Pull Down Your Shorts! (MyLot Exclusive #1125)

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I have excellent news for all you ladies out there who want a quick easy way to burn lots of extra calories. Peep this: #### COLUMBUS, OH—According to a comprehensive, decade-long study published Tuesday by sports medicine researchers at the Ohio State University, joggers burn up to 200 calories during a 30-minute run simply from pulling down their bunched-up shorts over and over again. ((Article Linked Below)) #### At this juncture, some of you are saying, "Sir, that's from The Onion. They are a satire site, Sir. Nothing they print is real, Sir. And even if it were a real story, wouldn't it apply equally to men, Sir?" Nothing is real? Who died and made you John Lennon? Never mind. We didn't get all dressed up and come all this way to debate the all-encompassing artificiality of everything we call reality. So yes, my friend Sir John was right about that but as my friend Al Einstein pointed out, we might as well embrace the stubbornly persistent illusion of reality because it ain't going anywhere anytime soon. And you don't trust The Onion? What's next? Are you going to try to tell me that my friends Tucker, Sean and Alex aren't real journalists? To that, I laugh. HA HA HA. And so on. As for your other nonsensical point, I suppose this astounding calorie-burning trick could apply to men but my research interests don't extend that far. If yours do, feel free to explore it. So pull down your shorts and burn those calories! I have much more to say on this topic and allied weight-loss techniques but to see them, you'll have to go to my MyLot AfterDark Channel. ************** NEWS IN BRIEF Study Finds Joggers Burn Up To 200 Calories From Repeatedly Pulling Down Bunched-Up Shorts 7/26/22 6:00AM Alerts