What if ...

@Jenaisle (14078)
Philippines
April 23, 2023 7:23am CST
What if I have chosen the career I was truly interested in when I was younger? Would I have been able to write books and become a published author? What if I have decided to pursue my first love, would I have been happier or lonelier? What if I have not been away from my parents during my teen years, would I have grown so dependent on them? There are many "what ifs" questions in my life. The choices I made then have made me what I am today. I don't regret it though, however, there were times that I wonder what I would have become if I have selected those choices. Are there any "what ifs" in your life?
29 people like this
31 responses
• United States
24 Apr 23
My big "what if" is what if I never married my husband (now ex). But then I wouldn't have my children and they are my greatest blessings
11 people like this
@Jenaisle (14078)
• Philippines
25 Apr 23
That's a great "what-if". Children are your blessings. Thank God for your husband.
6 people like this
• United States
25 Apr 23
@Jenaisle He came in handy for something
6 people like this
@Jenaisle (14078)
• Philippines
26 Apr 23
@Marilynda1225 Of course, you cannot dance cha-cha alone.
6 people like this
@RebeccasFarm (90294)
• Arvada, Colorado
23 Apr 23
I have only one what if and it would be what if I never got involved with anyone.
4 people like this
@Jenaisle (14078)
• Philippines
23 Apr 23
That's a difficult question. I wonder why some say: "It's better to have loved and lost than never to have loved at all." But if you were given so much pain by that someone you have loved, then it's better not to have loved at all, right?
3 people like this
@Jenaisle (14078)
• Philippines
23 Apr 23
@RebeccasFarm It must have been a traumatic experience. I hope you have completely recovered from it.
3 people like this
• Arvada, Colorado
23 Apr 23
@Jenaisle Yes that is it. The damage caused from these people are insurmountable to my family. Not just me.
3 people like this
@snowy22315 (181998)
• United States
23 Apr 23
We can drive ourselves crazy with what ifs.There is little we can do to change the past, but hope to make better decisions in the future. The past is behind us, and the future hasn't happened yet.
4 people like this
@Jenaisle (14078)
• Philippines
23 Apr 23
That's a good take on the discussion. How glaringly true it is. I should always remember that there should be no time to think of what-ifs.
3 people like this
@averygirl72 (37845)
• Philippines
24 Apr 23
I have so many what ifs in my life. I have many regrets in life but I think that this could be my destiny. I wonder if I made the other choices and how well my life could be. It feels bad I cannot turn back the hands of time
4 people like this
@Jenaisle (14078)
• Philippines
25 Apr 23
Right, we have to move forward whatever the consequences of our decisions. I'm rooting for you.
3 people like this
@1creekgirl (41692)
• United States
28 Apr 23
My biggest what if is what if I had gone to college before getting married at 18. We didn't have to get married (I wasn't pregnant), we just thought we were grown up. My parents should never have agreed to it. I was still immature and totally unprepared to be a wife. I'm very thankful to have the husband I have, but I think I would have been a good teacher if I had gone to college. And probably a better wife.
3 people like this
@Jenaisle (14078)
• Philippines
28 Apr 23
Oh, you were so young. I got married too at 20. Perhaps, you would have been a great teacher. Maybe, you can still fulfill your dream, as they say, age is only a number - that's from Jim.
2 people like this
@Jenaisle (14078)
• Philippines
28 Apr 23
@1creekgirl OH, really? I thought you were in your early 50s. . I guess you may need a lot of rest and non-stressful activities, like me. Stay safe and take care.
2 people like this
@1creekgirl (41692)
• United States
28 Apr 23
@Jenaisle Yes, but at 75 I'm way too old for college or teaching.
2 people like this
@innertalks (22076)
• Australia
24 Apr 23
I never think about "what ifs", I only think about "what is" or "what was". If I spend all of my time thinking about what is real, I might improve from the experience, but to spend time on what might have been, I do not like to spend my time giving time to that. I think our life slots together through certain coincidences, and happenings, and in a way, each direction that we take, was serving us best at that time. We cannot go back, so I would rather think about how to go forwards, from where I am right now.
4 people like this
@Jenaisle (14078)
• Philippines
24 Apr 23
That is such a good thought and a sane decision. Indeed, why ponder on the what-ifs when we should think about how to go forward and live in the present?
3 people like this
@Jenaisle (14078)
• Philippines
25 Apr 23
@innertalks Yes, and yes.
3 people like this
@innertalks (22076)
• Australia
24 Apr 23
@Jenaisle Yes, we should live our life forwards, not backwards in regrets.
3 people like this
@vandana7 (100546)
• India
28 Apr 23
I suppose there is nobody without such possibilities. LOL That said, I do feel god almighty knows us better and steers us towards the goals that would keep us happier. Sometimes through our choices, and sometimes by creating circumstances. I accept the almighty's wishes, because he knows better.
2 people like this
@Jenaisle (14078)
• Philippines
28 Apr 23
You have great faith in God. With God nothing could possibly go wrong, right?
2 people like this
@Jenaisle (14078)
• Philippines
28 Apr 23
@vandana7 I hope you will remain steadfast in your choices.
2 people like this
@vandana7 (100546)
• India
28 Apr 23
@Jenaisle Well...what I thought went wrong was something due to my choices.
2 people like this
@ShyBear88 (59347)
• Sterling, Virginia
28 Apr 23
I really hate what if's its nasty game I never play because it doesn't change anything. It's kind of like saying if I went back in time an changed this one thing but changing it would change everything. Same thing with what if it's asking to change something write what has already happened. I would rather keep moving forward.
2 people like this
@Jenaisle (14078)
• Philippines
28 Apr 23
Of course, you're right. In your case, you can do several versions of your characters' what-ifs because you're a good writer. I once watched a movie in which two endings were depicted, in which the protagonist was shown choosing one option and what happened and then the other one and what would have happened.
1 person likes this
@Jenaisle (14078)
• Philippines
28 Apr 23
@ShyBear88 I see, your characters write the story themselves. That's a good concept. I like it. That's how it should be, but I can't seem to find this when I'm writing. I should take the hint from you. Thank you.
1 person likes this
@ShyBear88 (59347)
• Sterling, Virginia
28 Apr 23
@Jenaisle I don't even do what if's with my characters, just like in real word its hard to work what if a character did this or that. It's about do you want that character to do that or is your character speaking to you and it is what they are going to do. I run with base idea and my characters are the ones that write the story. I'm just the person putting it to words for them.
2 people like this
@RasmaSandra (80659)
• Daytona Beach, Florida
28 Apr 23
At my age now I have had all the What ifs in my life and all the outcomes and now I just sail along. And just for your pleasure my biggest WHAT IF was a long time ago it is What if I had not gone to Latvia with my mom, not met my soul mate, and not had the most wonderful 20 years of my life that outcome would have been devastating so glad the finger of fate pushed me along, Thank you for the suggestion @1creekgirl
3 people like this
@Jenaisle (14078)
• Philippines
29 Apr 23
I'm glad to hear that. I'm glad that it led to the most wonderful moments of your life. I was wondering why there was an influx of replies in the discussion. Thanks to you and to @1creekgirl
2 people like this
@TheHorse (220127)
• Walnut Creek, California
5 May 23
It's kind of wild to think that there are an infinite number of possibilities of "What if I had taken the other path at" certain crossroads. In my life, In wonder if I should have married Carol. I wonder if I should have stayed a physics major. I wonder if I should have studied more classical piano. Yikes. There are many more.
2 people like this
@shaggin (72190)
• United States
24 Jun 23
@TheHorse you seem to have turned out very well maybe the choices you made were the best ones for you
2 people like this
@Jenaisle (14078)
• Philippines
24 Jun 23
Oh, sorry, The Horse @TheHorse I must have missed your comment. I have read this only now. My bad. Yes, there are infinite numbers of possibilities. If you have married Carol, you may have made it through life as well or if you have stayed in your physics major, you may now be in the academe, and if you studied more classical piano, you may have become famous like Ludwig van Beethoven. I wish though that with the choices you previously made, you are happy and have kept going, and that's what really counts. Have a great weekend. Sorry again for my sin of omission.
2 people like this
@TheHorse (220127)
• Walnut Creek, California
24 Jun 23
@Jenaisle You have a good weekend too. I have led a decent life so far...but I always wonder...
2 people like this
@sol_cee (38219)
• Philippines
24 Apr 23
Why were you away from your parents during your teen years?
3 people like this
@Jenaisle (14078)
• Philippines
24 Apr 23
I was studying in the big city and they were staying with family and working in our village.
2 people like this
@Deepizzaguy (104007)
• Lake Charles, Louisiana
28 Apr 23
I wanted to find work in the field of math problem solving.
2 people like this
@Jenaisle (14078)
• Philippines
28 Apr 23
I see, that's quite a big what-if. Math is awesome.
2 people like this
@Jenaisle (14078)
• Philippines
28 Apr 23
@Deepizzaguy I understand, then you have it in your veins, so to speak. Well, it's not too late yet, I presume, for you to pursue your what-if!?
2 people like this
@Deepizzaguy (104007)
• Lake Charles, Louisiana
28 Apr 23
@Jenaisle One of my relatives from my late dad's side of the family is Francois Viete (1540-1603) who was a mathematician from France.
2 people like this
@LindaOHio (181348)
• United States
29 Apr 23
So many "what ifs". I have dozens. One was what if I had joined the Navy. Would I have met and married my husband? Probably not.
2 people like this
@Jenaisle (14078)
• Philippines
29 Apr 23
You have joined the Navy? That's amazing. Then the what-ifs are not needed in this happy scenario.
2 people like this
@LindaOHio (181348)
• United States
29 Apr 23
@Jenaisle No I did not join the Navy. I thought about it very seriously at the time.
2 people like this
@Yadah04 (3363)
• Philippines
24 Apr 23
Yes, I have my own share of what-ifs too. Just like you, I wonder if I pursued the employment offered to me upon graduation rather than running my own business, I would have been one of those climbing up the corporate ladder. But still, I am glad that I pursued this path that I am in, less stressful and more focused on spiritual matters and my family.
3 people like this
@Jenaisle (14078)
• Philippines
24 Apr 23
Good for you. Continue doing so. Good luck.
2 people like this
@rakski (125892)
• Philippines
28 Apr 23
yes, I also have a lot what ifs but right now, though it is lingering in our minds at times, I tend to move forward and do the best for what I have today
2 people like this
@Jenaisle (14078)
• Philippines
28 Apr 23
That's the correct attitude. Bravo for you, keep going.
2 people like this
@rakski (125892)
• Philippines
28 Apr 23
@Jenaisle we should. We cannot live in the past.
2 people like this
• Eugene, Oregon
29 Apr 23
So many "ifs" in all our lives really. But I am in a very good place right now, so if I had taken other roads in life, I would be in a different place, with a different woman, perhaps, or no one, so in order to be "here" now, I had to choose the path I took.
2 people like this
@Jenaisle (14078)
• Philippines
29 Apr 23
That's sweet, in other words, you're saying that you love where you are now with your wife.
2 people like this
• Eugene, Oregon
4 May 23
@Jenaisle Yes, I am happy with those choices.
1 person likes this
@DeborahDiane (40317)
• Laguna Woods, California
30 Apr 23
@Jenaisle - I think it is normal to "what if." However, we should not linger on those thoughts too long. We need to focus more on the life we are actually living. If something in it makes us unhappy, then we should take steps to change it. If something brings us great joy, we should relish it. The important thing is that we enjoy the life we actually have!
2 people like this
@Jenaisle (14078)
• Philippines
30 Apr 23
That's valuable food for thought. You hit the nail in the head. There's so much sense in what you said. I like that you acknowledge that it's normal to "what-if"
2 people like this
@just4him (317249)
• Green Bay, Wisconsin
28 Apr 23
Yes, I have what if's in my life. My biggest one is what if my parents truly loved me. What kind of person would I be now? My youth shaped my life and the choices I made. Do I have regrets? Yes. But I also have blessings that far outweigh the regrets.
2 people like this
@Jenaisle (14078)
• Philippines
28 Apr 23
I feel your sadness. I hope you get better now. I'm glad there are more blessings now than the regrets.
2 people like this
@just4him (317249)
• Green Bay, Wisconsin
28 Apr 23
@Jenaisle Thank you.
1 person likes this
@andriaperry (117138)
• Anniston, Alabama
29 Apr 23
Yes, however, I know God had this plan for my life and I am where I'm supposed to be.
2 people like this
@Jenaisle (14078)
• Philippines
29 Apr 23
That's an awesome way to put it. Do you also believe in determinism?
2 people like this
@andriaperry (117138)
• Anniston, Alabama
29 Apr 23
@Jenaisle to be determined to accomplish a task is also a lesson to us. The task was given to be accomplished.
2 people like this
@Mohanda (97)
24 Apr 23
I think, this will help What if I will ...... Instead of past
2 people like this
@Jenaisle (14078)
• Philippines
24 Apr 23
@Mohanda Yes. it is.
2 people like this
24 Apr 23
But it's common or our nature thinging about past like why we missed that
3 people like this