hurry, atleast we warned you... They said, it just means your body and mind is not ready yet. Don't force yourself, they always remind me. I understand, but I miss working lalo na some people thinks I'm super OK. They even say, I look as if I've never gotten sick, kaya they think. I'm well. Like my aunt said, I may be sick but I don't like to look like one, that's why I try to look postiryosa.... She wears makeup and fixes her hair. If you look at her, she even looks healthy. There's an advantage when you try to fix yourself... Lol. When you're sick but you fix up yourself, everyone thinks your well and you don't need help. But if you're sick and you look sugabba, they say paawa effect ka, same they won't help you because they say, you rely on other people. Damn if you do, damn if you don't. That's life... You don't know where you stand... Kaya, Lord. Tty will be done. Lord, I offer my life to you. Heal me, Lord. Life is difficult, but You are my healer. Amen.