What to do when a child is not coping with anger?
By Bogusia Z.
@Gguusia (398)
Poland
February 26, 2023 3:27am CST
My 8-year-old son is a very creative and energetic child. However, in some situations, he can't handle anger. Then he bursts into tears, screams, wants to use force. Despite many conversations, the fact that we are with him, we listen to him, we give him advice on how to unload it, it's not always good. Things are especially bad at school. We are waiting for help from the clinic, but it takes quite a long time. How can I help my son in these difficult times?
6 people like this
6 responses
@Adie04 (17360)
•
27 Feb 23
Usually, to deal with kids who has these high level energy up to hyperactive energy, sports is one of ways to calm them down. The more you talk, the more they don't listen, usually. Young blood especially nowadays it's 21st Century where their character built different than 20th Century and before, so I can see why. Activities like sports or adventures or martial arts could match their energy. I have one cousin who shared similar energy with yours. His parents (my dad's siblings) also done the same thing like you do, but they failed as well. So my parents suggest to take extra curricular activities for him, and it did well in channeling his anger and his remining energies. I hope you do could too.
I'm curious, are you going to give anti-anxiety pills or calming pills if you go to the clinic? Because young blood like him does not necessary to go, but you are welcome to check.
1 person likes this
@Gguusia (398)
• Poland
27 Feb 23
Thank you very much for your comment is really good and supported by a real life example. I was considering an extracurricular activity for my son, and it was supposed to be karate. Now he goes with his dad and older brother to the gym, where there is also a small gym. He's only just started, so I can't say if it will work - I hope so. As for meds, I don't want to give him any at the moment. First, I would like to try to help him with meetings with a specialist.
As for exercise, I try to go with it often to playgrounds, take walks, at home we jump, dance. Maybe it's still not enough. I'm hoping that the gym classes and therapy with a psychologist will help.
1 person likes this
@Adie04 (17360)
•
28 Feb 23
@Gguusia It's also hard to evaluate based on just reading - I also need to observe him myself. But from the reading, I believe that you are in the right track. Keep it up and you'll see in few weeks to few months. Results won't always happen overnight. 21st Century children are usually technology and 21st Century environmental driven like critical thinking, creativity and problem solving; so there will be some activities that you may want to keep, some would need to stop, and some would need to increase its difficulties.
You are right that the child shouldn't be given meds at his early age, it's too dangerous for his mental and nerve development. Even adults can't stand anti-depressant or anxiety meds.
So far, when he was sent to the gym, did you notice any changes before and after you register/sending him to the gym, or any outdoor activities?
1 person likes this
@Gguusia (398)
• Poland
28 Feb 23
@Adie04 I watch him all the time, I certainly hear less often from him recently that he is sad. He begins to speak for himself, to name his feelings, that he feels angry and when it happens. They are such little steps. I always tell him that he's not alone in this, that we'll get through this together, so he knows he has support even when things go wrong. As for the gym, it was 3 times in a row and so far I don't see any changes, but as you say, it takes time and patience. He started this gym after the winter holidays. I hope it has at least minimal effect.
1 person likes this
@Jenaisle (14078)
• Philippines
26 Feb 23
That's indeed a hard problem to solve. Anger management is an issue even with adults. May I suggest that you allow him to join anger management groups or a psychiatrist or physiotherapist? I'm not an expert on these things but I heard that these experts could help.
I wish he gets better with time.
1 person likes this
@Gguusia (398)
• Poland
26 Feb 23
@askme123 Here, too, it seems to be quite ok. I am in constant contact with my son's teacher, I know most of the children at school, because it is a small school and there are no indications that he is being bullied. I also ask him about it and if there are any situations that annoy him, he tells me. The biggest problem seems to me to be subject to certain rules that he does not want to follow. He thinks they are nonsense, even though we explain to him that no one in the school would be safe without these rules.
