Holidays or Hellidays??

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Now that the new year has begun, I find myself reflecting on things. My family has been strained and distant due to death, divorce, and arguments. The result has been I have 1 grandchild I have not seen for 10 years and 2 grandchildren I have never seen. I have come into knowledge that at least 2 of my grandchildren are calling my brother and his wife, Grandpa and Grandma instead of Great Uncle and Great Aunt. This is confusing to the children. My adult children and my grandchildren spent Christmas at my brother's house while I spent the day alone, again, since I was not invited. I have come to learn that this practice has been going on for several holidays. My adult children seem to be keeping their visit to my brother's house a secret from me. Secrets are unhealthy. And now the grandchildren are keeping secrets from me. Let me repeat........Secrets are unhealthy. I know if I confront my brother and his wife, they will try to tell me they think they are helping my family. Ummm, no. You really are not helping my family heal from its hurts. He and his wife claim to be Catholic/Christian, righteous and pious. I am sorry but I see what you are doing to covertly destroy my family and in turn hurt me. I will never forgive my brother and his wife. I am sure God will take all this into account when the time is right. I trust God to fix this. I pray God will fix this. I pray God is able to fix this. My holidays have become sad, lonely, depressing Hellidays. As I start this new year off, I am not looking forward to any holidays. I find myself sad and angry. I catch myself crying or screaming in anger. I find myself praying God takes this hurt and pain away. I ask the question...have I not been through enough? Is it over yet? Will the hurt ever end? I feel betrayed by my own sibling. I take a deep breathe and try with all my might to let it go. But God knows it weighs on me intensely. I wake up each day desperately trying to find joy and a ray of happiness. Rant over. Respond or not. I just needed to get this out. Feel free to share your rant if it helps you.