Our Life Has Purpose ... You Won't Believe

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Today ... another miracle ... I took Skip to Holly Springs, NC for his eyes. The doctor couldn't believe how well his eyes are getting ... and will continue to do so. He has his driving vision back. She said she was impressed because she hadn't expected such improvement. This past week has been one miracle after the other and many more to come. No one could be more grateful, thankful than ... ME! Oh my ... the past years Skip has been so sick ... I have worked, pushed so hard, cared for Skip Bates trying to make him come back to being himself ... he has been at the point of giving up thinking this is his last Christmas... to the point I got him a beautiful Christmas tree with beautiful lights like he wished for because he didn't think he'd be here much longer. I am in awe ... so would the people who 'counted Skip out of this game called Life. People changed toward Skip to the point of not hearing him anymore, not paying attention to him ... I watched this all along ... they just saw an older, very sick man who wasn't important anymore. They thought when he didn't talk a lot he was senile, pitiful. What they didn't realize was Skip has been so close to death sick for so long ... what they didn't realize was how bright his mind, intelligence still was ... he could still see, hear ... when the cataracts were blinding him ... Skip could still sense how people changed toward him. I watched for the past 3 years how people surprised me by 'not seeing Skip anymore ... they would say hurtful things in front of him thinking he didn't hear nor understand anymore. People I thought always loved Skip ... I know exactly ... how it affected Skip ... how it affected his mental health ... his 'friends' no longer saw a strong, robust person anymore, they didn't have time for him anymore. If they saw him they talked at him ... they didn't talk ... to him. What they didn't see ... was that Skip's smiling, sweet wife observed it all as her Heart hurt for him. When they were alone how he would voice his hurt. She would smile sweetly all the while pretending she didn't hear them. Think of a person putting on a costume or a uniform ... disguising themselves... people treat them like what they ... appear ... to be ... never seeing the real person beneath. When people grow older, most are still themselves even when their bodies betray them ... disguise the real person beneath 'one of the costumes of Life'. The 'costume' that disguised Skip was of a decrepit, senile, pitiful ... old crippled body/shell of a man. It disguised the real person so much people counted Skip down and out ... of this game of Life. I always say this ... a person isn't always 'down and out ... until they breathe that last breath. What is ironic here is ... during Skip's weakest time of life is ... quite a few of his 'friends' ... would call Skip, talk to him ... they would say things to Skip such as now ... his wife would put him in a nursing home ... such things to upset, hurt him. What is ironic is ... you won't believe it and if I didn't know what I know ... I wouldn't believe it. This what is ironic ... I have watched each one of those 'friends' ... die. They died, no one was around ... and I wonder who cared? I wonder when they told Skip the things they did if ... they were voicing their own insecurities ... their own fears not realizing the effect it had on Skip? I would tell Skip that was why ... they would say the things they did. They didn't know any better than to say what they did because that's all they knew to say. Instead of thinking ugly about each one of them ... I began to think ... why? they would say things like that to Skip knowing for a fact Skip had a faithful, good, loyal wife. They may have thought I would want to be free to run around on Skip ... they were that type of men ... they were alone without a special person in their life ... and the females they ever had weren't the loyal type. Skip would smile, listen to them ... what his 'friends' didn't realize ... is not only does Skip have a wife, Best Sincere Friend ... Skip has a warrior, real-life guardian angel. A wife who will, has fought Hell for him ... who loves the ground he walks on ... who has never ... counted him down and out of the game called Life. Not only that ... after having the husband I have had ... I wouldn't want to be with another man ... no one could ever love, care, put me first like Skip has. I couldn't take on anyone else's baggage ... no, if I didn't have Skip ... I would go on with life doing things to make me smile, be happy ... with good people, happy colors, and my Pup. Skip and I talk about these things. You all who know me know I am extra-observant, very quiet ... though I am the same if I laugh or talk. There isn't one minute that goes by that I'm not sensing, feeling people ... because I am a very compassionate person ... not only that ... though I never say anything ... I pay attention to people who hide deceit, lie ... aren't sincere. I never let on ... I smile, stay the 'same old sweet Gloria' who wouldn't hurt anyone's feelings. Why am I like that? Because I pick ... choose my battles... the ones that all Hell is going to break out and ... I am ... going to win. These are only battles that are meaningful in life ... important that affect my life, my loved ones' life. I don't have to live with how it feels to mistreat others, treat them ugly, unfairly ... or ... talk through them when their bodies betray them. If I did do that ... it would be so hard to find peace of mind. I know you go through Hell in your minds when you do that. Oh ... I do know how all I wrote feels ... exactly ... how it feels when Life throws one of those costumes of Life ... on one's body. I Have walked this road too ... people counted me down and out ... when I fought for my Life battling cancer ... Non-Hodgkins lymphoma. I was disguised too ... my body was beaten up by all I had to endure to live But ... my mind, intelligence was still there when I could barely speak above a whisper. I could still see with my eyes when people saw me, go into shock at how sick I was ... how I could barely hold myself up to walk. What they didn't see was that fire inside me, the steel in my spine, the fight I had inside to live ... and SEE them turn away from me. I won't ever forget the tone and the words of one woman who never liked me when I was vibrant, alive with so much life ... she had been jealous of me. I was trying to make my body strong again for the umpteenth time ... I made myself drive to a store ... I went to pay for my things . I looked up ... that woman was the cashier. She loved seeing me look so bad (my clothes were nice ... my body had lost so much weight, I was weak ... I was so sick and had no business being out in public). She put on an expression of disgust and said in an ugly tone ... 'what's wrong with you?' I remember looking up at her ... my eyes full of tears ... they stayed that way from all the chemo, medicines ... at that moment the sting of her words added more tears. I softly told her I had cancer ... Non-Hodgkins lymphoma. .. she just sneered at me, never said another word. She hurt my Heart deeply that day. I write only a little about what I experienced right now to let my readers know I only talk, write about what I know in my life. I know how Skip felt, has felt since Life threw one of its costumes on him ... like all of us ... we can go from living Life to the fullest to being at death's door in a moment ... through no choice of our own. The saddest is when people only see the costume never seeing YOU anymore ... they look through you, talk to the air. They say things without thinking you see, hear anymore ... they don't see your mind is intact. The positive here is ... miracles happen ... miracles happen to give hope to others as well as be wonderful for the people they happen to. I am most grateful with my very Gloria being ... for the miracles happening to us ... and this is just the beginning. Oh ... Skip walked all the way to the building, inside to the elevator ... down the long hall to his doctor's office! The doctor was amazed ???? I am looking forward to when his other doctors see him. Skip held a good conversation with with the doctor ... she was so pleased with him, his progress. I saw it in her eyes ... she really listened, enjoyed talking to Skip. Not only that ... on the way home he walked across the parking lot to McDonald's for coffee. Inside he talked like he used to before he ever became sick to a woman holding a baby. Skip had been too sick to hold conversations. I laugh now telling him it has been so quiet all these past several years ... now he talks up a storm, he is going to the kitchen to get drinks, food ... wash his own glass. He baths, dresses, does most everything on his own again! Oh my ... I think Skip is going to be hard to keep up with! I look forward ... I look forward to our Life again! I sit here tonight smiling as I write. I hear Skip softly snoring, having no idea how he has made me feel such hope, happiness ... yes, I look forward to our Life. Photo of Skip owned by Gloria Faye Brown Bates .