Overwhelm
By Faye
@FayeHazel (40243)
United States
December 7, 2022 1:22pm CST
Hi Mylot,
I guess it's just a short discussion today, but I'm feeling very overwhelmed recently. I'm tired. So tired. I am feeling bad for myself. My entire life to date I have had to put everyone else above me. My dad for the first 38 years of my life. While other kids got to play, I was told be quiet and don't complain so dad doesn't get angry, again. When other young adults were planning their lives , I was just trying to make it through each day without getting yelled at. As an adult I had to be on call available for my dad or else he would scream at my mom. Now my mom has health issues and some of the time it is left up to me to run her house, my house, and try to maybe get ahead a bit, and or do things I want to do. But my stuff takes back burner as usual, because taking care of her is more important.
I know she doesn't want it this way either. But I don't see any workable solutions other than me burning the candle at both ends and in the middle. Everything gets dropped in my lap to deal with because, well, it has to. If I don't do it, who else is going to?
Sorry. I feel bad complaining because my dear momma is the nicest person I know and I try and try and try to help but I at times feel overwhelmed.
What do you do when you feel overwhelmed?
Photo: Pixabay
11 people like this
12 responses
@RebeccasFarm (90294)
• Arvada, Colorado
7 Dec 22
I totally understand Faye and since you had such restrictions in childhood, and the time going on now, and you still being putting every thing before your life and your needs, it is definitely so sad. I am sorry it is this way Faye.
Please know if I were near, I would certainly stand in for you there with Mama if she'd let me, I do have some experience doing this when my Mother was alive RiP
It is only natural to feel as you do though, nothing wrong with voicing it here. Carry on voicing, we understand
I remember there were apparently some state caregivers that would apparently come out but I never found out about that as I did not want anyone else messing with Mother.
I remember there were apparently some state caregivers that would apparently come out but I never found out about that as I did not want anyone else messing with Mother.2 people like this
@RebeccasFarm (90294)
• Arvada, Colorado
16 Dec 22
@FayeHazel Oh yes it does Faye, and don't worry it is only natural to feel as you do ..I totally get it xo Love to you both
1 person likes this
@FayeHazel (40243)
• United States
19 Dec 22
@RebeccasFarm Oh thanks friend. I feel both heard, understood and cared about. Much love, to you too friend
1 person likes this
@FayeHazel (40243)
• United States
16 Dec 22
Thank you friend. I feel very heard and that is huge. It helps a lot. I'm sorry about your mom. I think she's with you still though. She is your angel now.
Ah thanks. I have had a chance to recharge a little, and she gets better each day though slowly and that makes me greatful.
1 person likes this
@DaddyEvil (137464)
• United States
7 Dec 22
Have you looked into the various things that Medicare will cover for the elderly? I believe there is in-home care... or maybe it is someone stopping by and doing things for your mom at times on Medicare's dime. (I've never had to deal with it, so I'm not positive but, I do know there is a phone number you can call to talk with someone about the Medicare programs available to her... The number is 1-800-633-4227.) You don't have to do it all.
2 people like this
@DaddyEvil (137464)
• United States
16 Dec 22
@FayeHazel You're very welcome.
Unfortunately, when I get disability from the government, since it is my sight that is affected, I'll qualify for someone to come and help me with common tasks. We put in an application for Pretty to get paid for doing the things she has to help me with already when my sight is affected. (She normally helps me with my medications, fixes meals for me [Usually just heats some of the pre-made meals I keep frozen.] and things like that.) We talked with the lawyers about that and they agreed I qualify so have already filed that application for us.
I really hope you can get help for her.
1 person likes this
@FayeHazel (40243)
• United States
16 Dec 22
@DaddyEvil I think that was good thinking, both applying for Pretty, and to get help for yourself. I'm sorry you go through that. It sounds very frustrating.
Thanks for the kindness.
1 person likes this
@FayeHazel (40243)
• United States
16 Dec 22
Thank you, great idea - actually mom has talked to a social worker about this. They are going to do a screening for which services she can get. That will be huge in taking stress off me. Thank you for getting that number.
1 person likes this
@FayeHazel (40243)
• United States
16 Dec 22
Thank you, that makes me feel a bit better
1 person likes this
@FayeHazel (40243)
• United States
16 Dec 22
Thanks , I'm happy to say things are looking better and better each day
1 person likes this
@MommyOfEli2013 (84183)
• Rupert, Idaho
7 Dec 22
Sorry to hear that you are feeling that way and going through all of that. It would be rough.
2 people like this
@kaylachan (71519)
• Daytona Beach, Florida
7 Dec 22
Try to remember that I need to take time for myself, too. And, that if I don't I'll combust.
2 people like this
@FayeHazel (40243)
• United States
16 Dec 22
Thanks! Actually, that is an excellent point. I forget all too often that I don't have to handle it on my own. I have a heavenly father.
1 person likes this
@Hannihar (130213)
• Israel
16 Dec 22
@FayeHazel
I hope it helped getting all that off your chest. You did not have an easy life and you have suffered and still suffering. It is not fair and I am very sorry you had to go through that. It does not sound like very much fun growing up and being the only child and you had to wait on them. They are supposed to be there to take care of you and it sounds like you do not get away from it. I wish I knew you back then and we could have talked. Life is not always easy. Some have a loving family and others get jipped out of life.
1 person likes this
@Hannihar (130213)
• Israel
19 Dec 22
@FayeHazel
If you do not want to write a book, you could write down in a journal or on the computer your feelings and what you remember from growing up if you want to. You are welcome for listening. I wish more understood what I am going through and could help. I am sorry you and your Mom had to go through what you did. Your Dad was a real bully and there are more than enough of them around. The decent people kind of hide in the background while the bullies take over and the real sick ones blame the victim thinking they are the victim.
@FayeHazel (40243)
• United States
19 Dec 22
@Hannihar Oh yes. I can tell you have encountered similar types. Exactly right. They are never to blame, everyone else is, never responsible for their own actions. Thank you for the kind offer friend, listening and just knowing you know - means the world. It is a pity you're right that these type run unchecked , bullying who they can, slandering who they cannot bully. It was my best friend who taught me how to stand up for myself. A priceless lesson. These types know exactly who to prey on.
1 person likes this
@FayeHazel (40243)
• United States
19 Dec 22
Thank you. It did. Thanks for listening. It helps to feel heard and understood. I appreciate that my friend. You're right. Some people get lucky, they don't know what a blessing it is. In some ways I think this gave me gifts. Thinking critically, being empathic.... but gifts I would have rather not gotten in that way.
Momma is lovely. I feel bad she endured such. It's just a sad situation all around. I wish I could publish a book, or make a movie or something. It would warn of the destruction of untreated mental illness.
1 person likes this
@MarieCoyle (38562)
•
16 Dec 22
Being a caregiver, even if it's only part-time, is stressful and extremely tiring. I hope you get help from someone very soon.
1 person likes this
@FayeHazel (40243)
• United States
19 Dec 22
Thank you so much. Its very true... caregiving is intense.
1 person likes this
