Bizarre weather and Viruses

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So where I live the temperature keeps going up and down. One day it's 30 degrees and the next it's tee short and shorts weather. The day after that another ice age begins and ends by noon. Welcome to the wild and wooly midwest. People have developed a version of the common cold that never goes away. It starts with a fall on the ice that knocks the bejabbers out of you, and then segues into the sniffles and a sore throat. That lasts for a couple days and then becomes the cough that requires a lung transplant. This goes on until the patient goes insane, and then becomes the sniffles and sore throat again. Fevers come and go for weeks on end, and this isn't even Covid. My theory is that this is caused by the extremes in temperatures, and probably initiated by getting knocked into a near coma by glare ice. Everyone I know is sick with this horror, and the world doesn't even consider it a pandemic....yet. How about you folks? Everyone healthy out there?