I Want a Partner Who Will Do Financial Planning with Me
By Arya
@yoalldudes (35037)
Philippines
September 14, 2022 2:48am CST
I learned that couples who go together become attracted by the same core values. And it makes sense.
My partner loves to cook my favorite dishes. He would even source fresh products from the sea or farms to give them to me.
But we have no direction financially. At least together.
I waited 10 years for him to get a decent income. But he bought pieces of lands here and there without consulting me. Now he is deep in debt and the disposable income cannot provide again for our needs. So I have to give more than my fair share again especially nwo that my daughter is now in college and is a bit of a spender as well. She is an only child.
Sigh!
11 people like this
13 responses
@louievill (28851)
• Philippines
14 Sep 22
Maybe you should sell or dispose of some of the land investments that don't fall within your financial plan. If you are still paying the monthly amortization then do what we Filipinos call " pasalo " or make somebody assume the balance so you could get back the money you already put in whole and start from there.
2 people like this
@yoalldudes (35037)
• Philippines
15 Sep 22
That is good advice. Thank you. But with a man full of promises but doesnt follow through, it's futile. I give up.
@ShyBear88 (59347)
• Sterling, Virginia
14 Sep 22
So what’s the problem?
My family is has finance issues always have since we got together. Money is just money. What is his is mine and what is mine is his. No we don’t have the same core values we talk about what ones we want for our kids. Me I love not having the same ideas of feelings towards things. I don’t want a copy of myself to be married to forever. I want to butt heads, have disagreements.
@yoalldudes (35037)
• Philippines
15 Sep 22
Nice take on things. It wouldve been tolerable for me if he wasnt cheating with other women.
1 person likes this
@db20747 (43440)
• Washington, District Of Columbia
15 Sep 22
@yoalldudes this is not good. No money and cheating,!! you might have to search around for a more stable man.
@rsa101 (38166)
• Philippines
14 Sep 22
Well I think it is hard to really be compatible when it comes to financial management since each has their own set of beliefs about how and what wealth is for them. Admittedly my wife and I are clashing when it comes to spending and saving money. But what is good is that we complement each other's habits not overspend and compromise on something so that we won't lose in everything we spend and save.
@rsa101 (38166)
• Philippines
16 Sep 22
@yoalldudes If you will be separating from him then it would either be hard or easy for you to manage finances. It would be hard because you will be on your own and the effort you will do will be doubled or it can be easy since you won't need his advice and depend on your decision only.
@yoalldudes (35037)
• Philippines
15 Sep 22
I dont know how to start over. I dont want to be with him anymore.
1 person likes this
@yoalldudes (35037)
• Philippines
20 Sep 22
@rsa101 That is good analysis of my situation. I know I will be better when my daughter graduates and I get an online freelance work.
1 person likes this
@yoalldudes (35037)
• Philippines
15 Sep 22
I've made a mess of my life. But not all is lost.
1 person likes this
@solidcodes (1766)
• Philippines
14 Sep 22
How many square meters was the land she purchased?
And where are these vacant lots located?
@yoalldudes (35037)
• Philippines
20 Sep 22
@solidcodes I am amazed at how people like you are so resourceful in making extra income. Thank you for trying to help me. I will try part time online work if I can.
1 person likes this
@solidcodes (1766)
• Philippines
14 Sep 22
@yoalldudes
Actually, one of my habits whenever I have free time I watch farming videos.
You might try hydroponics farming.
Will help you financially.
Since you have vacant lot you say?
@DevMrSamEleazar (14058)
• Philippines
14 Sep 22
maybe get a financial assistance from bank? or something
@yoalldudes (35037)
• Philippines
14 Sep 22
The debt is being deducted from his salary. But now with little net pay wont cover all our needs...and wants LOL just kidding.
1 person likes this
@DevMrSamEleazar (14058)
• Philippines
14 Sep 22
@yoalldudes oh I see that make sense. sorry I dont actually understand things about this. cuz I dont have that thing yet
@yoalldudes (35037)
• Philippines
14 Sep 22
@DevMrSamEleazar It's okay. No worries.
1 person likes this
@josie_ (10032)
• Philippines
14 Sep 22
Financial problems are a major cause of relationship break-ups. Real estate is a good investment if you have extra funds you don't need for present needs. It's not advisable to go into debt in order to buy land. What you have is a cash-flow problem. You should implement some sort of budgeting and eliminate unnecessary expenses. A side income would also help.
@yoalldudes (35037)
• Philippines
20 Sep 22
A side income would surely help. I hope I can manage to have one after office hours.
1 person likes this
@yoalldudes (35037)
• Philippines
15 Sep 22
Thank you for understanding my situation. Means a lot to me.
@magallon (19279)
• Philippines
14 Sep 22
@yoalldudes it is you who can decide about your life.
Think deeply before you decide .
@yoalldudes (35037)
• Philippines
14 Sep 22
Yes I am lucky. Maybe I should seriously thinking of a change in my life.
1 person likes this
@aninditasen (16501)
• Raurkela, India
14 Sep 22
Your household finances are more important than your daughter's spending. The pieces of land will bear fruit one day. It's not that the man has to contribute more or the woman. It's a matter of need and management.
@aninditasen (16501)
• Raurkela, India
20 Sep 22
@yoalldudes How is your values different from ours. Can you explain.
@yoalldudes (35037)
• Philippines
20 Sep 22
I understand your comment because you dont see the entire picture and have different set of values. I respect you for sharing them. Thank you.
1 person likes this
@porwest (92696)
• United States
14 Sep 22
I think it is important for one person to be in charge of finances in a household. Obviously the most responsible one with the best attitude toward money should be the one in charge of that.
In our house I control all of the money. Because of it, the money is never wasted, and we are able to invest and have the things we want at the same time.
@yoalldudes (35037)
• Philippines
20 Sep 22
From the seminar I attended about gender and development, that is also the advice that the one good in budgeting and management of money should handle the money in the household.
1 person likes this
@florelway (23286)
• Cagayan De Oro, Philippines
14 Sep 22
That's sad. Marriage is also a.business partnership. The good.side is at least you have your own source of income.
@yoalldudes (35037)
• Philippines
14 Sep 22
Yes, and I keep hoping I will be able to have income for years to come.
1 person likes this
