Men from my past and my husband

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When I was younger before I got with my husband I remember a lot of random dates with men I can barely remember now. Most of them didn't go past a date or two. I just couldn't seem to find a man I really liked. There were two guys during that time that I genuinely liked. One I probably could have ended up marrying if I didn't have reservations about moving to be with him and actually trusted him. I just knew I couldn't trust him. He wanted me to pick up my life and move to Maryland where he was stationed in the air force at the time. He was originally from Louisiana. I often wonder about him. That relationship would have been too much drama for me and I'm glad I didn't end up with him. The other one was a guy I liked but he worked a lot and he told me he didn't have time for dating and I just said fine and left it at that. He was a really nice guy but clearly, it wasn't meant to be. I occasionally wonder what happened to him too. The thing is with a lot of the guys I dated most of them were shorter than me so when I brought my 6'2" husband home to introduce to my mom the first thing she said was "wow, he's taller than the other guys" I about lost it. I never cared about height. I like taller guys but I never cared much about height. A guy didn't have to be taller than me. I am 5'7" so while I'm not super tall I'm on the taller side for a girl but definitely not so tall that I would have issues finding a taller guy. I just didn't care. Height isn't everything. I never understood why some women have huge standards in that area. I would much rather have a sweet and caring man than someone who is super tall or is super attractive. If I'm being honest I never cared for men who were perfect looking. I tend to like men who are kind of more rugged looking and aren't so perfect in looks. My husband actually as far as attraction goes is the type of guy I'm usually attracted to he is tall, has dark hair, and blue eyes. I had preferences when it came to looks but it was never everything. I think the only thing I was certain about as far as what I was looking for was they had to be able to read and write fairly well and had to be at least as smart as me (which I'm not some genius I'm on the average side of intelligence) and they couldn't smoke or do drugs and I didn't want a man who swore like a sailor. I also wanted them to be my age up to 10 yrs older but no older and I would have dated a little younger if I liked them enough but basically, I wanted the guy to be somewhat mature but not so much older that we were at different points in our lives. The issue I had with younger guys is that a lot of them were more immature but I would have made exceptions for a guy who could show me he was more mature. I didn't rule them out. The handful of things a guy needed to have were fairly reasonable I felt. I didn't want someone who was a smoker or a heavy drinker and I didn't want someone who did drugs. I wanted to be able to talk to someone who was at least as smart as I am. Not to say if they can't spell or read well they're stupid I just wanted someone that I could connect with better. Looks were never a major factor for me because looks fade. I wanted someone who was a decent human but not perfect. I wanted someone that genuinely cared about me as much as I cared about them. I wanted someone to grow old with. I wasn't perfect and I didn't expect them to be either. I met a lot of great guys that things didn't work out with but ended up becoming friends with a lot of them. One guy is a pretty good friend of mine now. He appreciated my honesty when I told him I didn't feel that spark between us and he was grateful I didn't lie to him. Turns out that was one of the best moves I could have made as he recently came out as asexual and trans so I'd say that was definitely not meant to be. My husband isn't perfect and drives me nuts but he is most of the things I was looking for. I'm glad I got with him and not one of the other guys I was interested in. I am especially glad I didn't move to Maryland to be with someone I know it would not have worked out with. I really crushed on that guy but my gut told me I couldn't trust him and turns out I was right. He ended up getting married and having a kid with someone else and he was running around on her. I remember him talking to me after his kid and he started saying stuff that I felt like could have been flirting but I have never been good at determining when someone was flirting with me so I brushed it off but nope he was definitely trying to start something back up with me despite us both being in relationships and having children with other people. If he knew me at all he'd know that's not the type of person I was and I thought he did know me better but I guess not.