Writing ... Is My Outlet For Pain, Grief

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My son ... Tommy ... how could I ever forget such a beautiful, precious soul? I am glad you were in my life. You were my son, I was proud to call you ... my Son. I see you sometimes for a brief moment in other young men your age ... I stop in my tracks to 'see you' as long as possible ... pretend for seconds that's you moving, walking, smiling, talking. Then, I face reality again that you are gone no matter how many times I wish you back to life. I smile with such sadness ... I have always heard everything is possible ... I think to myself ... no, not everything. Like the beautiful song says ... I hope you are dancing in the sky ... I hope you are ....... singing? ...... in the angels choir ... Tommy, do you remember trying to convince Skip and I that you could sing? That you were going to go on American Idol? Son, do you remember how we all would laugh, I would gently tell you ... "Son, you have so many talents but ... you really can't carry a tune. You can't sing, Tommy!" I still hope you are singing in the angels choir ... you would make them love you with that bright smile, laughter in your eyes ... they'd let you sing your Heart out just to get to watch your eyes twinkle with joy. On November 20, 1969 you were born at 11:28 am. You weighed 8 lbs. 4 1/2 oz. ... you were 21" long. You had a head full of strawberry blonde hair ... you were beautiful. You were perfect. I miss you so much that I close my eyes tightly, let myself feel the pain of you being gone for ... only a moment. I can't afford to feel such pain longer than a moment ... just like I couldn't walk into the ocean, let the waves sweep me out to sea ... I have so much to do here before my time to go. I have Skip Bates Skip and Camie to take care of. I am remembering you, precious Son ... Tommy M Sidden Love Your 'Ole' Mom Once again through writing I have released such pain, grief so, I can go on living. That's pain, grief I'm not big enough to hold inside. It is more than I. GLORIA FAYE BROWN BATES Note: Sharing what I wrote on my Facebook to remember my Son.