How do you get somebody out of your head?
By TheRealDawn
@dawnald (85147)
Shingle Springs, California
June 17, 2023 12:21pm CST
Haven't posted in a while, so I'm downloading a lot today...
Broke up with a 10 year boyfriend last November. I realized there were things about him that I didn't want to deal with any more. Turns out my kids disliked him a lot more than I knew too. I do not miss him.
It wasn't that long after the breakup that I started dating a friend and sometimes political ally. Sparks and common interests and many good things later, we broke up because he has attachment issues and PTSD due to abusive exes (and maybe also because his dad was abusive).
My head accepted that this was beyond his control, but the other side of my brain has more trouble with it. I miss him. Strangely, it isn't mostly the romance I miss. It's the person. I miss running things by him, and hearing about what he's working on, and dumb jokes, and all that.
I've managed to fill my time with being busy and my kids and my friends and work and politics and shows and all that, but I think about him every doggone day, and some nights I can't sleep. I haven't seen him for almost 5 months, and we haven't talked since I asked him for some advice re: my son early last month, but he lives in my head all the time.
It hurts less and it gets easier, but he's always on my mind. Guess I really fell for him.
5 people like this
5 responses
@RebeccasFarm (88551)
• Arvada, Colorado
17 Jun 23
Yes he was a breath of fresh air when you broke up with your longtime x.
2 people like this
@RebeccasFarm (88551)
• Arvada, Colorado
17 Jun 23
@dawnald That is a dang shame Dawn. I understand.
2 people like this
@Laurakemunto (12862)
• Kenya
17 Jun 23
Some people when they leave our lives we come to understand the goodness of oxygen
2 people like this
@toniganzon (72277)
• Philippines
18 Jun 23
It's sad that you ended everything and don't talk anymore. I hope you could still be friends and just have casual talks.
1 person likes this
@dawnald (85147)
• Shingle Springs, California
19 Jun 23
@toniganzon you can say that again 
1 person likes this
@toniganzon (72277)
• Philippines
18 Jun 23
@dawnald I can understand. Sometimes, it's just difficult.
1 person likes this
@Laurakemunto (12862)
• Kenya
17 Jun 23
Yes you fell for him and it takes time just allow time to do its thing you will soon be over him
1 person likes this
@dawnald (85147)
• Shingle Springs, California
17 Jun 23
Eventually, but maybe not soon.
Funny, I was on Facebook, and there was this article, 10 things that make a man a perfect partner, and I looked at it, and he was a 9 out of 10. The one he failed was "go with the flow". He is very much not go with the flow. Certain things he just wouldn't do, which is fine since I could go do them with other people. He wasn't controlling like I couldn't do them either. But they need to add one, which is "being emotionally available", because when it came down to it, this guy wasn't. He started having nightmares and avoidance feelings when we got too close.
1 person likes this
@Laurakemunto (12862)
• Kenya
17 Jun 23
@dawnald it's so sad I truly understand you
1 person likes this
