Too Many Eggs (MyLot Exclusive #1270)

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Why didn't anyone tell me that eating 40 pounds ((For those of you who haven't been to the Moon yet, that's 18.1436948 Kilograms. And special thanks to Ryan Szimanski, Director of Education & Curatorial Affairs for the Battleship New Jersey Museum and Memorial (62 Battleship Place, Camden, NJ 08103) for creating that zinger)) of chocolate in 12 hours would lead to unpleasant complications? I blame Nancy Reagan. Because it was all her fault. She told me not to take heroin but she never said a word about chocolate eggs. If she had been conscientious enough to do her job properly, none of this would have happened...More accurately, all the things that were planned to happen would have happened. It was horrible. I had to cancel everything. It was Easter Eve and all through the house, all the Bunnies were stirring...Well, I thought they were stirring...but...on closer examination, it turned out to be a lower-pitched sort of sound, the kind vibrators make and on even closer examination...Well, that's all I can say about that here. For full details, see my MyLot AfterDark Channel. What I can tell you here is that I was going to go on my first metal-detecting outing of the year. So, would I have found more nails, shotgun shells and beer cans or would this have been the time I come back with thousands of coins, a bunch of jewelry and 50 pounds (That's 22.6796185 Kilograms for those of you who haven't been to the Moon yet) of gold? Now, we'll never know and it's all Nancy Reagan's fault.