The dark side of me
By vanny
@vandana7 (100519)
India
July 19, 2022 11:45pm CST
Here everybody thinks I am so nice and sweet...(I am presuming you all think like that about me).
But trust me, I fret, fume, blow my top, use foul language...hold grudges...and quite often.
One reason I want to live in Ooty. Nobody would understand what I was cussing so no fighting.
This dark side of me, is in addition to my dark skin color, and calculating nature.
So yeah, yesterday I planned to complete the tax return. I did everything right (as per my thinking). TIS (a new statement given by the government of India), had duplication of income.... what does vanny do, use foul language in front of the auditor. Well...sh it was the word. THANK GOD IT WAS ONLY THAT.
@TheHorse, you can never repair me...
I am beyond repairs..sigh. I justify it as ...I have suffered too much and that is my only weapon.
20 people like this
20 responses
@LindaOHio (181177)
• United States
20 Jul 22
I don't blame you for being upset. I would have been too! Especially after being so careful with your calculations.
7 people like this
@vandana7 (100519)
• India
20 Jul 22
My bosses used to swear, and honestly I learned some of the vulgar words from them. In some ways, it is integral part of the business community out here. When you work with them, for 8 years it is bound to rub off. That is no excuse but I seem to use that as one. The other one is...achievers are allowed to be bad. Yet another is, if I bottle up, my health will give way. Oh how I love me.
4 people like this
@marguicha (223720)
• Chile
20 Jul 22
There are some situations in which the only word (or words) is a real foul one. I´m an expert. I love words and I used to write in my native language. I don´t like to be called "senior". That´s not the word for me. The words with which I feel identified is "ol´witch".
6 people like this
@vandana7 (100519)
• India
20 Jul 22
It is to the south of my city...there people converse in Tamil, and I know only 8 words in Tamil, which are Yenna sol re, what are you saying, vanda ..I don't want,venom, I want, yenaka teriyada I don't know, aamaa...yes. I think I will survive beautifully cussing as loud as I can in my mother tongue. Some of the bad words I know are really really serious.
6 people like this
@much2say (55901)
• Los Angeles, California
20 Jul 22
Surely nice and sweet vampires do exist 
.
Oh, we all blow our top every now and then. I seem to be patient on the outside, but really I can "lose it" super quick on the inside. I can control the foul language (I have kids, I must set the example, so it's habit) . . . but with certain friends it will blurt out 
.
.
Oh, we all blow our top every now and then. I seem to be patient on the outside, but really I can "lose it" super quick on the inside. I can control the foul language (I have kids, I must set the example, so it's habit) . . . but with certain friends it will blurt out .4 people like this
@vandana7 (100519)
• India
21 Jul 22
Ah...kids or no kids, I have thrown those words around. Our building watchman forgot to close the tap, and the staircase was covered with water. Kids under 8 were terrified of getting down the steps as there is no lift to the terrace. What does vanny do? What the hell are you doing....with really angry tone and looks...the little jumped at me from third step..so scared was he.
3 people like this
@wolfgirl569 (107859)
• Marion, Ohio
20 Jul 22
The ones here would pay no attention to that.
4 people like this
@vandana7 (100519)
• India
20 Jul 22
For some strange reason, I have found it easier to pick the foul language at your end, but am unable to improve on the rest of the language. I remember I used the word in my regular office when the printer stopped. People came to me and asked me what it meant. I said it means poop. For the next two to three weeks, everybody was kinda...how can she be so uncultured.
4 people like this
@vandana7 (100519)
• India
21 Jul 22
@wolfgirl569 Evil Grin...with friends like you, I am never gonna improve. LOL
3 people like this
@wolfgirl569 (107859)
• Marion, Ohio
21 Jul 22
@vandana7 I think you are very cultured. You know words in another language.
4 people like this
@thislittlepennyearns (62912)
• Defuniak Springs, Florida
20 Jul 22
I use to make the fishermen who came to the tackle shop blush with my language.
5 people like this
@vandana7 (100519)
• India
20 Jul 22
I feel ashamed but I hate my plans being disrupted. Yesterday I was determined that my tax returns should be completed. I had stayed up late in the nights to get details right, verified them several times over before going to the auditor. I was not aware about TIS. Now, I am left to wonder what my auditor is thinking about me. Well, not thinking only...discussing about me with others. He is not a stranger...he is in my social group. I like to maintain some distance because I know how I have turned out.
4 people like this
@arunima25 (87855)
• Bangalore, India
21 Jul 22
Ooty would be a wonderful place to live especially after retirement when you want to be close to Nature and away from the hustle and bustle of the mad City.
We are planning to sit this weekend and file our tax returns. Well, husband does most part of it
3 people like this
@vandana7 (100519)
• India
26 Jul 22
@arunima25 Yeah - about 35 odd years ago, when we wanted to set our roots, we considered Bangalore, but rejected it because of high cost of living. Indore was the second favorite actually but we had literally nobody there, and that worked against it. Even today, climate and cost of living wise, Indore and Nasik (Deolali to be precise) score over Hyderabad. Not sure it was the wisest move, but here we are.
1 person likes this
@arunima25 (87855)
• Bangalore, India
25 Jul 22
@vandana7 Weather wise Bangalore is a heaven but then cost of living is high and you have the worst traffic in the world. Now water crisis is a real concern here.
1 person likes this
@GardenGerty (160879)
• United States
20 Jul 22
Sometimes stuff just pops right out. I am sorry about your taxes.
3 people like this
@rollylolly (2843)
• India
21 Jul 22
I don't have a habit of using fowl words but I can totally understand your situation and anyone in your place will be pissed of in such situation. I can totally relate. Being cool all the time is not possible.
3 people like this
@lovebuglena (44713)
• Staten Island, New York
21 Jul 22
I remember hearing that cursing is good for our health. If that is actually true then perhaps we should do it more often.
1 person likes this
@vandana7 (100519)
• India
23 Jul 22
@lovebuglena Request vs.Demand. I think demand is more to my liking. Evil Grin
1 person likes this
@lovebuglena (44713)
• Staten Island, New York
22 Jul 22
@vandana7 You should request a refund.
1 person likes this
@innertalks (22071)
• Australia
21 Jul 22
We all seem to have two sides of us, but I do like to only display the good side of me to people.
I try to control the bad side from coming out too far.
There is a certain power in words, but we should try to use them lovingly, rather than powerfully.
Each word that you use is connected to something in you, and is pulled into use by you for a certain reason behind each word.
When you have power behind a word, it fills the word with power, but when you speak with love, power does not so much fill the word, but is more sent to the other person as a gentle breeze, rather than as a forceful pushing shove.
Most people prefer being caressed with words, rather than being bashed with them, and so I try to speak only nice words to others, as well as to myself.
@vandana7 (100519)
• India
21 Jul 22
You explain this so gently that I wish to follow this principle. But I was cussing the guy in government office who made that clerical error, not the auditor or his staff. So he or she does not even know I was mad at him or her. The mistake entails running around other government offices a couple of times - about 4 times, and bribes of course. There is time constraint as well - everything needs to be over before 29th July. It was more of venting out frustration.
2 people like this
@vandana7 (100519)
• India
21 Jul 22
@innertalks I am always sweet with such folks..and folks with whom I have some work. Shrewd. LOL.
I did try telling one government officer, you are supposed to be maintaining this record, instead, you are asking me, and when I am submitting the record, you are asking me bribes to take it on record...he said come again...in a menacing way....I said nothing...and walked away.
2 people like this
@innertalks (22071)
• Australia
21 Jul 22
@vandana7 l would have also walked away.
Those types, it is so hard to win against them .
@Daljinder (23236)
• Bangalore, India
21 Jul 22
You will have to modify your tone. Speaking another language will not be enough. Your tone will give away whether you are angry or upset or happy
1 person likes this
