Why The Horse projectile vomited on the preschool wall today in the Toddler Room.

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I was playing on the floor with Keke when Gabriel came in. Gabriel is one of my younger buddies, at 20-months of age, but he loves playing catch with me. He is a happy child, and rarely cries. One of the younger teachers sat him at a table and dropped a toy in front of him. It was my nemesis: a multicolored battery-filled plastic thing that blares distorted "music" when you press this button or that. Sometimes a distorted voice says "Great job! Now grab the microphone and sing along with me!" I felt my stomach churning. I could tell Gabriel was afraid of this monstrosity as he tentatively poked at the various buttons on it, like a full cat poking at a dead rat. But it does have a keyboard on it. When the younger teacher left him to fetch another child, I ran over, turned the thing off and tried to find the "keyboard only" setting. I could not. I have taught 2 1/2-year-olds to play the first notes to "Mary Had a Little Lamb" on the (battery-free) keyboard/xylophone we have in the next room. Other kids then start to sing along and grab shakers. The younger teacher came back and turned the thing on again. Gabriel tried to escape, but she poked at some of the buttons, and physically put him back in his chair as the thing started screeching again. He then tried to press the "piano" keys, as I had shown him to do on the other toy in the other room. The keys yielded no sound. He was totally helpless. He tried to escape again, but was again physically restrained by his teacher. Because he is a happy and compliant child, he only cried slightly. It was more like a series of helpless whimpers. It was at that point that I projectile vomited against the wall. I could not control myself. Among the things that playing real music on a real keyboard teaches are: fine motor skills, cause-and-effect, self-efficacy, self-esteem, music and musical intervals, and (believe it or not) math and spatial relations skills. Among the things that singing and dancing together teach are: gross motor skills, team-work, music, and musical intervals. Among the things this plastic battery-powered monstrosity teach are: feeling helpless and out of control, disdain for music, feeling forced to listen to bad music on electrical devices, and fear of bright colored objects made of plastic. I cleaned up my vomit and went to work with the older children later in the day. Aiden (age four) rushed over to me and started singing the song we co-wrote a year ago: "Mine! Mine! Mine! Do you like to share?..." Other kids sang along. We laughed and sang other songs together. Some children danced. When I headed home, I stole the Plastic Monstrosity from the Toddler Room and put it in the middle of my parking lot. I bashed it to pieces with my sledge hammer, gathered said pieces, and then doused them with gasoline. I then used my flamethrower to melt what was left of the pieces, hosed down the melted remnants, and put them in the dumpster. Do you think this thing will still be at the preschool when I arrive there tomorrow? Note 1: Most of this post is factual. Note 2: The photo is of a guitar with no strings on it. That photo is intended as a METAPHOR.