Just as I thought. My daughters want me in a senior home.
By marguicha
@marguicha (222974)
Chile
April 15, 2023 4:53pm CST
They came with brochures (I confess that they were good senior homes).
My granddaughter read there how wonderful were the menus. Because they offered a room with no place to cook.
They told me how happy would I be there, with all those dear people to talk to.
After I yelled at first, I thought that that was not the way to do it. I´ll take my time and I´ll do it my way.
I´ll first go to my colonoscopy. Then I will get an appraisal for my home. Only one, before I have done any mayor improvements.
Only then I will decide what to do. A home is not among my first choices, no matter how good they are. I need a kitchen.
My daughters underlined the what ifs and when would I need a caregiver. My youngest daughter did not mention the spare room at her house. And my eldest DID MENTION that she could not pay me back the money I had lent her.
As I said, first I will check my colon. Then I will see what this house is worth with no makeup. I am sure now that I want to sell it. And that I want to use the money to live well.
They have many things to do. Fine. And so do I. Maybe we can´t do the same things together.
30 people like this
27 responses
@DaddyEvil (137257)
• United States
15 Apr 23
I'm sorry. I was afraid that would be their solution.. but I hoped I was mistaken. 
7 people like this
@marguicha (222974)
• Chile
16 Apr 23
I don´t think that theirs is a good solution for me.
6 people like this
@DaddyEvil (137257)
• United States
16 Apr 23
@marguicha Tell the daughter that owes you money you're staying with her until she pays it back.
I know that's not a solution but I don't know what to tell you, either.
5 people like this
@marguicha (222974)
• Chile
16 Apr 23
@DaddyEvil You should have heard her today
I decided that the money was lost. Not that I told her.
I decided that the money was lost. Not that I told her.4 people like this
@allknowing (136369)
• India
16 Apr 23
From what I have noticed your family truly loves you and they are being practical. Let nothing come between the love you have for each other.
4 people like this
@marguicha (222974)
• Chile
16 Apr 23
I know that. But I also know what I want for my life.
4 people like this
@marguicha (222974)
• Chile
16 Apr 23
@allknowing I have a lot to think about now.
3 people like this
@allknowing (136369)
• India
16 Apr 23
@marguicha I find nothing wrong in your daughters suggesting anything considering the role they have played in your life and you in their life. And yes you are the one who will take that final decision.
3 people like this
@RebeccasFarm (89882)
• Arvada, Colorado
15 Apr 23
Oh Marguicha..I wish you did not decide to sell, but whatever is best for you..yes, you make the decision
4 people like this
@marguicha (222974)
• Chile
16 Apr 23
I can sell this too big a house but I have to see what I can get instead.
3 people like this
@marguicha (222974)
• Chile
16 Apr 23
@RebeccasFarm I will. There´s no hurry, as I see it.
2 people like this
@RebeccasFarm (89882)
• Arvada, Colorado
16 Apr 23
@marguicha Yes you take your time dear Marguicha.
2 people like this
@marguicha (222974)
• Chile
16 Apr 23
I´m pissed. But I decided that I will do what I want quietly.
5 people like this
@marguicha (222974)
• Chile
16 Apr 23
@Juliaacv I´ll have to find an apartment (or small house). A used one will be better.
1 person likes this
@Juliaacv (51190)
• Canada
16 Apr 23
@marguicha I hope that you can research some places online and then go to visit them. You need a place that will allow you your independence.
1 person likes this
@wolfgirl569 (106226)
• Marion, Ohio
16 Apr 23
Sorry about that. You have to make the final decision. But they may be speaking from fear and worry for you too. You would have people that check on you regular there. That could be what they are thinking. I know I had some of those thoughts after my mom caught her kitchen on fire. Maybe you can find a place you would like with a kitchen
4 people like this
@marguicha (222974)
• Chile
16 Apr 23
That´s what they said. But that´s only part of it. A place with a kitchen means either abother house (smaller) or an apartment. I don´t yet need a person to check on me night and day at the expense of my liberty.
3 people like this
@wolfgirl569 (106226)
• Marion, Ohio
16 Apr 23
@marguicha An apartment or renting a house would eliminate needing to worry about repairs at least. I have thought about that at times when we need to get something done here
4 people like this
@GardenGerty (160663)
• United States
16 Apr 23
It is bad she cannot pay you what she owes you. I hope you find a solution for your peace of mind.
3 people like this
@RasmaSandra (79833)
• Daytona Beach, Florida
15 Apr 23
Whatever you decide it has to be your decision. I wish you all the best.
4 people like this
@1creekgirl (41424)
• United States
15 Apr 23
Oh, bless your heart. It's a tough situation all around, but take your time and don't let anyone push you into something. Make up your own mind.
4 people like this
@sallypup (61088)
• Centralia, Washington
16 Apr 23
My heart hurts as I read this. Today a well meaning friend brought up the issue that my daughter lives far away from hubby and me. Well meaning friend acted like daughter would move near us or we would move near her. No that is not possible. When we get even more infirmed tough questions are going to arrive. I wish your family was more supportive. They think they are but I wish they would listen to you. Really hear you.
3 people like this
@marguicha (222974)
• Chile
16 Apr 23
@sallypup I am making decisions now, little by little. I will not think any more what they say but what I want.
1 person likes this
@sallypup (61088)
• Centralia, Washington
16 Apr 23
@marguicha Then there is something wrong. Love shouldn't cause pain.
2 people like this
@marguicha (222974)
• Chile
16 Apr 23
I have thought it over yesterday night and today and I know what I WILL NOT do, go to a senior home.
1 person likes this
@JudyEv (339930)
• Rockingham, Australia
16 Apr 23
@marguicha It seems to me that you are not ready for that yet. You just had a bit of bad luck. You are well and truly capable of looking after yourself.
@marguicha (222974)
• Chile
16 Apr 23
I could not accept to live in just a room.
1 person likes this
@aninditasen (16389)
• Raurkela, India
16 Apr 23
I thank God that I am still doing well and am not that sick to move to someone's care.
2 people like this
@aninditasen (16389)
• Raurkela, India
17 Apr 23
@marguicha They are concerned about you which is making them panicked.
@snowy22315 (180667)
• United States
16 Apr 23
It seems like an assisted living apartment might work better for you. That way you could still do some cooking. Some of the "homes" have apartments within them, so you can maintain a more independent life style, or sometimes they are nearby. Good luck, it is never an easy decision.My parents are on a waiting list for a senior facility, but until they really need to go, they won't. My dad will probably eventually become too difficult for my mother to manage at home though.
2 people like this
@arunima25 (87806)
• Bangalore, India
16 Apr 23
I always felt that your family is a close knit one. Sorry for all the trouble that you are going through. Maybe they too have a valid point from their end. But at the end, it's your life and the final decision should be yours. Take care and stay strong
1 person likes this
@marguicha (222974)
• Chile
16 Apr 23
Maybe many times you think that your family is a close knit one but that is because it is the time when you are the one that is giving. I have made my decision and it is that I´m capable of thinking what is best for me. And that is a no to a senior home.
1 person likes this
@arunima25 (87806)
• Bangalore, India
17 Apr 23
@marguicha I totally get your point. We might not feel the same at all stages of life. Human beings and relationships undergo changes with situations. And some might not be good ones. I wish you luck for whatever you plan to do. Take care
1 person likes this
@Adie04 (17360)
•
17 Apr 23
@marguicha You don't have to. If you feel that you are able to do daily chores on your own, go for it! I'll support you. My grandparents lived alone, only two of them but they still go to the orchard daily at their age now of 90s-100s.
@Beestring (14553)
• Hong Kong
16 Apr 23
I understand you want kitchen in your place. You're such a good cook. Just make a decision you find comfortable with. I wish you all the best.
1 person likes this
@marguicha (222974)
• Chile
16 Apr 23
I have here a very big house with 4 bedrooms and 3 bathrooms. I only need a small house with 2 bedrooms (one only big enough to have a desk and a small bed) and one bathroom. I´m sure that the difference in money can help me live well for the rest of my life.
1 person likes this
