Tuesday, The Thirteenth (MyLot Exclusive #1085)

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I know you're thinking, "Sir, this is just another dull, boring, ordinary Tuesday, The Thirteenth." I know that because I was thinking the same thing until just a little while ago. I was sitting here in my office, planning my busy work-filled day, when my Valet walked in. Valet is an overly pretentious foreign word...It's probably French, Spanish or Italian. Maybe all of them because those people usually conspire together to crush us...That simply means, "One of the girls who bring me Diet Coke. And many other things." But the Woke Liberal Mob calls them, "Valets." Because they think they're smarter than we are. Just because they graduated the 6th Grade. So, she walked in, carrying a tray of Diet Cokes and Mimosas---Mimosa is another excessively ostentatiously grandiose foreign word that means: A drink consisting of Champagne and Orange Juice. I drink them all morning long, along with Diet Coke, because I'm totally dedicated to health and fitness. Orange Juice is full of vitamins and other junk that's good for you. And Champagne and Diet Coke prevent Heart Disease...I read it on the Internet, so it must be true. If I were your Nutrition Coach, I'd expand on that theme but since I'm not, I'll just move right along to the next pertinent plot point. She...I almost feel a little embarrassed that I can't remember her name because, in addition to being a Valet, she's also a highly trusted invaluable Advisor...Said, "Good Morning, Sir." "Right. 'Good,' is just the right word for it," I replied. Then, I looked up and noticed what she was wearing and said, "I really dig your threads. That is a very nice outfit." "Thank you, Sir," She said. "But it isn't really technically an outfit at all, Sir. It's 100% edible body paint, Sir, with candy accents and accessories. All Chocolate flavored, Sir, because it's International Chocolate Day." "You did a very good job with it. It looks great." "It tastes even better than it looks, Sir. Would you like to taste it, Sir?" At this juncture, I'm a little sad that we're out of time. Because the story doesn't end there. If you want to see the rest, you'll have to go to my MyLot After Dark section. All I have time for here is to say: It's not just Tuesday, The Thirteenth. It's also International Chocolate Day---Which means it doesn't have to be a dull, boring, ordinary Tuesday. Well, not entirely, anyway. With that in mind, let's go to right now, and see what the Cosmic Universal Anthem Holiday Of The Month Club Holiday For Today is. ************** Chocolate Dessert Sweet Food International Chocolate Day – September 13, 2022